I've gotten to a point where I feel pathetic, incapable, and subhuman about everything, so as a wah of coping I look for similar flaws in others to tell myself I'm not as bad in comparison as I think. Except it doesn't do anything, now I just think everyone else is equally subhuman as me, while I'm still jealous of them for the things we can't compare in. Idk what stage of AVPD this even is, but it creates this rly weird situation where I desperately want to be a part of society while also fucking despising everyone and feeling worse about myself in association. It's like a weird incest baby between AvPD and NPD except missing the ego

I just read that some personality disorders like NPD and BPD have a designated awareness month. I googled if AVPD has one.. and it doesn't 🥲 We require awareness even more because our disorder is practically obscure and often misdiagnosed and ignored even by therapists. It sucks so much that we are always ignored and invisible. This literally affects me because in my country there are practically no therapists specializing in the treatment of AVPD but I know some who treat BPD.