voxalos @voxalos - Tumblr Blog

"can our ai assistant help you?" "give our ai mode a try !" "our ai assistant is your new best friend !"

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mioxenoblade

🍜🍥🍜

ghost-mantis

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

evilwizard

put on my leitmotif bro i feel a monologue coming on

squidkidghoul

Oops, accidentally put on the version that turns into a dramatic reprise of the main heroes theme halfway through. That’s probably fine, right?

evilwizard

you motherfucker…

frodo-of-the-nine-fingers

my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits

moral-autism

vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.

aksemmi

vampire who is a woke predation abolitionist and so exclusively hunts predators, leaving primarily herbivorous and scavenging animals alone

yaldabaothadeez

"For miles around the foul creature's lair is nothing but barren wastes"

"because of The Curse?"

"Because of the deer and rabbits, fucking thing ate all the wolves"

sawxix

funniest possible singular sentence in the english language has already been conceived n it's the first line of the tardis wiki article on "sex"

sawxix

the past tense implying sex has since been eradicated. the six (6) different synonyms all with 1-3 linked sources. those extensive citations juxtaposed with the extremely vague given definition of "an action performed by two or more people" . it's so fucking good. I could never put together a sentence this funny even if you gave me a full paid year off 2 do it

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beau-ba-fett

Imagine you’re some pod racing enthusiast watching the Boonta Eve Classic and some literal child enters with the shittiest scrap pod you’ve ever seen. He built it himself. He then proceeds to absolutely demolish every other professional racer. The kid never enters a race again but his legacy lives on in the hearts of the pod racing community.

About 10 years later, you tune into a news stream to catch some news about the Clone War. The announcer is talking about a particularly pivotal battle, saying something about “Jedi General Anakin Skywalker”

YOU MEAN THAT KID FROM THE BOONTA EVE CLASSIC???

gffa

#then about 50 years later you listen to the holonet and hear#''senator leia organa has just been exposed as the daughter of darth vader who as it turns out was actually jedi knight anakin skywalker''#and you spit out your drink like the principal from amazing world of gumball in that one scene#anakin skywalker#star wars (via @stairset)

asteroidtroglodyte

A bunch of pod-racing fanatics telling tales in cantinas across the empire, building up a mythology around That One Time A Literal Child Decimated The Boonta Eve Classic In The Shittiest Damn Pod-Racer You Ever Did See: I bet he’s still out there, just being a force for chaos

The Force: hold my beer

homunculus-argument

How to write the most amazing unique and original story ever:

Pick a random setting that you think would be fun and cool to write about. Either something you already know a lot about, or something you know you're going to have fun researching.

Choose your favourite Shakespeare play. If you don't know any of them, just pick one at random, but try not to go with Romeo and Juliet, that's been done way too much.

Start figuring out how you'd adapt the play into the setting you chose. What would the characters in this world have instead of a king? What would they take as seriously as Shakespeare's world took religion and god? What kind of lifelong "will only end in one party's death" contracts and agreements would they have that they would regard the same way as Shakespeare's plays regard marriage?

Every time some element or detail of the play is incompatible with the setting you chose, always alter the plot to match the setting, not the other way around.

Eventually you'll have altered so many of the original story's elements that the end result is practically unrecognisable and has next to no resemblance to the original play. This is now your original story. You asked "what if I could make a llama work as a horse?" and reverse engineered the camel.

feluka

the paul mccartney is dead conspiracy theory is the funniest thing in the world because i feel like if he did die and the beatles did replace him like parents replace a gold fish and the new guy managed to look exactly like him and play left handed bass, piano, and vocals in the same style and produce the same quality of music consistently for 30+ years then it'd be honestly rude to mention it at that point. like he's earned it let him have it

feluka

the double is the one that deserves the title of paul mccartney because he actually worked for it. the other guy was just born into it

feluka

they had to replace paul because he died under their care (they forgot to refill his bowl) but john was solo when he died so nobody could say it was their fault

stayrosy

snoopys! by fruitillu

ovur

You don't remember my old url....? O-oh.. no its fine. I said its fine! Don't... don't touch me.

ovur

*trips while I'm running away and you get a panty shot*

flunkett

Huh

frikinnerd

Can you believe they tried to monetize this shit

ovur

Ok I'll go fuck myself

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witchble

Science is spiritual!

Learning how the world works doesn’t strip it of magic, it reveals even more of it. The more I understand the universe, the more sacred it feels.

bloedgetuige

having a cat is great. there's a small little animal wandering around. effervescent

bloedgetuige

EATING MY CHARGER

cparti-mkiki

"goddess" "matriarchy" "female wisdom" girl your civic rights

tauindi

“But I didn’t and still don’t like making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior – women’s knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?”

— Ursula K. Le Guin

yeetus-6942069

rowlfthedog

imsobadatnicknames2

I rarely bring this up because it feels like fairly silly and low-stakes compared to all the other effects of american imperialism, but one of the funniest things when Americans deny that living in the imperial core and the center of global cultural hegemony confers them any sort of privilege over people from the imperial periphery is that like. In order for this conversation where you tell me you have no privilege over me to even be able to take place one of us had to learn the other's language, and it wasn't you.

I think the fact that by default the onus of learning the other's language to enable communication is always put on the other side is a pretty significant privilege on the cultural front.

ilikesallydonovan

Tags via @thriceandonce

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hbbisenieks

normal people in SF are fucking sick of every billboard being for AI slop

error-404-fuck-not-found

takes a real artist to go "i have to deface this billboard promoting an evil corporation's evil product. but crucially☝️the typeface and kerning must match or else it's cringe"

yorickish-deactivated20230903

this wasn't a quote from a real PDF btw I just thought it would be funny to tex this up so it looked like one instead of posting it directly

adjoint-law

the next evolution of Tumblr shitposting is looking promising

paradise-sys

believe it or not there is an xkcd for this

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