Vorth’s Voice: A Gift to the World

aries: if i die before i wake, turn my body into steak

taurus: humans ARE ravioli…the meat is contained in the pasta, or skin.

gemini: do peanuts- this is a silly question.

cancer: what’s wrong bitch? are sad?

leo: showtime aphobes

virgo: that’s not how houses work. have you ever been inside a house?

libra: well, first of all, i’m considered beautiful by all standards

scorpio: catch me in the garden with a gun i’ll shoot a worm i don’t care

sagittarius: you need a formal cowboy hat, a semi formal cowboy hat, and a slutty cowboy hat at LEAST

capricorn: INSPECTOR GADGET IS IN MY HOUSE

aquarius: anyone else put kraft singles on their cereal?

wasps

mushrooms make you hallucinate sometimes but you can’t tell which ones

a biome that is just a parking lot

villagers can say fuck

scurvy

all blocks are infested

slime armor

ability to craft raw mutton block, raw beef block, raw pork block, and raw chicken block

climate change

in tundra biomes coal is obtainable by hanging a stocking by the fire and being naughty

asbestos

creepers explode into dozens of smaller creepers

some villagers are just a bunch of silverfish in a trenchcoat

dark forest 2: biome that is completely covered by a single thick dark oak tree truck

Long Cows

the wrath of a god that will not forgive you

Fat Fred

a BOG is a wetland that is acidic

and anakin/vader thinks that he killed padme

and they both think the other is dead and vader hates the shadowy leader of the rebellion and padme hates the emperor’s black-suited attack dog

Padme just

fucking takes her mask off and throws it at him and says she’ll use herself in her own arguments all she fucking well wants and it bounces off his face and she figures she’s gonna die and she’s totally not prepared for the second-in-command of the entire Empire to just fall on his knees at her feet.