Get Fucked

a new updated and significantly worse version of The Game (sorry) directed at a specific subset of chronically online people has infact been circling since the mid-2010s. and it is lost when one fumbles while attempting to plug their phone in to charge at night

honestly given my parents whole [gestures vaguely] i am actually incredibly well adjusted

on the topic of that video game anniversaries post, my nephew recently told me he was getting into vintage gaming and then whipped out fucking phantom hourglass, killing me instantly

i like telling him about how i used to feed him formula when he was a tiny baby tucked into my left arm and i balanced the bottle in his mouth against my chin while i used my right hand to roleplay vampires on neopets.com and code my myspace page and he’s like ‘ok old man’

yaoi between two beautiful knights who keep ending up fighting each other but it turns out both of them are pretending to be men in order to be knights so its actually secret beautiful butch yuri. picture this

one is the handsome gentlemanly princely type with long hair riding on a white horse that all the ladies fawn over, the other is the badass grim bulky type with scars and a scowl and a big ass broadsword who always aura farms in the corner of the tavern alone

if you want pluto to be a planet so bad get out there and fuck it with your penis so it gets big and pregnant. otherwise don't talk to me about it

Makes excellent hams when cured of what -

Life, presumably @elodieunderglass

I love to set up a joke, thank you

@dongtopus

Happy Stabby!!

Julius Ceasar has been dead for 2064 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2065 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2066 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2067 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2068 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2069 (nice) slutty, slutty years

is that a knife in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, hehehe wait what-

straight up stabbin “it”. and by “it”, i mean julius caesar

brutus has been having boys nights like every day this week what could they POSSIBLY have to talk about that much