Just Chillin’

Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

americans are sooo desensitized to guns and sometimes it manifests in ways that affect your media literacy. like remember in the first episode of sherlock when john watson opens up his drawer and you see a gun in there and youre supposed to understand that this is narratively significant and conveys his suicidality as well as his willingness to skirt rules and laws but the first time i watched it i was like oh well theres his desk gun. lots of people have those

there should be a sequel poem called Ozymandias 2 where it’s revealed that the statue is actually the centerpiece of a bustling tourist town, the road to the town lies directly on top of a stone road that Ozymandias built during his reign, and that historical fiction about him continues to sell quite well in both domestic and international markets

Third act plot twist when it turns out all this fame is due to the Shelley poem, and they engraved a copy of the poem right on the "pedestal where these words appeared", covering up the original text, since it had long ago faded away when the tourism boom began.

"this quote was attributed to me. perhaps as a punishment." -dostoevsky

"this quote was attributed to me. perhaps as a punishment." -dostoevsky

he must be one of the 12 people who saw TENET

The funniest thing the saw franchise ever did was giving jigsaw a bunch of dead wife flashbacks in saw 3 only to have the next movie reveal his wife wasn't even dead she just divorced his ass because he kept building torture traps

don't go into the humanities because they're unprofitable and don't go into stem cuz its getting torn apart right now and don't go into buisness because it's competetive and speculative and don't go into education because it pays like shit. Just lay on thr ground. Just lay on the ground.

60% of working in advertising in 2025 is sitting in meetings going "we can't use that trending audio on social unless we license it from brandon rogers. yes, it's one of his again it is literally always one of his"

Had a meeting this morning where I said verbatim “yeah, ‘move I’m gay’ is him too. I don’t know why this is so hard for people to pick up on he can really only do minor variations on the one very distinctive voice”

what's this 'wife' business? nobody calls him Prince-Consort Mario

if Bowser kidnapped my plumbing client, I would be saying “wahoo” as long as those hours were billable

the thing is they really do let you hit because you're goofy.

i say shit like "whuh oh!" and it makes girls want to kiss me under moonlight for some reason