the sky's the limit

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

i genuinely really hope you’re happy with who you’re becoming– a little more so every day. i hope you really like yourself.

also i want to gently remind you that it’s okay to be working toward liking yourself. you can be in the process of getting there, and it’s okay if you’re not there yet. don’t punish yourself for it.

Sometimes "rarepair" means "you are literally the only person who posts about this on tumblr dot com" and you have to learn to be okay with that.

I love lying to my landlord. “We’re currently looking at a comparable unit in the area at $[a hundred dollars less than our current rent]/month, so if your offer has any flexibility to come down on the rent, that would help us reach a decision about whether or not to renew our lease here” and the comparable unit exists only in my own beautiful mind

Chocolate Guy's Wario

one genre of fanfiction that seems to have mostly disappeared since i became an adult is shenanigans-type fics. like not exactly crack but just "the gang goes to 7-11" type, extremely low-stakes plot stories. the beach episodes of fanfiction. i just feel like i don't see those around so much anymore. whered they go. i miss them :(

Reblog and put in the tags if you can remember where you got the shirt you're currently wearing.

"no you can't control the computer because uh that would be user unfriendly" <- shit they expect us to believe

"The user doesn't know what they are doing, but luckily we are smart and can make all the decisions for them" <- voice of an operating system that kills its own firewall for no reason and doesn't tell anyone for months until you ask it where the firewall is