🌑🎙 @void-microphone - Tumblr Blog

But if I kill myself, who will feed my girlfriend and cats?

#about me #pinned post #depression #suicidal

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In a "fuck everything" kind of mood

#and not in the fun way #personal #i hate depression #fuck depression #relationship #fuck.#work #life #choking on emotions

Yesterday's silence was so horrible. I don't know what upsets me more- the fact you have nothing to say, or the way you continue like nothing happened.

#couple #relationship #communication problems #conflict avoidance #where do i draw the line

I hope 10-15mins of your time is worth it soon...I hope you remember...I hope you see me trying and want to try too...

#personal #couple #relationship #maybe later

templetv-deactivated20260211

hey can you come over and surgically remove this heavy, aching rot from my heart? we can watch a movie afterwards

void-microphone

I'll order some pizza ?

#it will be fine

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Depression is making sleep more difficult which in turn is making my Depression worse 🙃

#i hate depression #fuck.#fuck depression

It's hard to want to talk when all I am thinking about is how tired and sad I am.

#personal #i hate depression #fuck depression

doing it alone besides the soft "I'm sorry"

#personal #couple #relationship #fuck.#chronic illness #fuck depression #im just so tired

I dont know if I can withstand a life of smoldering pain. Having to be acutely aware of every morsel I consume. Giving up comforts that have become poison.

#personal #unwell

I dont want to have to rely on pain killers but I also dont want to be in so much pain.

#personal #life stuff #fuck.

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This year has been so much. It started with me believing I'd have my first child by the end of summer. That only lasted a few months until we found out our cells did not continue to grow. It was a silent personal tragedy. We broke down in more than a few ways.

Once we finally started to gain a fair footing in life, our trajectory veered wildly again. My partner awoke one day with severe pain. That morning landed us in the hospital for 10 full days. This is where we learned my partner had barely any kidney function due to a hereditary disease. They will require lifelong treatment and care. Our day-to-day life is different as well as our near and distant future.

After a month of my partner being released, I experienced some minor discomfort in my throat. I immediately assumed I had contracted some viral infection due to my occupation. Since my partner has a low immune system already, I promptly went to a clinic for treatment. The day I went to the clinic I had started running a fever. It has been over 8 days and I still have the fever. The original clinic I went to basically said, "We don't know what's wrong with you. Come back in a week if you are still feeling bad." The second clinic I visited took me more seriously and ran more tests. The results of which indicate I may have an autoimmune issue.

I feel weak on every conceivable level. I have slept for almost an entire week but I have never been this tired in my whole life.

#personal #this year

I was struggling under the weight of my life a few weeks ago. Now the stress and responsibilities have doubled if not tripled. I am lucky to have support but it's going to be months before anything starts to feel "normal". I should be used to swallowing my wants and needs but I have these moments where I am incredibly saddened by all of the things standing between me and feeling fulfilled.

My stomach is constantly turning and my mind has been furiously pacing. I was already tired and weak. I can only hope I have the strength.

#oof #personal #i hate depression #couple #relationship #chronic illness #burnt out #frustrated #life stuff

No smoke. No sex. No sleep. Bad day at work. Dog shit all over the carpet. Car is breaking down.

I feel like my soul has been sick for a long time now

#i hate depression #fuck depression

Constantly feeling sick and overwhelmed is very overwhelming and sickening..

#i hate depression #fuck depression #personal #work stuff #life stuff

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Starting a new book on combating depression. Sick of the constant onslaught of negativity in my life. I'm starting to grow fruits of anger I do not want.

I will not kneel to this shadow anymore.

#i hate depression #fuck depression #personal

I need a new direction. I need to be working towards something better. I need MORE than what life has been for the past few years.

#thoughts #personal

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