:)

HERE I HAVE TO GOOGLE DOCS FILLED WITH LINKS

Here

And

now, i get that people can do whatever they want and i can’t change that, but i’m just going to say it anyways because i get flamed in anti spaces for saying this. i DO think darkshippers have good ideals, i just think they’re being carried out wrong, and that’s why i’m an anti. see, i totally agree that it is beneficial to write or draw things in order to process trauma. it’s true that therapists do recommend doing so. however, every single darkshipper i have seen romanticizes the trope they are shipping.

especially if it’s related to one’s trauma, this can cause the brain to see those relationships as better and more romantic than they actually are. this is, obviously, extremely unhealthy, because incest and child-adult relationships are NOT NORMAL and need to be portrayed as they actually are and how they can actually happen. predators preying on children is not some cutesy little romantic thing, and i’m sorry, but I’m tired of people acting like it is, especially as someone who has been in one of these relationships and was sexually assaulted. (i know i’m kind of making a big deal out of this topic but i get really passionate about these kinds of things so forgive me………)

my other gripe with darkshipping is how and where it’s posted online. i get that people online are not responsible for what other people’s children see, but it’s still good to take care, because children are curious and a five second trigger warning is not going to stop them from seeing these things and getting themselves into it, which is something that happened to me. i personally don’t think these works should be posted online at all, but if you absolutely HAVE to, i believe that darkshippers should make their own online spaces to share their works. and before you mention that ao3 was originally a darkship space that was eventually overrun with antis, no, i do not think that antis should be allowed in these spaces, and nor do i think that darkshippers should be allowed in anti spaces. to each their own.

anyways that’s all i can really think of… i know it was kind of corny but i’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this if you do answer this ask anyways :)

First off I want to understand where you’re coming from when you say specifically adult/minor relationships “should” be portrayed as unhealthy. Why? Because it’s wrong in real life? So is murder and so is cannibalism, two dark tropes I see “antis” fling around and romanticizing like candy (really hate the word romanticizing in regard to fictional shit but that’s neither here nor there). So why is it that those two dark things are allowed to be “romanticized” but things such as grooming and incest aren’t? If your knee-jerk reaction is based on personal feelings of disgust because you were victimized in real life by those things, I feel for you, I do, but it isn’t your place to dictate what kinds of things can and can’t be explored through fiction and the way the author/artist chooses to portray those relationships. Also, obligatory: nobody is romanticizing your trauma because frankly nobody cares enough about you to do that. And I mean that in the kindest way! You are your own first priority so of course you’re going to relate things you see online that may remind you of what you went through back to your own experiences. But nobody is out to get you personally, and *you are allowed* to despise that content. you’re allowed to block every single person on the internet who posts shit you don’t like. But you can’t control it. It’s fiction. It’s not real. I also want to know where you got the idea that someone unpacking their own trauma in a fictional setting, where they have control, and shining a different light on it where it makes them happy to portray such things is unhealthy. I see this spouted off often nowadays and I just want to know where it came from because I got the exact opposite advice when discussing this topic with my therapist. It’s different for each individual person. What may be unhealthy for one individual could be the thing that finally frees another from constant panic attacks over their past abuse.

I do agree with you about keeping minors and people who don’t want to see that kind of stuff out of the way, but responsible people who post this kind of content do tag their works and make sure it’s as unfindable as possible for anyone who doesn’t wish to find it. People who intentionally flashbang nonconsenting parties with intense, triggering topics are assholes. However I do think part of this falls on the person who doesn’t want to see that stuff. Curate your space. Use your block button. Block tags. The world will never cater to you and you have to take responsibility for your own mental health. And if you see something you don’t like it literally is not the end of the world I’m sorry. But it isn’t. Being triggered sucks so badly but there are times in life it will happen and it’s not anybody’s fault unless something was sent to you to intentionally trigger you. If there’s a trigger warning in place, the poster already did their due diligence