requiem.

nevaeh swore she felt her heart stop when the lights went out. she wasn’t really sure if she believed in things like omens, but this sure felt like one. things at the game had been going mostly okay, by recent st. etienne standards. she sat with her fellow student government colleagues, smiling as people dropped in notes for the memorial, although there were far fewer than expected. she thought the game was the school’s way of getting their mind off of everything, and nevaeh thought it might’ve been working. until the blackout. she didn’t know how she knew, maybe it was her intuition or maybe it was just plain paranoia, but she knew that it had something to do with the death. when the lights came back on, and one of their own was sent away in handcuffs, 

she didn’t know what to think. she nodded at the other members of the student government as grabbed her bag. she was about to head away from the game, as far from it as possible when she noticed inseong sitting on the bleachers. she had always thought he was a somewhat nervous person, maybe that’s why they got along, because they had that in common. but this was at a level she had never really seen from him. she put down her bag and sat next to him. she put her hand on his leg to let her know that she was there. “hey,” she said, after a few moments of silence. “do you need anything or do you just want to sit here?”

he wanted to leave. leave that place, leave that town, go to look for his brother and hide away somewhere, not even caring if that meant not having the money or the fame or anything he lived with. as long as he had his brother, he knew he’d be fine, he’d be safe. 

but right now everything was chaotic and people voicing louder and louder the cacophony of their fears and choleric annoyance was so jarring against his ears like nails on chalkboard, somehow thanking when one of the voices popping over the mass a little bit more was of one of his dearest and most honest friends. “ neve. ” he whined, and he probably sounded pathetic, but right now he didn’t care that much. focusing on the way she was trying to soothe him with her gentle touches.  “ can we, can we leave, please? i n-need to leave, i feel like i can’t breathe. ”

cam buried his face in his hands; that was the thing this exposer didn’t seem to understand. it wasn’t just the people on their list they were impacting, it was people beyond that. it was inseong’s brother, and cam’s siblings, and alice’s family and elliott’s family and… and everyone. “i’m sure your brother will be fine,” cam insists, because what the fuck else could he say? he shouldn’t have even said that because he couldn’t… he couldn’t guarantee anything. he didn’t know that for sure. 

still, he perked up when inseong said that he’d deserved it, like a shock to his system. because he could assure him that that wasn’t remotely true. “you didn’t deserve to get pulled into this mess, like…” cam shakes his head. “you didn’t do anything.” inseong never hurt anybody. inseong was the most innocent person on campus right now. 

cam opened his mouth, unsure how to respond. “i don’t know, i don’t…” he shook his head, slumping over. “i’m still figuring it out.” he glanced up to inseong, a man he considered to be his friend, one of the kindest people he’d ever met. “we can… we can figure it out together, how about that?” 

people beyond the thirty of them were going to get hurt and he knew he couldn’t stop it ━he had no power whatsoever, none of them really had. especially when that person, whoever they were that owned now daisey’s blog, had more and more things to push and use against them like some cheap bribery. “ i really hope so. ” inseong was scared. he was scared for so many people, not even for himself ━wanting their safety first and foremost, hoping this all would reach an end soon and that they all could finally meet peace.

jules had been firmly situated between two rowdy, die-hard st. e’s fans. he had been dodging giant foam fingers and spilled drinks all night. having lost track of where any of his friends had gotten away to, he found himself stuck, alone in the bleachers, yet in very close quarters with two people he was starting to dislike. when every single light in the stadium suddenly died, though, jules found himself instinctively gripping on to the arm of the man next to him out of shock. embarrassed, he released the man’s sleeve from his palm and forced himself to look forward at the row in front of him, avoiding eye contact with the guy at all costs. upon shifting his attention to the people sitting below him, he caught a glimpse of a familiar face — inseong. he looked pale, perhaps because of the implications of the sudden blackout. jules was terrified too, his mind drifting towards where kiki was and if she was safe – but he attempted to put on a stable front to calm the boy in front of him. “ hey, dude. are you okay ? ”

the fool: do you have any nicknames?

a flush could be seen, pinkish and giving even more pink to the slight freckling on his nose, the embarrassment easy to test on young flesh. “ i do, but- ” but some are just too weird to be even brought on table, or just too embarrassing. “ my mom calls me inseongie, or seongie. ” too bad it never really felt like something affectionate. “ and a-around campus i usually get called ‘seong, or music kid. ”

the chariot: thoughts on astrology?

“ astrology is fun, and a good w-way to joke and tease around friends, but… i don’t really think it really de-defines us as people, i don’t. ” a pause. “ in k-korean culture, from what my mom told me, it’s given m-much more importance to your blood t-type, and that’s how people tells all about you. ”

the tower: favorite colors to wear? 

the star: have you ever seen a psychic?

“ a psychic? no, i mean, i don’t think the ones in m-movies really count for the question. ” the question came with little doubt in his mind, doe eyes quirked in puzzled expression alongside frowning brows.

the sun: do you believe in magic?

it’s just him, the agent, the stern looks, the need to cry.

and of course, the lack of sounds, the silence.

mentioned: @the-great-and-wonderful-oz​​ @ofzola​​ @rosaliamorais​​ @holdenwoodz @thcyer

it wasn’t like she DIDN’T KNOW about the football game. frankie rivera wasn’t fucking stupid, nor did she live under a rock — as much as the hours she spent tucked away from the rest of st. e’s campus felt like the most blissful of solitary confinement. she was well-aware of the football game that was set to start in only a few hours. in fact, that was the exact reason why she’d decided to head out to her shop in the first place. because she was confident that she’d be able to work on the most recent addition to her collection — a ‘69 TRIUMPH that she’d spent the better part of the last month trying to restore to sort of working condition — in PEACE.

she’d been wrong. go fucking figure, huh? the sound of knuckles rapping against the garage door snapped her out of her concentrated state, irritation written across her features as she moved from her place on the ground to hoist open the door. “can i fucking help you or — ” her words died on her tongue and the aforementioned irritation woven through her expression diminished, noticeably, when she caught a glimpse of her guest. “well, SHIT. don’t tell me you came all the way out here just to pay me a visit. and no chaperone, either?” her eyebrows quirked, something akin to teasing alight in her impish grin. it wasn’t that she thought she was above the law — if a curfew and the buddy system could even be called laws, that was — rather, she’d just never been the best at adhering to the rules, and she certainly wasn’t going to start now. “spit it out. what do you need?”

running away from the thousand eyes staring at him and the chaotic sound of a game he wasn’t even interested in ( not even pretending to, he was too emotionally and mentally drained to even attempt at putting out a pretty mask, smiling and waving ) still wrapped in the darkness of a blackout, spending his time just like a wandering fool that would rather walk in the woods rather than stay in such a place once homey, now so oppressive. and he hated the woods with a passion.

and he wasn’t even sure on why his feet brought him to frankie’s garage. probably because it indeed just looked like a place no one would look for him, or maybe because he had the feeling frankie wasn’t at the game too, and he didn’t even blame her for that considering he was there, giving a few tentative knocks against the dusty, painted metal of the garage door, barely able to give a smile to her when waving his hand as a greeting. “ they’re all busy with the game, so probably they won’t even notice i’m g-gone. ” the music boy said with a slight stutter at the end, brushing in awkwardness his own neck. he wasn’t needed at the band because he played strings, and they needed all those drums and brasses to make sure they’d make some loud statements; and the blackout just gave him a whole panic attack. “ i just wanted t-to get away from there after all lights went out. honestly. i think i’ve been walking around without a real place to go, and ended up here. ”

an entire week had past. friday to friday and sam hadn’t really seen inseong once. it was strange, the silence that filled the practice space during the virtuoso’s usual hour of occupance. he couldn’t blame the guy though, the blog proved to be harsh on such a sensitive soul. he’s debated his next actions over and over again. unsure of how to react. how to deal with these sorts of things, but at the end of the day inseong was his friend. it’s the only right thing to do, even if it’s leaning towards a little too late. he can at least say he always gives it a try.  the mascot head was clutched gently to his side, the big game was still ahead of them that night and knowledge of the the other’s attendance or lackthereof was what he requested. a soft knock at the door yielded no results so he decided a second, a bit louder might earn someone’s attention. though just as he believes he can hear someone just beyond the door, sam sidesteps out of the frame with his right arm extending to present the knight’s head alone. “boo!” @virtuosiste

honestly he wanted to see no one. games or not, he had no intentions to put his face outside since that meant being stared and judged in the most negative way ( and he was already used to that in competitions, duh. ), to have people look at him like a criminal when he wasn’t. he just wanted to find someone that belonged to his family and was being kept away from him for some reason he still had to understand, it wasn’t that much of a stretch compared to what has been exposed as of late. he heard someone during band practices saying that ashmont’s a cove of murderers, and while at first he would’ve said it wasn’t true, now he too had his own doubts. 

nonetheless, he wasn’t needed at band for the whole games thing, luckily for him. he could stay at home to wallow in his own misery, and----no, according to the knocking at the door and his own consequent groan of annoyance, that wasn’t the plan for whoever was on the outside of the apartment. it was only after the second and much more aggressive knock that he dragged himself outside of his own room and reached the main door, wincing at sam’s little joke. “ eek! ” now, that was high pitched. “ why did you do that?! ” 

of all the years to shit the bed for halloween, it had to be this one. where, apparently, his fucking costume was the deciding factor. he couldn’t believe that he’d gotten fifth worst, and still got exposed. got honestly, his own situation couldn’t even fucking compare to inseong’s, who sat less than a few feet away from him and looked a fucking wreck. cam was still in shock, he was sure, like none of this was real. his entire dilemma had been caused by him trying to avoid a bad thing that happened in his life, and then he kept avoiding it, and kept avoiding it, and a part of him believed he could still avoid it. but it was just now hitting him how many people now knew he was not only a thief, but a liar.

but inseong’s secret was… reasonable. rational. and so he couldn’t help but shake his head, arms wrapped around his torso as if hugging himself. “i know you did,” cam assured, even though he hadn’t until now. he just didn’t know what to say. “but hey, at least you didn’t put your brother in prison.” cam cringed at himself, running his hands over his face. “sorry, i’m just. this blows. it really does.” and yeah, sure, maybe cam deserved this, but inseong? he just wanted to find his fucking brother, why his parents wouldn’t let him go home, that was the most innocent secret on the face of the planet. “this… this should never have happened to you.” 

“ i don’t know, i’m scared that because of this he’s g-gonna end up in trouble, wherever he might be.” it wasn’t something he could just ignore for the sake of ignoring, especially when they all knew the person behind the blog had connections, and very important ones. it was frightening to think nothing was safe anymore, even beyond the definitely questionable ‘accidental murders’ and abandoning he’s seen being exposed one after another, falling down like domino pieces and all for the sick enjoyment of some bastard who willingly wasn’t understanding how things sometimes needed to remain a secret for the greater good.

and he knew the police now was going to question him, that this was going to fuck himself and his brother up, because he knew it would arrive to his parents, and that they wouldn’t be happy. at all.

When the notification sprung up on his phone, intrusive and imposing and red, he could feel himself start to sweat. Things were getting tight now. Not that this game they were all unwilling losers of had ever been particularly fun.

Oz still found the harrowing concept that one of his fellow students was responsible for all of this – planting bullets and carving into students right under the police department’s nose, right under his – almost impossible to digest.

He felt just as useless, as guideless, as he assumed the police were.

There was a specific agenda for tonight, first to find Inseong (and hope there weren’t too many pieces to pick up), and then Vitoria.

“Why would I be mad at you? No.”

At this point, Oz had gotten exponentially better at consoling a crying friend. “Inseong,” His voice was level, now, reaching out to place his hands on the man’s shoulders. He craned his neck so that he could make sure to catch Inseong’s gaze, “I’m not mad at you. Not at all. I promise.” The only story his eyes told was one of pain from seeing a friend distraught (an old friend, one who he felt particularly protective of… Inseong felt so… fragile sometimes). Maybe, if Inseong was less upset, he might notice the hint of Oz’s own panic. He was in no way going to belittle Inseong’s stress, but he couldn’t help the little voice in the back of his mind that he was glad this was Inseong’s secret. Something… a little lighter than some of the others.

Something lighter, far lighter, than Oz’s. Would Inseong be this understanding with him? The answer was most likely not. But the last thing Oz needed now as to worry about scaring the few people he had left away.

“You know you can always come to me for help if you need it. For funds…” He paused, “…We don’t have to talk about your parents if you don’t want to.”

the stress was evidently taking a toll on them, and inseong would wonder, ever so innocently, when oz would be breaking down, how oz managed to just be this stark and patient, this much of a stronghold ━total opposite of himself whose too soft heart is always falling apart at the first blow, who’s always shedding tears over the smallest and biggest of things.

but the regret wasn’t going to go, no matter how much he’d see and feel oz being comforting and understanding ━it was a thing now cemented in him after years of being educated in that way, it was apart of that growing anxiety churning his insides whenever things wouldn’t be as static and clear as a metronome. and the fact he just got exposed wasn’t surely helping him seeing things under a much calmer perspective, or a positive one ━he still felt like he should be hiding away in shame, locked somewhere for stealing his parents’ money bit to bit in order to find anything about a brother he wanted to reconnect with... god, his parents. they were definitely going to kill him the moment they’d return to ashmont and learn what’s been going on in the last weeks.

the mere thought of it made his blood become even more like ice in his veins.

it came instinctive to him to hold onto oz’s hands, reaching for them as they were resting on his shoulders, finding so hard to meet the other’s eyes without feeling himself like a gross pile of shit. “ i’m... i’m scared. what if t-this hurts my brother, i don’t━i don’t want anything to happen to him, wh-wherever he might be. ” the thought of the other getting involved in this whole mess of a situation ━and all because he was daisey rutherford’s childhood friend, because he confided to a dear friend his intentions weeks before her death━ devoured him inside. “ i don’t want t-to beg for money, but now i’ll have to f-find another way to look for him. i a-appreciate a lot what you’re s-saying and doing, oz. i really do. ”