You know what they say, "cold hands, warm heart."

Wait what’s wrong with the raspberry? Is it broken?

This is the most British complaint I have ever seen.

interested to see how 2016 will get worse from here

it’s been two weeks since i made this post and idk where to begin

a cat: *touches me with its small hand* me: *eyes tearing up* thank you

i was driving and was in the left lane waiting for the light to turn green and i’m not exaggerating when i say the person behind me honked the second the light turned green…and i’m like….im not in the mood…….so i put my brake on and let them honk and honk until the light turned red again. it took like 5min for it to turn green and the person honked for 2min of it then stopped.   when it turned green again they were silent and i was like :) that’s what i thought. time isn’t real and i have no problem wasting someone else’s

i have no concept of what is too much affection or too little affection like it constantly feels like i’m somehow simultaneously doing both too much and not enough with every single person i come into contact with and that’s a real party

do i even have a sense of humour anymore or do i just laugh at badly worded sentences

someone: hey are you okay me with no hesitation: *starts crying*