my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

nsfw = nosfewatu

breaking news cat just did a little meow and rolled over a bit

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

one hundred and seventy dollars

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

dracula after bdsm (bat dracula sex monster): and now i vill perform the afterscare

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”