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we act like this site is full of weirdos but actually most of us are basic bitches. 90% of you went with cheetahs, bears, crows, raccoons, hyenas etc

though i was surprised at how quickly moose became a frontrunner

none of you can follow instructions, i specifically said explain your reasoning

the exception being the many, many people who want to weaponize a swarm of ants/termites/wasps/insects with which to attack their enemies. (also bats and crows, for similar purposes.) where are you people getting all these enemies that need swarming. this is not an ethical use of swarms. swarms have rights. commit your own violence

the one wrong answer was the person who said canadian geese, as if they wouldn't turn on us in a hot minute. Jurassic Park situation in the making. they would unionize and start carpet-bombing jet engines on purpose. would bring commercial air travel to its knees overnight. do NOT teach geese new skills, so help me

shout out to that one person who said wolves. buddy i have some fantastic news

a lot of you just want to ride a crocodile/alligator. i worry this would not be comfortable for the crocodile/gator in question. that being said i would love to rub a crocodile's tummy

in conclusion, i would domesticate octopodes and train them to install & perform maintenance on underwater communications cables. also general underwater welding. they have the intelligence to perform complex tasks and honestly i think they'd enjoy it. i would also deploy an elite octopus fleet to sabotage oil rigs.