Absolutely Vile

I love that the only thing that slows it down is being too fucking tiny to make the teeter totter tilt the other way.

The youth are lost

For extra comedy, there’s the recent TikTok of someone asking “What’s a word you pronounced incorrectly one time and it still haunts you to this day?” Justin Timberlake himself replies with “Me.”

Everclear is what we have instead of universal healthcare.

Wound cleaner, anaesthetic, surgical instrument sterilizer, and post-surgical cleanup, all in one convenient bottle

Imagine being the last owner of Hanako, that 226 year old Japanese koi that was spawned in 1751 and died in 1977. A fish that outlived 7 emperors. A fish that survived the Second World War. And she dies in your care. I would never recover.

I would find peace in that she felt comfortable enough to finally rest in my company. Fish remember faces and voices of their caretakers. Perhaps she loved the last too much to watch them die before her, too.

UM GUYS. I JUST NOTICED A CRAZY ISSUE W THE TUMBLR UPDATE.

So if you have anon hate in your inbox that looks like it's attributed to your dear friend, who sends you lovely asks all the time, it was Not them.

"it's time to surface, (unintelligible, possibly "back to people), the vacation is over. oh blyat, a grenade. what sort of moron keeps the...-boom-"

POV you’re Wile E Coyote

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”

He will be recycled soon inshallah

wawawawawawa. Very nice noises