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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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oozey mess
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Today's Document

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@cozyjorts
Customer: DISPICABLE DMV: DISPICABLE Verdict: ACCEPTED

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Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland
this is why commas are so
important 🤓
Where do you think the comma goes
i drink soda i eat pizza
actually insane to me that tumblr is a place where you can be so good at being horny you make friends about it
The ultimate spell:
Just fucking talk to them.
I know we all have anxiety on this website and that's why we're here. But if you can't talk to a person, both casually and when there's a problem, you're just fucking things up in the long run for a relationship (of literally ANY sort) with them.
And yes, it does go both ways, they should be able to talk to you too.
Talk. To. Them.
You'll feel so much better afterwards.
And yes, it does go
both ways, they should be able
to talk to you too.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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and now that i’m officially moved out: fuck maryland, the state flag is ugly and the mass obsession with it is cringe as hell. rally behind something else why don’t you.
I looked up the flag, why does it look like a warning sign for radiation and a children's hospital had a kid
and when i tell you it’s on Everything.
license plates. shorts. towels. kitchen utensils. koozies. socks. shirts. magnets. bottle openers. planes. bags. nothing is safe from the maryland state flag.
like why.
yes, India made legal gender change impossible but the doctor down the street who gives me my T shots in a clinic so small that it's just two rooms was excited for me when she said my voice had dropped yes, India made legal gender change impossible but the receptionist who could see that I was a man didn't bat an eyelash when I asked to see the gynecologist and called me sir when he asked how I wanted to pay yes, India made legal gender change impossible but the barber cuts my hair exactly how I want it and never gave me strange looks for being in a men's salon not even back when I didn't pass as one
yes, India made legal gender change impossible but my friends have always gendered me correctly and stick to it even when it confuses other people and my friend's little sibling calls me older brother in Kannada yes, India made legal gender change impossible but my dog learned my new name quicker than the humans and she runs to give me a kiss when she's told to without being confused about who's being referred to
yes, India made legal gender change impossible but I can feel the Adam's apple growing in my throat and my muscles getting stronger, and my smile more real and I'm growing a beard, and I talk more freely
yes, India made legal gender change impossible but I'm here, and I'm alive, and so are you and there are good people, people who care and don't let them make you forget that-- you are not alone.
t4c is really common in fanart, and im okay with that as long as everyone understands that it just is not possible in real life
I really love the old Minus comic where two people try to make a perfect wish for the reality-bending child to grant, and instead of granting the wish she gets bored with the legalese of a perfectly worded wish and does something completely different instead
I think this should absolutely be a rule for wish granters in more fictions. If you try to rules-lawyer a genie they should be able to screw you over anyways for being a nerd. “I thought of the best way to word this specific wish so I don’t get karmic recompense” your perfectly worded wish bored her so she’s not going to even dignify it with a response. She’s using the text of your wish to make paper doll chains
For anyone who has not read minus go read minus. It is charming and creative and some of those strips will fuck you up (positive). Also very short comics-wise, and complete.
Part 1 of the minus! series on Kiwis by Beat!
[ID: a tweet by @/ajanwachuku that reads: “I hate when my side hustle (my job) gets in the way of my main hustle (dilly dallying)”. end ID.]

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When I was at the natural history museum, the fossil section had stickers on the glass to engage children - things like "Flap your arms like a pterodactyl" or "Measure your hand against the mosasaurus." However the first of these I encountered, which I found alarming and threatening without context, was a sticker reading "Struggle like you are stuck in a tar pit"
Have you seen Adam is Eve (1954)?
Yes
No
I've never heard of this film
Final result: the majority of voters have NEVER HEARD OF this film.
This film is a comedy about a man who suddenly becomes a woman and chooses to run away and become a cabaret dancer rather than tell their family. It is based on the novel of the same name by Francis Didelot. It was the first trans film made in France.
It is available on YouTube, both with and without English subtitles. (Heads up I could only find it under the French title.)
*ignores you and pursues my rituals*
[image text: “Clytaemnestra ignores them and pursues her rituals; they assemble for the opening chorus.” end text ID]
good morning exclusively to the atlantic’s science editor, or whoever it is that titles their animal biology articles
fellas, they’ve done it again
me, weeping openly: potato
DEFECTOR HAS TAKEN UP THE MANTLE
Paulo Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed explains how/why this cycle of oppressed becoming oppressor occurs

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anthony fantano acting like an arbiter of culture is so funny because the biggest impact he has had on my life was that one comment on his fetch the bolt cutters review calling him a misogynist
i would honestly call this lifechanging like i became a more honest writer after reading this because i realized i didn't have to care about men's reviews. she said the word rape and you were scared!!
you guys piss me off i hate you all
graphic by @forrestbrine