Beware the Cat

Children. If you don't listen to nothing else I say, listen to this: Hit them. Hit them right in the mouth. You might still cry, but you'll feel good that you didn't *just* cry. It's always okay to hit a racist. Every time.

do NOT separate them

let’s be a plush with baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby and baby

if you say anything homophobic in June this truck comes out of nowhere and crushes you like that bus crushed Regina George

it’s optimus pride

I am OBSESSED with people telling me how they met the love of their life. Just found out my director met his wife through a misdirected email - that’s fate right there.

“I asked if we could meet for coffee, told her I was looking for volunteer opportunities — which was halfway a lie — and she said ‘okay, but just so you know I have a boyfriend, so this is strictly business,’ and I was so disappointed, but I did want to meet her. We sat in that coffeeshop until they turned the lights out on us, and she broke up with her boyfriend the next day.”

you will describe tummy/waist fat as a "muffin top" (yummy treat?) and "love handles" (most romantic phrase ever?) and mean it in a derogatory way? when these things are obviously good?

That’s going to be expensive!

Bi girls dating bi guys culture

we need to have a conversation about how the "everyone is 12" theory of politics now doesn't only apply to conservative men who want to kick the bad guys' asses and then go home and eat a steak their bangmommy made just for them (NO VEGGIES!!!) but also to adult women who are literally afraid of other people having sex and being sexy. it's like there's been this massive regression among women in their 20s where we've gotten rid of feminism and replaced it with a new form of purity politics that requires never saying anything bad about another women unless you find a new and creative way to call her a whore. the misuse of "she caters to the male gaze" as a new form of enlightened slut shaming, labeling any woman who wears a short skirt or has sex with a man as "not a girls' girl" and "a pick me," the intense overreaction to celebrity affairs or even just shit like the summer house mess where a woman is now dating another woman's ex even though there was no overlap and the "relationship" was just kind of a situationship that fizzled but now these little girls are online demanding both people involved in the new relationship lose their jobs and not get any brand deals, the panic over mildly sexual content in literally any capacity like ads or an instagram post in a crop top, the compulsion to link everything back to the epstein files, the monthly meltdown over sex scenes on tv and in movies. everyone is 12 and AFRAID of sabrina carpenter.