arms so itchy..

me being like, ‘this is a pussy out look’ except it’s completley normie clothing other than the fact that there’s maybe more than two colors involved. except this isn’t clothing it’s my whole me and need to explain or excuse anything i do even if it’s only mentally (for a sustained period of time)

oh no smells

general like basic reading abt ocd always is like, okay this is supremely unrelatable, but then there’s more overarching explanations like “The disorders are thought to lie on a spectrum from impulsive to compulsive where impulsivity is said to persist due to deficits in the ability to inhibit repetitive behavior with known negative consequences, while compulsivity persists as a consequence of deficits in recognizing completion of tasks” which just kind of, ohhhhhh okay well that makes sense. still not ‘real’ or w/e but like. hmm.

really fuckin blows how academia n skewl feed into whatever crazy loops i have and exacerbate various problems (tm) and are corrupt and broken in their foundation while also being stupidly appealing to my dumbass heart and yearnings etc etc etc

listening to thecon.mp3 like oh no all my emotions are locked away bc im not in school in any real way or tied to academia at all atm whoops

philosophy be like, lets use words to determine the exact nature of being and existence even tho it all fake

wow to be awake when the sun is awake !