videogame girlfriend

Sometimes our household budget leaves me a little late to the table as new videogames go, but it’s a blessing in some ways as it gives me time to hear what the rest of the world has to say on the whole and then decide what I want to spend my not so ample money on. Bioshock Infinite was one of those games I was excited for years in the making. After being absolutely blown away by the masterpiece that was the original Bioshock, I couldn't wait to see what was next. After seeing the first few trailers, I was enticed by the breathtaking new setting, but curious what all of this really had to do with the original Bioshock. With such a different landscape and different character dynamics, I wondered why a new game “from the creators of Bioshock” wouldn’t suffice. The continued franchise trap is something that I find endlessly frustrating, slapping a famous title on something new might help sell copies, but it comes at a price. Along with a famous title comes expectations that can place unnecessary limits to a new story that might have otherwise been able to blossom into it's own unique experience. Because of it's title, Bioshock Infinite failed to become an extension of the Bioshock universe or it's own unique story, instead it ended up as an overextended mash-up of the two. 

    In the tradition of the original Bioshock and System Shock games, we are immersed in a world that is meant to be understood by exploration. As we enter Columbia for the first time, it’s impossible not to be overwhelmed by the richness of the world around us. Every pixel encourages discovery and incites many questions we can’t wait to find the answers to. The environment is so immersive that it teaches us everything we need to know about the world; politics, religion, lifestyle.  It even teaches us the mechanics of the game organically with it’s masterful implementation of carnival games highlighting the different guns and special powers. This high caliber environment is what we’ve come to expect from the mastermind that is Ken Levine. Not a word of dialogue is needed, but in Bioshock Infinite they can’t seem to keep their mouths shut, and that’s where things started going wrong.

Right off the bat I found Booker’s dialogue trite and unnecessary, and it only got worse when the interactions with Elizabeth began. Having a silent hero has always been an incredibly powerful way for me to experience a game, and stripping that away was a huge loss in my opinion. Not that Troy Baker isn’t an incredible voice talent.  In The Last of Us (a game where I had similarly high expectations going in) the interactions between Joel and Ellie are what gave the game meaning, but almost every interaction between Booker and Elizabeth seemed forced and devoid of any real connection. To me, a game world should support the story, not the other way around and that is not the case in Bioshock Infininte. All of the pieces were there to support an amazing story, but as the story progressing the characters all become cardboard cutouts of what they could have been. For instance, when Elizabeth realizes who her parents are while standing in a museum exhibit about them, I expected a meaningful and thoughtful reaction, but instead we get a few painfully obvious lines of dialogue followed by a joke about wanting a puppy.

As someone who is enthralled to see a female character without her boobs out, (although her boobs are out a little bit at the end) I can’t say that Elizabeth is a terrible character overall, but she was most certainly not the strong, real character I had been lead to believe she was by the strong fan reactions. The best I can say about her is she’s fine, but for a character in such an extraordinary situation who has time-bending super powers, she is not near the nuanced woman she could have been. It was nice that they threw in a game note that, "Elizabeth can take care of herself in combat," but that alone doesn't make her strong. I appreciate that she goes through some self discovery, but it was all missing the heart it needed to make her real to me. I wanted to love her, I really did, and it pains me deeply that a story that is told so well through visuals is tainted by the lack of care paid to the characters and the words they say.

As the story continued, I keep my hopes high that things would fall into place and there was still a chance I would end up loving the game the way I wanted to. Instead I found myself becoming more and more overwhelmed and annoyed at how chock full of unnecessary stuff that got jammed into the game. Down to the way a very noticeable graphic pops up every single time you pick up health, everything in this game overdoes it. I love the powers, the guns are fine, the clothing items are neat, the hook is cool, and Elizabeth’s weird time bending power is interesting, but overall it becomes WAY too much to juggle all at once. All of these elements are polished and impressive ideas, but if they had been spread out over the course of multiple games I think they could have been put to such better use. Perhaps if we'd had only the hook and the special powers it would have made for more interesting and challenging gameplay. Or if a co-op option let you split these up between two people. Give player two some salts as Elizabeth, spread it around a little bit. Just save some of your ideas for the next game...please.

Continuing on my rant about the crazy amount of things jammed into this game, there were so many fascinating themes that were touched on that could have given this game some real depth if they had been paired down a bit. I had high hopes for a smart, well thought-out commentary on racism, American history, man’s exploitation of science, and all the seeds were sown but  the game robbed itself of all of that with it's open-ended, cop out of an ending. When everything is explained in an explosion of endless possibilities, nothing truly comes to fruition and it all amounts to nothing. I had so many more questions that could have had spectacularly fucked up answers. I wanted to find out the bigger story behind so many things that were planted. I wanted to know where the salts came from (my theory was they were drained from Elizabeth's body.) I wanted real American history to be re-explained in some crazy fucked up way. I wanted the stupid song they randomly decided to sing in the middle of the game to come back and mean something when they have to call the bird for help (and for the bird to have some deeper meaning that was actually explained in a satisfactory way.) I wanted to find out why there was a tear to the 80s. I wanted a real connection to be made to Rapture. There we so many other fascinating threads I wanted to follow to the very end, but it all just became a frayed mess never to be untangled.

I figured it was time I should post the poem I contributed to the "It’s Just a Game" zine. Although the print versions are sold out, you can still get digital copies of both volumes here.

Warning: If you have not played Final Fantasy VII yet and plan to, and you have managed up until now not to find out the big spoiler, please don’t continue reading.

I somehow had managed to live 23 years without finding out so I want to protect those who don’t know, although I often wonder if I had gotten it spoiled for me, if it would have been easier for me to deal with.

After the “incident” occurred, I cried my eyes out and never played the game again. Many people who I’ve talked to about this have told me I am ridiculous, and maybe there is some truth in that, but I dare anyone to question the power of games as a storytelling medium after suffering this loss themselves.

I wanted to tell my story of losing Aeris in a way that did justice to how deeply I was hurt when I was playing the game. I haven’t written a poem since high school but I felt like it was the best way to express the 32-bit hole that this game left in my heart.

    As someone who critiques things like it’s their job, it’s not very often I experience a piece of media that leaves me speechless. Videogames are still a very young art form, and I feel as if it’s going to take many more years of figuring things out before more than a few mature works can even begin to exist in the mainstream, but The Last of Us is an incredible step in the right direction. It’s hard to believe that the same company that less than 10 years ago was making a weird orange bandicoot run away from boulders, would be able to leave in me a complete state of awe and contemplation after finishing one of their games. (Note: many spoilers ahead)

     Obviously there were some stepping stones to get to this point, the most notable of which came in the form of three incredibly entertaining and cinematic games in the tradition of the good kind of blockbuster action/adventure movies. This was a smart formula, and I absolutely acknowledge the importance of the Uncharted series. They made great strides in lessening the gap between two mediums, and was undeniably entertaining and fun, but it didn’t exactly shake me to my core artistically. I’ve heard a few great thinkers in the games industry comment on how we need to stop comparing games with movies, and although I do think it can be a hindrance, I believe that Naughty Dog’s formula has so far been a very successful one. When we examine the best way for games to tell a story however, I think what it comes down to is a question of choice.

THE GAME

      I’m from Pittsburgh, the zombie capital of the world, (also featured in The Last of Us in all it’s yellow bridged glory) so I’m all for a good tale of death and infection, but for anyone who has any brains left uneaten, I think it’s easy to admit that the zombie trend has gotten a bit out of hand. Back when I saw the original trailer and demos for this, I was intrigued, but not enough so that I was about to run out on launch day and pick up a copy. The addition of a young girl as a sidekick made me moderately excited, but I had my doubts about her actual role in the story and made the assumption that she was just a tagalong/obstacle for the same kind of generic dude to protect through the same old zombie survival story. I’m happy to admit I was proved wrong. Luckily, a friend was willing to lend it to Ryan and I, and we were somehow able to keep from getting the ending spoiled for us. Now I will admit, I did not actually play this one (as I seriously lack the hand-eye coordination and patience to get through this type of game) but took on a very Ellie-like role of providing backup and a careful eye for arrows sticking out of decomposing corpses.

     From the first few minutes of the game, it was obvious that Joel’s daughter was going to die. Not to undermine the pain of losing her in such a horrific way, at the hands of a human soldier no less, but she’s not on the box, so it was safe to assume she wouldn’t be coming with us. One of the things I find fascinating about this game is how right from the get go, everyone is the enemy. Humans, infected, soldiers, dogs, they all just become obstacles you are forced to take down to continue on your journey, there is no choice involved. Sure, you can sneak past Clickers and some of the other enemies, but it’s not like you’re doing it out pity, necessity is your motivator, plain and simple. Because the game puts you in such an extreme state of distrust and constant fear of everything and everyone, I often found myself guessing what was about to happen, especially when it came to encountering new characters, and even though I was often correct in my horrible assumptions, the predictability never took away from the drama of each experience, and I never could have guessed the ending would unfold exactly how it did.

THE GIRL

     As someone with an ever critical eye about the representation of women in videogames, I have to take some time to talk about Ellie. At first I thought it was fine to have it her around, but it took a large portion of the game before she really begins to serve her purpose and come into her own, and that’s not a complaint. The way that Naughty Dog chose to wait until the last third of the game to have you actually play as Ellie was a smart choice in my opinion. It comes as a refreshing shock to suddenly become Ellie after Joel’s accident.

     Not knowing if he’s alive or dead, she stalks a deer through a pristine, snow covered field with her bow and arrow. The switch of characters invokes a renewed sense of the struggle for survival as this young girl fights for her life. Although it is easy to assume she will be weaker and more helpless than the character you’re used to playing, after a few minutes as Ellie we see how fierce she has grown. She is just as capable a survivor as Joel, and has her own unique strengths. The game fulfills their male lead quota to satisfaction, and thrust you into a new experience that I don’t think anyone who played the game up until this point could complain about, no matter what their stance on female game characters.

     The bond the player forms with Ellie before stepping into her shoes is undeniable, which is what makes her such a milestone character as far as female game protagonists go. Nothing is presupposed about her ability as a hero or a survivor, it is earned through action, which makes her strength as a stand alone character undeniable. After having the opportunity to play as Ellie, switching back to Joel felt like both a relief and a disappointment. I think the way the gameplay is divided between the two characters through the end of the game is a fascinating device to show who is really in control. Ellie’s struggle propels her into violence and adulthood, but the demands of surviving turn her into something she is not prepared to become, and so she must retreat within herself, and the control returns to Joel.

THE ART

     Zombie stuff being all the rage generally lends itself to a pretty standard visual style of gloomy, grey and bloody, which serves it’s purpose in setting a dire mood, but The Last of Us does not follow in that tradition. Borrowing from some of the beautiful, full color landscapes of the Uncharted series, most of this world is in full scale color. The juxtaposition of the dire state of the world with the greenery and butterflies all around is an extremely powerful metaphor for what the game wants to tell us.

     There are moments where we are forced to slow down and soak in our surroundings, usually while the characters have some kind of meaningful conversation. We are literally made to stops and smell the flowers (or the rotting corpses, whichever is readily on hand.) Ellie’s innocence and wonder for seeing the world around her for the first time, and Joel’s renewed sense of kinship and fatherhood becomes something beautiful despite their bleak situation, and then watching them discover the horror and the wonder of the world around them is a fascinating journey to take. Though all the trials they face, the beauty of their bond is what helps them survive. And how about those giraffes? Even Fellini would have liked that part.

THE END

     In the end, when Joel chooses their relationship over saving the human race, it’s difficult to say with certainty whether it feels completely wrong, but the game gives you no choice but to play along.  After finally finding the fireflys, and discovering that against all odds, your journey was as important to the fate of the world as Elle had hoped, it’s hard to feel like you are doing the right thing as you gun them all down, but you don’t have the choice to stop. The awkward balance of the actual gameplay being at it’s most difficult and the stress of just wanting to see what happens was a bit of a disconnect at the climax of the game. We assume we are fighting towards the painful death of one or both of the characters as we plowed through throngs of soldiers (the least fun enemies to fight in the game) dying again and again. One such unsuccessful attempt resulted in Joel being shot to death after grabbing Ellie, which we thought was the actual ending of the game until it reloaded and allowed us to try again. By not having us actually deal the final gunshot, it reinforces the power of the game as the storytelling agent. We once and for all hand off any sense of control and put fate into the hands of the game, but it’s almost a relief not to take on the responsibility of our actions.

    After the dust clears, we find ourselves back on the road, once again playing as Ellie. Joel makes a trying gesture by sharing some anecdotes about his daughter and how he thinks she and Ellie would have been good friends.  It feels strange. We feel as detached, confused, and wonder what could possibly be left of the game. In one last attempt to have some semblance of understanding or control over her own fate, she speaks out to question Joel. Although I’m sure she knows the truth, she recognizes that the choice has already been made for her and there is nothing more she can do, so she resigns to his lie. Ellie did not get to make her own choice and neither did we, and that’s what The Last of Us leaves us with.

     Most videogames set us on a quest where we get to be a hero who saves the world. The Last of Us forces us to make a different kind of choice altogether. It’s easy to think that the moral of the story is that humans are selfish, horrible monsters only trying to look out for themselves, but I think it’s hard to not be bit a little bit happy that Ellie does live. I think what we are really left with is that nothing is all that black or white, it leaves us feeling uneasy, but not in the least bit unsatisfied. The choice to end the game this way was an incredibly bold one, and I think an important step in the development of videogames as a legitimate storytelling medium.

Hey guys, 

Just another heads up that i will be at Pax Prime this weekend doing interview for the GTFO documentary. If you'll be there and want to talk to us about gender and videogames we'd love to hear from you, whether what you have to say is positive or negative! Please feel free to reach out to me on here or at my email: [email protected]

I am also hoping to check out some after parties and such so if you know of anything or want to invite me do that too!

(I will not be cosplaying sadly but come and say hi if you see me waltzing around with my camera in hand!)

*this is a repost from my other more general entertainment blog anal reading. Even though it's not videogame oriented, i hope you'll enjoy!

Orange is the New Black is a show about many things, prison stereotypes, lesbian sex, NPR, long distance relationships, but more than anything it’s a show about women, and that’s a rarer thing these days than we’d like to admit. Beneath the nudity and topical references, this show comments on what a woman’s place is in the world today, and questions how much control she has over her own destiny. Some of these women landed themselves in jail through their own intentional disregard of the law, some by accident, and others by boldly living by their own codes no matter what the cost. At the end of the day, Orange is the New Black is a portrait of the literal and metaphorical factors that make modern women feel trapped, and the drastic measures one might try to set herself free again.

Although at times a bit uneven, the genius of this show is baked right into the premise. Women are brutal. We understand how to push each other’s buttons and get under each other’s skins. So it stands to reason that when you put a bunch of women in a cage with nothing at stake but their identity, the mind games and complicated relationships are all that you’re left with. And by god does it make for good TV.

The way the setting of the prison strips the concept of what it is to be a woman today down to the bone is really resonating with people in a way other shows (even those featuring female protagonists) cannot do. If we look at some of the most acclaimed strong female characters in today’s TV world through the lens of the Bechdel test (which asks whether a work of fiction features a conversation between two women not talking about a man,) we wouldn’t get very favorable results. However, Orange is the New Black has some advantages backed right into the premise that forcefully expand on the topics our female characters are talking to each other about. Gender is always omnipresent, making us constantly focused on the idea of how the nuances of one’s sex and sexuality play into every interaction. When male characters are featured in Orange is the New Black, it’s often in a way that at least rouses some interesting questions about the male to female dynamic. The way the male prison workers choose to wield their power in mostly feeble attempts to try to control the female prisoners creates a fascinating juxtaposition. We are constantly slapped in the face with how powerless they are in their current situation, but at the same time they seem larger than life. The way that Red has used her alpha personality to make the kitchen her own little empire and gain power even beyond the inner sanctum of prisoners, but still has to sit back and do nothing when one of the guards decides to take a piss in her carefully crafted thanksgiving gravy pot is enough to make you tear your hair out. We see nearly all these women as powerful in their own way, trapped by a system built to contain them in and outside of prison. It all nods at something much bigger.

Jenji Kohan is a fascinating voice emerging in today’s TV landscape, but I think she is still figuring out how to gain control of her voice. She has a lot of great characters and ideas that explode onto the screen in a somewhat untidy fashion. Like many people, I enjoyed the hell out of the first few seasons of Weeds, but the longevity of the show completely killed it. I am curious to see how Netflix decides to handle the quality vs. quantity conundrum of having a hit show on their hands. I really do hope they will take the high road and let the show run it’s course with dignity. The freedom to end a story in less than 8 seasons might be exactly what Kohan needs to reign in her characters in a way that can become a potent and complete story.

I’ve talked to many people about this show lately, and although most have raved about it overall, I’ve found some surprisingly conflicting opinions about certain characters, especially Piper, the show’s protagonist. Some people sympathize with her, others with her fiance. Some think of her as a strong hero, others as a horrible person. We are used to TV we can understand. Even when a tapestry of multi-dimensional characters is beautifully woven like in Mad Men or Game of Thrones, whether it was intentional or not, Orange is the New Black takes things in a new direction by showing us a world where things are not so straightforward. Each episode reveals to us, piece by piece, that no person can be taken at face value. Even the most despicable characters slowly become more human. The aforementioned horrible prison guard, “Pornstache” even becomes somewhat sympathetic when his misconstrued relationship with Daya cause him to rearrange his priorities, or when we begin to see the more complicated truth behind the seemingly deranged lesbian inmate known as “Crazy Eyes.”

Every small step helps us move towards a better environment for all gamers. Take a moment to add your name to those who want to see that change.