Listen to the land we all love

Periodic reminder that everybody who aided Trump's reelection should be miserable constantly and that no amount of pain or suffering is too much for them.

Would it be considered “gay” to go for a walk in the evening?

yes like obviously

it's called duckweed. one hit and you'll be lining up behind mom

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

i’m burning the candle at ends you’ve never heard of

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

oh this is my post

smoking the shit that turned the clock wise

gambling with angels is easy. they can't lie but they have addictive personalities; it's easy to clean them out then make them divulge secrets about the business of heaven to call your bets. my dad used to say "hey, watch this" and summon angels to play poker with him with a sort of bone flute he inherited from his grandpa, and they'd be holding horseshit and still want to call him. i'm talking "raise on a two pair" level bad at it, but they couldn't stop trying to win. my dad taught me all the secret names of God before i was out of grade school and i would use them to curse my enemies so they came down with leprosy. you can cure leprosy these days but it still sucks, especially for a child. but they had it coming for pissing me off

Quick while the astronauts are no-transmission behind the moon let’s arrange the continents into a funny shape

we remake Pangaea and make them think they went back in time.

Question 7: Assuming that the Roman Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation is correct, estimate how tall Christ our Lord must have been in order for His body to furnish all properly consecrated Communion wafers consumed to date. Justify your assumptions.

#ok but are we assuming average human density here or can we have a black hole jesus #will there be a noticeable gravitational effect from standing too close to our lord and savior #can i - and this is critical - can i be spaghettified by jesus (via @dreadful-puns-and-finger-guns)