if mangoes didn’t have the stone in the middle, humanity would reach a new level of hedonism. we could just eat thru the whole thing without having to think. we’d permanently regress to a primal state. the seed grounds us, makes us careful when we eat. this defines us. fuck i wish i had a mango

if u think im annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

We gazed upon the forbidden beans and were punished for it.

Omggg it’s the cutest~~~🐈

i just wanna be a pirate….tall leather boots……those fancy sleeves……swordfighting……..standing dramatically on a bowsprit or mast………….climbin some rigging………….getting rich and getting drunk w a crew…………..shooting a cannon……….the Dream

i just wanna be a pirate….tall leather boots……those fancy sleeves……swordfighting……..standing dramatically on a bowsprit or mast………….climbin some rigging………….getting rich and getting drunk w a crew…………..shooting a cannon……….the Dream

Oh my god i finally have a word for it….

There’s such enormous power in naming and understanding things, isn’t there 🙏

Oh shit

The tweet author also made this into an article, available here.

all I want in life is financial stability, consistent kinky sex, and good food.

I mean….yeah.

What other race can be high all the time and not get in trouble?

^^^^^

i just love that little secret all women share. i love that even when a man thinks he’s got a woman who worships the ground he walks on, when he thinks he has complete control, that he’s the ultimate voice of authority and that he shits gold, that woman will privately know he’s stupid. even if she never says it, she’ll know

womanhood is actually just an extended piece of performance art called “yes, mister, you are very smart”

now you males out there may be thinking “but barbie, if that were true then wouldn’t all women be oscar-worthy actresses?” the answer is no. we don’t actually need to be good at pretending. that’s how dumb y’all are.

you may also be thinking “well *I* can tell when a woman is just placating or patronizing me”. that is also false. if you can tell, it’s because she wants you to know she’s making fun of you.

Everything about this post is amazing