A briefcase filled with two dollar bills

gar field? that’s not where they’re supposed to be

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

"you understand" is a common phrase exchanged between perverts

And "this guy gets it" is how we recruit others into our ranks

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

this sucks im going to kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) the president of the United States. (end statement)

are bad (end for going health) im jokes kill mental my of president (remembers statement) States. sucks suicide the the this to United

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

transition timeline but about halfway through im inexplicably a cackling green witch for a few months before continuing as normal

June 15 is the anniversary of both the Night Vale and Gravity Falls pilots, as well as Vanessa Doofenshmirtz’s birthday and “give it up for day 15” day

happy birthday to the only things ever

And love händel reunion day and Linda and Lawrence’s anniversary

The most day ever

phineas and ferb heritage post

*trains your gender*

fuck wait I meant trans oh man

Too late, my gender is already doing all kinds of tricks

mini potatoes in garlic butter at 1am #winning

ⓘ Tip If you feel unfulfilled by how you spent your time today, you can stay up late to try to combat the sense of dissatisfaction. This will ensure that you feel even worse tomorrow.