cellmates before soulmates

letd go eat parts of that guys car

i like when i put a little emoticon at the end of my parentheticals (like this ^_^) because it turns it into a messageworm

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

It’s No Snakes Tuesday

It’s Yes Snakes Thursday

It’s Yes Snakes Friday

I miss the days when, no matter how slow your internet was, if you paused any video and let it buffer long enough, you could watch it uninterrupted

If you use Firefox, you can go to the about:config page, search for "media.mediasource.enabled" and double click on it to set it to false. After you restart Firefox, all youtube videos will load entirely even when paused! This also affects other streaming websites :)

We jailbreaking browsers now lmao

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

They weren’t lying when they said that as an adult you have to fight for your life to practice your hobbies

They also weren’t lying when they said that when you fail to do so your soul shrivels up inside your body and dies