If I had this man and some bum ass pirate tried to take him from me the movie would’ve been over in 10 minutes.

my neighbour's infant died. the parents suspect it's because they did what chatgpt told them to do when the baby had a seizure.

RYAN GOSLING as HOLLAND MARCH + ANGOURIE RICE as HOLLY MARCH

“Question?” Rocky says suddenly making Grace blink several times.

"What?"

“Grace not listening.”

"I was listening."

“False. Grace was staring at Grace’s mate.”

Your head immediately drops into your hands.

Rocky continues before either of you can recover.

“This is opposite of listening. Is something wrong with friend (y/n), question?”

"Oh my God," he mutters.

"Do not invoke deity. Answer question."

You are laughing so hard you nearly fall out of your chair.

Grace wishes, not for the first time, that alien spiders understood embarrassment. Unfortunately Rocky possesses the social subtlety of a sledgehammer.

“Grace stare often.” Rocky observes.

"I do not!” Grace attempts, rather futilely, to defend himself.

"False."

"You cannot just say false every time—"

"Can. Just did."