Do you have a masterlist ?
I do not! unfortunately I havent actually written enough here to make one.

oozey mess

@theartofmadeline

Origami Around
Claire Keane

Discoholic đŞŠ
Mike Driver

çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Love Begins
One Nice Bug Per Day

JVL

#extradirty
Three Goblin Art
Misplaced Lens Cap
Not today Justin
d e v o n


izzy's playlists!

JBB: An Artblog!
seen from United States

seen from Germany
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seen from TĂźrkiye
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seen from Hungary
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seen from France

seen from United States

seen from Indonesia

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@vellawrites
Do you have a masterlist ?
I do not! unfortunately I havent actually written enough here to make one.

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đś Raptors are better than people, Blue donât you think itâs true? Yeah, people will sell you and hunt you, extort you! Every one of themâs bad â except you. But people smell better than raptors. Blue, donât you think Iâm right? Thatâs once again true â for all except you. You got me. Letâs run for our lives đś
-Owen Grady probably if Jurassic World was Disney
( idk if this has been done before )
because I have to
We put up our 221B decal and now weâre getting daily letters from Sherlock. đ letâs solve some crimes!
I havenât reblogged that compliment ask game thatâs going around because Iâm deathly afraid no one will actually send me any. So if youâre doubting your own writing and whether people enjoy it, you arenât alone.
(Iâve had a handful of people tell me they love Our Bloody Pearl just this week and yet part of my mind is still convinced itâs all a lie.)
Your value as a writer is not dependent on what you think of your own writing at any given time.
Itâs not dependent on the negative feedback you cling to.
Itâs not dependent on your current mental health.
Itâs not dependent on your ability (or inability) to process and internalize positive feedback.
So if youâve looked for validation and didnât get it, or you got validation and it didnât feel like enough, or if you can even bring yourself to seek validation for fear you wonât receive any, then Iâm here to say:
â YOU ARE VALID AS A WRITER â
I hereby shun all your brain goblins to the abyss. Go forth and write and believe in yourself, or write despite your disbelief. This is your sign not to give up.
Me, cracking my knuckles compulsively every 15 minutes: Iâm here for a good time not a long time but tbh I expect neither

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something thatâs useful for me to remember, when writing, is that there is literally no other creative practice where you are expected to form a complete and final product as your first step. artists begin paintings with loose pencil sketches. musicians begin songs by finding a riff that works, or a chord progression, or a hooky lyric, and they build from there. thereâs an understanding that a creative project is something that is built in steps, over time, starting with simple pieces and adding more and more detail and complexity as time goes on. but writers are like, âugh, this draft is shit, iâm gonna have to do so much editingâ and the consoling counterpoint to that is, âfirst drafts are always shit, haha, i had to write 1.5 zillion drafts of this novel before i was happy with it.â but like. what if. shit first drafts are the point. i mean can you imagine a painter looking at a pencil sketch and weeping about how terrible it is and how thereâs no colour or shading or detail? your first draft is a sketch. you are sketching a book. as you keep refining that sketch, your book will get better. refining the sketch is the work.
first draft > edit > edit > final draft. shit first drafts arenât embarrassing preludes that you churn out until you finally produce something printable, they are necessary steps toward producing the printable thing.
<<but writers are like, âugh, this draft is shit, iâm gonna have to do so much editingâ and the consoling counterpoint to that is, âfirst drafts are always shit, haha, i had to write 1.5 zillion drafts of this novel before i was happy with it.â>>
^^^tHiS
Tbh Iâve always wondered why we do this to ourselves. Why do we tear ourselves to pieces like this? At least weâve PRODUCED something. But even if weâre proud of it, someone will always come along to tell you NOT to be. We tear ourselves down, and others tear us down, too.
Be proud, writers. If you produce, itâs amazing. Good for you. â¤ď¸
If I have any Muslim followers:
I hope youâre safe, i hope you feel safe soon, I wish this people full of hatred didnât exist but unfortunately they do, but at least I hope this is the last of these pointless racist attacks, I love you and you can count on me for anything
Itâs that time of year again #shittyart
I sleep talk a lot. Hereâs some of the shit Iâve said when I was waking up
âKirby would be great on Game of Thrones. He has no neck to slitâ
âPirates should not be given 3D printers. Oh my god.â
âSnow White must have washed a shit ton of socks.â
âGo away babe, I gotta sort this sushi by the dewey decimal system.â
âFuck fuck fuck someone grab my toes theyâre flying away.â

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 #Dramione is officially canon
One Night || Sherlock x Reader (smut below cut)
He showed up minutes to noon.
Youâd been up late studying, pouring over textbook after textbook that youâd been too tired to bother putting away when you finally crawled into your bed in the young hours of the morning. Your flat was as cluttered as it had ever been with a disarray of notes occupying every surface the eye could see and beside your open laptop, a cold cup of tea sat forgotten amidst the middle of it all, half empty with a shallow ring forming on the wood beneath it.
Your eyes were slow to open at the sound of the incessant knocking on your front door and you stretched with a groan, your half asleep mind fumbling to remember if you were expecting company then. The knocking grew louder, faster, and only after determining that the visitor was definitely not going to stop did you throw your legs over the side, the wood cool cool beneath your feet.
You didnât bother to move a single hair, despite how atrocious your bedhead surely was, and your eyes fought against every instinct to fall back shut and crawl back into your bed as you stumbled to the front door. Whoever it was had the indecency to wake you from your near-coma and as punishment, they would be forced to endure your unkempt state and most likely harrowing morning breath.
You had barely unlocked the bolts when the door flung open, nearly knocking right into you, and the tall dark blur of the consulting detective swept past you into your flat.
âY/N, you wonât believe what I saw on my way here.â
You blinked at him, your mind suddenly on as high alert as it could be, and you pushed the door shut behind you. Heâd yet to even spare a glance in your direction as he rushed through the room like a storm, his hand running along every surface he passed until he plopped unceremoniously to the spot youâd occupied most of the night before. You watched him fumble with the teacup and he took a sip before promptly spitting it back out into the porcelain.
âGah, itâs cold.â
âYeah,â you rasped in a tone that called him out for stating the obvious. âItâs been out all night. Why would you just drink from random cups?â
âNot random,â he mumbled, âit was yours. And I love tea. Can we make tea?â
Your arms crossed as the cogs in your head started to turn. Leaning against the arm of your chair, you peered down at him as he begun to flip through the pages of your various textbooks with both hands, eyes flitting wildly from one page to the next as though he could absorb all the different passages simultaneously.
Though, this was Sherlock, so perhaps he could.
âSherlock, what are you doing?â
The question went ignored. Â
âThese are boring.â A look of disgust curled the edges of his lips as he moved on to the other open books spread out, finding nothing of interest in those either. âWhy are you reading these, Y/N? Theyâre so boring.â
âTheyâre for my classes, Sherlock.â
âYou already graduated,â he protested, at last turning those bright blue eyes your way. His brows furrowed. âThese arenât for forensics. Why are you studying anatomy now?â
âI enrolled in a nursing program.â
âWhy?â
âBecauseâbecause I needed a change.â
âChange is upsetting.â
You rolled your eyes at that. âIâm not surprised you would say that.â
âOh. Oh!â In an instant, he was at his feet once again, all but leaping over the coffee table to cross the room to you. His hands clamped onto your arms and he leaned in, like he often did when he had a breakthrough on one of his cases. âY/N, youâll never believe what I saw on my way here.â
âYou said that before. So what was it?â
âI was on my way over here and there was a car parked down near Mr. McGillisâs shopâyou know the one, with the knives and the clocks?â
âYes. You took me there two weeks ago on one of your cases.â
âYes! That one. Well youâll never believe it but the carâa dog was driving it!â
You cocked your head with a most perplexed expression, one eyebrow raised in disbeliefâand not because of his story, but rather the enthusiasm with which he was relaying it.
âI know! Isnât that the oddest thing?â He let out a burst of laughter and his eyes shined wildly. âWell, of course it wasnât really driving, but there were two dogs in the front seats and the small one had its paws up on the wheelâhere, I have a picture. You have to see!â As he fumbled to reach into his pocket for his mobile, his grip on your arms fell and you took a step away.
âSherlock.â
His hands abandoned his search and he looked at you once more, a stupid little smile that, in any other circumstance, would have been charming gracing his lips. âY/N.â
You held out your hand. âSherlock, give me your list.â
This time, it was he who looked at you in confusion. âMy list?â
âYes, Sherlock. Your list.â
Recognition hit and for a moment, he said nothing.
âI donât have it,â he lied.
âYes you do. You always do. Give it here.â
âNo.â
âNo?â
Like a petulant child, he crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his chin.
âIf you want it, you have to take it from me.â
You eyed him up and down, reading everything from his posture to his stubborn glare and letting out a resigned sigh, you took a step forward. Your hand slipped into his pocket.
âItâs not in there.â
You glanced at him. âThen whââ As your understanding took root, you drew back and glowered. âSherlock.â
âGo on, love. Take it.â
He was challenging you, his eyes glinting playfullyâdangerouslyâand he pulled the corner of his lip between his teeth with a smirk. You took another step forward as he lifted back the side of his coat and cautiously, as though you could be burned, your fingers slipped into the pressed pocket of his trousers, brushing the crumpled note hidden inside. Before you could pull away, his arms wrapped snugly around you and all but pinned your body against his own, chest and legs and hips pressed firmly together.
âYouâre so warm,â he groaned. âAre you always this warm when youâve just woken up?â
âSherlock, youâre crushing me.â
His arms loosened ever so slightly but he didnât let go and he didnât give you any space to escape from his embrace. It was enough, however, that you could pull your hand out from his pocket, clenching the crumpled paper between your fingers.
âMy god,â he groaned again, his deep voice rumbling against your form in a most confusing and pleasant way, âyou smell absolutely divine. How is it you always smell so delicious?â
His head dipped and you felt his nose bury into the skin of your neck, into your messy hair, and he hummed against you, sparking tiny shivers that wracked up and down your spine. You were nearly distracted enough to forget the entire purpose of standing so intimately close to him but with how oddly he was behaving, it didnât stray far from your thoughts. You unfolded the note and did your best to smooth it with the little dexterity your single hand would provide.
As you struggled to see the words from over his shoulder, your eyes widened.
âWhat the fuck, Sherlock? Ecstasy?â
âItâs fascinating. I canât believe Iâve never tried it before.â
âSherlock, why would you take ecstasy?â
For a man who so seldom felt any strong emotions and even rarer still wanted to feel them, it was a most peculiar whim and you found yourself at a loss for words.
âFor a case,â he mumbled. His face was still so close to yours, the tip of his nose drawing a delicate path along the line of your jaw. âThe victim was drugged at a nightclub and the assumption is that it was the dosage that killed her. Obviously I had to adjust it for my stature.â
In your younger years, you had become well acquainted with it while you were away at university. You were no stranger to its effects or the dizzying euphoria that it created, but seeing that high experienced through Sherlock was jarring and alien to say the very least. You read over the number written out beside the long pharmaceutical name and your eyes widened again.
âI canât believe you took this much. Jesus Christââ you tried to push away but his arms held you against him with alarming strength. âSo you, what, figured you would overdose to see if it would kill you?â
âNo,â he murmured so softly against your neck. âOn the contrary, Iâve never felt so alive. Do people feel like this all the time?â
âWhen theyâre high, yes. Thatâs what makes it so dangerous.â
âAnd appealing.â
It would have been impossible not to notice the way his firm hands began to slide across your back, fists curling and uncurling in the fabric of your sleep shirt as though it were an instrument he was all too eager to learn.
His breath fanned warmth against the shell of your ear as he gasped your name. âI feel so strange. And you feel so good.â
This was getting to be too much.
âThatâs the drugs talking, Sherlock.â
Your hands rose up between you and as they slid over the smooth fabric covering his chest, he let out a moan that once again left you shivering, unsure if it was your body reacting to the proximity of your situation or if it was a thousand tiny alarms setting off at the sound.
âFuck, it feels so good when you touch me.â
At that, you shoved him back with every ounce of strength in your body. He stumbled on his feet and looked at you in confusionâdare you say dejectionâand his lip pulled down into a pout.
âWhy did you do that?â
With the distance returned between you, you were able to clear your mind of the strange illusion heâd cast. Your hands fell to your hips, lips pulling into a most unpleasant scowl. âDamnit, Sherlock, how could you be so foolish?â
âPlease.â In an extravagant motion, he waved the pesky thought away and his eyes remained locked on your form, raking up and down over and over in a slow way that made you feel far more exposed than you were. âIâve done much worse than this.â
âYes, as though I need the reminder.â Your eyes clamped shut and you pinched the bridge of your nose.
What were you going to do with him? How long has it been since youâd had to deal with someone this high on this particular drugâhe might as well have taken Viagra with the way he was carrying about. You let out a sigh, mind searching everything youâd read about drug interactions since beginning your studies and everything you knew from before then, scrambling to remember if you had anything useful for the situation at hand.
You had nothing.
You couldnât think clearly.
Your eyes snapped open, suddenly, when his face was buried into your neck againâonly this time, his tongue lapped out, tracing a lazy pattern against your skin up to your ear and before you could properly prepare for it, his lips closed over the sensitive flesh of your lobe, nibbling and pulling and breathing in a way you neverânot in a million yearsâwould have expected from him.
âSherlock.â Your voice was needy, pleading, but whether you were pleading him to stop or to keep going, you hadnât the foggiest.
âYouâre so bloody soft,â he moaned against you. âSofter than velvet. I wonder if youâre this soft everywhere.â
His warm fingers squeezed your fleece-covered thigh, running up and down with enough force to bruise and his other hand had somehow snaked its way underneath your shirt in your momentary distraction, sliding up and up and up along your ribs until he could very nearlyâ
âSherlock Holmes, watch your hands!â
You all but jumped away from him, catching yourself on the edge of the chair to keep from falling backwards in the clumsiest way.
Focus. You needed to focus.
The man looked almost as dazed as you were sure you did and his lips were moist and red and if you werenât so utterly astounded, it would have turned you on like nothing ever had.
Okay, so it did that anywayâ
âIâd like to watch my hands touching every inch of you.â
Fuck.
When his lips stretched into a smirk once more, you almost lost it. You stepped around behind the chair and held your hand up, signaling him to stop before your hormones could cloud your judgement.
âSherlock, stop it. This isnât you and Iâm not going to take advantage of you when youâre high as a kite.â
He made that face againâthe one that relayed the depths of his confusion, looking a breath away from upset with his bright blue eyes as wide as could be.
âBut I want this.â
âNow you do. Tomorrow youâll regret it.â
âI promise you I wonât.â
He took a step closer, around the side of the chair you hid behind, and your feet mirrored his to keep distance between you.
âNo, Sherlock, please. Your not thinking straight. You need to go sleep this off.â
âSleep is the last thing I need right now.â His voice was the embodiment of pure sex. He took another step and so did you.
âThen go take a shower. I recommend a cold one.â
âIâd be more inclined if you joined me.â
The thought crawled into your mind and made a nest of its own and for a single moment, you thought your feet might betray every rational thought you had and take him up on the offer.
You couldnât let that happen.
You darted past him in a quick burst and plucked your purse from its spot beside the door.
âNo. IâI have to go to work. Iâll be late for my shift.â
Sherlock stared at you, expression unchanged. âNo, youâre lying. I may be âhigh as a kiteâ, as you put it, but I can still read you like an open book. Or openââ
âNope.â Your voice pitched and you shrugged your purse onto your shoulder. âNot lying. Gotta go.â Your hand twisted the knob. Without sparing a glance back at him, you called out to him over your shoulder. âThe towels are under the sink.â
You slammed the door shut behind you and lasted all the way to the stairwell before you fell back against the wall and let out a long-held groan.
What the hell was he doing to you?
Because itâs never wrong to have some hip thrusting-Owen Grady on their dash. *drools a bit*
Reblogging again because I canât stop staring at his crotch
A little non-fanfic related treat for you guys.
damn son
Never fails To make me laugh
I just canât stop it

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sometimes i really love my fics. i wrote that because i wanted to read it. i love it. nobody visits my fics more than me. they remind me that iâm a hard worker, that i created something. itâs mine and i cherish it and love it because itâs exactly what i wanted so i made it.
and other days iâm crippled by self criticism and hate everything and canât bear to look at my own work because i know itâll never compare to the greats
but i live for the days i love my work. because itâs mine, and i made it. i didnât wait for somebody else to make what i dream about. i went and did it myself.
so donât feel like your work is awful
itâs the stuff you dreamed about. itâs the stuff you decided to make a reality. itâs not about quality, or poetry, or how perfectly your sculpt your words or keep it so deeply in character; because itâs what you dreamed and itâs what you wanted to see, so you made it.
keep writing; itâs yours, and you made it. and if you want to continue to sharpen and improve yourself? then do it. itâs all yours and you can make it whatever you want.
keep writing.
THIS.
Sirius Black and the eleven times he fell in love with Marlene McKinnon // 11 of 11 //Â Â 1-5Â 6-10
11.
By the summer of 1981, their tasks for the Order of the Phoenix had driven all of them in completely separate directions.
James, Lily, and Harry were in hiding still and the looming threat of he-who-must-not-be-named was as stifling as ever. He still saw them at the Order headquarters, of course, but it was just never the same as it used to be. Aside from the ten minutes heâd been around a week or so earlier when theyâd all gathered for the photo that Dumbledore insisted would boost morale, Remus hadnât been heard from in weeks (or maybe it was months, it all felt the same at this point) and Sirius could count the times heâd seen Peter over the course of that year on a single hand. He saw the Prewett brothers more than he saw his own best friends these days and as he went from one job to another, there were familiar faces everywhere he lookedâbut never the ones he wanted to see. He was lonely, he was angry, and above all he could feel his mind slipping further and further into the darkness heâd tried for years to shield himself from as easily as anything heâd ever felt before.
But he had a solution; Sirius drank. He drank often and he drank a lot and if a day went by without a bottle in his hand, he wasnât sure whether to call it a good one or a bad one. Nights spent at the bar or nursing a bottle in his flat turned into mornings doing the same and those spilled further into long work days sipping coffee that was more rum than caffeine.
Those days, waking up hungover had become normal and waking up still drunk from the night before was almost as common which is why when Sirius woke up that particular morning with his head pounding like a chorus of bells, nothing seemed amiss. Except one thingâ
Marlene.
He stopped cold in his tracks and took in the sight of her sitting on the kitchen counter as if it had happened before, as if sheâd been there a dozen times and as if seeing her face was just another day in the life and it was just normal. It wasnât normal. He wondered if he was still drunk, maybe, but the pounding in his head assured him that was not the case but it had to be that because he couldnât think of any other reason heâd be seeing her in his flat.
But Merlin if she didnât look lovely right where she wasâher hair was longer than heâd ever seen it before with pretty fringe framing her face. She stripped back the peel of a banana, appearing not to have heard him yet though Sirius very much doubted that was the caseâhe wasnât a quiet man and his waking state wasnât any different.
His socks scraped loudly against the wood floor.
âYou know,â he laughed when she jumped at the sound of his voice, âif you wanted something to put in your mouth, I can find you something better than that.â
(He winced and not just at the shoddy pick up lineâhe sounded like heâd been gargling broken glass for most of the night.)
Marlene looked him over, from his long messy hair and outgrown stubble to the way his crumpled old joggers hung low on his hips. Merlin, he looked just as awful as he did when she found him the night before. She smirked and took a big bite of the fruit.
âGood morning to you too, Sleeping Beauty,â she said through a full mouth.
Sirius rolled his eyes. âThatâs Mister Sleeping Beauty to you, McKinnon.â He rubbed his tired, bleary eyes and stumbled forward a few steps to cradle his head against the counter. âHow can you be eating this early?â
âEarly?â Marlene lifted her wrist, reading the time stamped across her watch. âItâs a quarter past ten already.â
âLike I saidâearly.â
Marlene scoffed and finished the last of the banana, dropping the peel onto the counter at her side. âYour sense of time is all screwed up, isnât it?â He just shrugged weakly. She wasnât wrong, but he wouldnât be the one to admit it aloud. âDo you drink like this all the time now?â
Like she was one to talkâMarlene had spent most of their years at school building her reputation for drinking even the most seasoned of older students under the table and if she didnât have her lucky flask tucked away in the pocket of her robes, she had her backup flask in the hidden pocket of her bag. He didnât reply and she didnât ask again but she watched him stumble around the counter to grab a bottle of aspirin from the top of the refrigerator.
âDo you remember anything from last night?â
He counted the pills in his hand and yanked the door open to display the near-empty chilled shelves inside. âI remember enough to know we didnât sleep together.â
Sirius didnât mean for his words to come out so callous, so jaded, but by now it was just second nature to him to speak with that tinge writing his tone.
She waited as he rummaged around inside but Marlene McKinnon had never been known for her patience and Sirius was clearly stalling. âDo you remember anything you said?â
A glass bottle clinked and scraped against the shelf and a second later, the top hissed and fell to the floor.
âYou mean when I told you I was in love with you?â He tipped his head back and poured half the bottle down the back of his throat.
âYup,â he popped, the word dripping wryly from his tongue. âI remember that too.â
In fact, he was hoping that she didnât remember itâheâd been counting on it, really. Whether it was the alcohol or his own mind, heâd lied awake for long enough before rolling out of bed, turning over and over the words heâd uttered so carelessly into her hair the night before as she helped him into his own bed. He chugged the rest of the beer and tossed the bottle into the basket with a dozen or so like it.
Marlene didnât know when her knee had started to bounce or when sheâd started tapping her nails against the cold surface at her side but Sirius noticed and his silver eyes snapped to the motion like it had personally wronged him.
âCan you cut that out?â
Her fingers stopped almost immediately, but that didnât mean she was any more calm. âDonât you think thatâs something we should talk about?â
âNope.â
âNo?â
Siriusâs hand scratched at his unkempt jaw and his eyes felt heavy like he hadnât slept in days. âNo,â he repeated, âI donât think we should.â
That was the wrong answer and he knew itâthe fire in her eyes lit almost immediately and in an instant, she was on her feet, following after him as he made a b-line for his bedroom once more.
âWhy the fuck not?â Her voice was as shrill and demanding as ever before and it rang through his ears like a whistle.
âBecause, Marls, what good would it do?â
She reached out for him and pulled him to a stop, her grip stronger than heâd ever remembered. âDid you mean any of it?â
He groaned. âDonât make me answer that.â
âWell did you?â
She looked up at him with those big brown eyes that demanded answers, demanded so much more than he had the capacity to give, and he felt his resolve melting away into the pools of chocolate brown.
âYes,â he answered at last, reluctantly. He looked away, unable to hold her eyes. âI meant every word.â
She stumbled back a step and Sirius almost laughed at the absurdity; the ridiculous notion that she would be so fearless coming at him on her terms, ready to call him on his bullshit, but the second it turned out to be real she recoiled. His hand raked through his hair again (James warned him that if he wasnât careful, heâd pull it all out if he kept that habit up).
Marleneâs chest rose and fell and her gaze never left his face, not for a single moment.
âYouâre in love with me?â The way she repeated it was like she didnât really believe a word of it and he didnât really blame her.
âYes.â
Marlene nearly laughed, but she couldnât make the sound escape. âHowââ The girl blinked and licked her dry lips. âHow longââ
âHave I been in love with you?â This time he did laugh but it was hollow and humorless and weak. âFuck, Marlene, I donât know. Eight years?â
âEightââ she balked. âEight years?â
âGive or take.â
Heâd spent so long convincing himself that the first five times didnât count because that sounded so much better than the truth. But they counted, every last one of them, even if only in the smallest of ways. They counted to him.
âAnd you never said anything?â
âWould you have believed me if I had?â
The way she looked at him, the doubt that echoed in her expression, made his breath catch. Heâd always thought if this moment came, he would be prepared for it, but now that the moment was coming and going he found heâd never been more wrong.
âOr do you only believe me now that Iâm broken and alone and a bottle away from drunk?â
For what might have been the first time ever, Marlene was silent.
Sirius sighed and all he could do was nod. âThatâs what I thought.â Heâd barely turned from her again when she said something that stopped him in his tracks.
âYouâre right.â
His eyes narrowed. âWhat?â
âYouâre right,â she repeated, softer this time. âIf youâd told me then I wouldnât have believed youâhell, I wouldnât have listened.â
He already knew that.
âBut,â Marleneâs voice wavered  ever so slightly but she didnât look away and she looked to be mulling over the words churning in her mind, ânowâŚâ
Now was a dangerous word, teeming with a dark and powerful and heavy kind of hope. He sucked in a breath and something in him compelled him towards her in two long strides. âNow?â
He wished he could hear what she was thinking when she opened and closed her mouth but he knew he had to waitâand heâd waited this long so for once that was something he knew he could do.
Marleneâs eyes gleamed. âI canât say it, Sirius.â
âThen I will.â
And then, there was nothing between them but the soft fabric of her shirt and his hands reaching for her face, thumbs grazing the smooth plane of her cheeks for the first time.
âI love you,â he whispered.
After that, there truly was nothing that kept them apart. His lips crashed to hers in a desperate, needy way that spoke so much more than he could ever say. She let out a little sigh that stirred his heartstrings and he pressed deeper into her as though with that kiss alone, everything could be okay againâand nothing would be broken. There was only him and her, the soft but dry skin of her lips like static against his own and so much more intoxicating than he rememberedâthan he imaginedâand her little hands on the bare skin of his waist, clammy and warm and so perfectly Marlene.
The eight years it had taken him to say those words suddenly didnât matter anymore because now that theyâd been said aloud, that was what was important and her skin was so smooth beneath his fingertips, like the velvet of a lost memory he never knew he had. It was sweet and deep and oh-so-right and though he could remember all the reasons heâd never done this beforeâall the doubts and whispers that plagued his dark mindâhe couldnât imagine a life where it didnât happen exactly like this. Not now that he was finally holding her, finally kissing her, finally honestly and undeniably in love with her.
The what ifs were insignificant and the loneliness had faded along with them, even if only for that perfect moment.
âMarls.â
âYou taste like an ashtray,â she mumbled against his lips, âand the end of a cheap bottle of booze.â
He couldnât imagine a more perfect way for the moment to be ruined.
He pulled away from her, reluctant to leave her warm skin, and sighed. âIf Iâd known you were this good at talking dirty, I would have done this ages ago.â
Marlene licked her lips and laughed, her head thrown back in that ethereal way she did that heâd missed so much. His fingers tangled into her hair, finally relishing in the silky way it felt, and he smiled for the first time he could remember smiling in longer than he cared to admit.
âLet me take you on a dateâa real date. With dinner and flowers and you can wear a nice pair of lacy knickers that you wonât let me see.â
Her eyes searched his face with a little smile. âWill you brush your teeth first?â
âI might even shower if youâre lucky.â
She laughed again. âDonât go spoiling me now, Black. One step at a time.â
âThis Friday,â he insisted.
âHow about Saturday,â she countered, her thumb skimming over his bottom lip. âFriday is my dadâs birthdayâitâs a whole family event.â
Truth be told, any day was perfect as long as she said yes. âSaturday it is.â He leaned in one more time and kissed her as softly as before and when he pulled back, her eyes were closed and her face was as beautiful as heâd ever seen it.
âItâs a date.â //
There was no way he could have known that would be the last time he would ever see Marlene alive.
On the evening of Friday the seventeenth of July at the celebration of her fatherâs sixtieth year, a tragedy overtook the McKinnons.
âThey got her whole family.â
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