#neighbors

Bought a new construction home with no fence. Neighbors moved in after us. It’s been a couple months and neighbor A want the fence done before the end of this summer. I am still in debt from paying for the fridge, washer/dryer, shades and various other home stuff. Neighbor B is in the same position and said they want to wait until we were both financially better. Neighbor A initially said okay but then started sending a bunch of quotes saying they want our shared side done this month while the weather is still good. I said I can try to make something work but we are struggling right now.

The quote they sent for our address was listed at $600 so I said that’s fine, confirm if this company will want to come back again for our other side with neighbor B (because one company said no schedule it all together so they don’t have to come twice) and we can proceed. Well they never confirmed and said “hey I scheduled for X day and you owe 1.1k. I said where is that price from?? And apparently their quote when divided is 1.1k but mine said something different, so I wanted to clarify with the company. This company never answered my calls, texts or emails. It’s been over a week after repeating this and they won’t answer. They have 1 star on yelp and a lot of it is because no one can contact them - they are hard to get ahold of. I also want to know what materials are being used because their quote only lists pickets and gates. Because the company never answered, I said I was uncomfortable going with them and the neighbor is basically saying “you don’t need to contact them, I’m the one the quote is under. I don’t know why we’re waiting.” And I said I have questions and this company is a red flag.

So they offer a “deal” saying we can give them 1k and they’ll pay the rest for our shared side and I thought this was because they were the ones rushing the fence and because they want a higher end one. But no, I got a quote match with another company and they said nope, we need to split it evenly, theyre not helping. And the deal only stands if we choose the company that doesn’t answer. But I still have another side fence to worry about. They don’t. This is a one time transaction for them. So I don’t want two different companies for my fences. And I wouldn’t be going with this one they like. I also thought I was helping them out by even considering paying 1k at all when I can say, we need to wait because I really do need to wait.

They keep repeating that I do not need to communicate with their fencer, I just need to take their good deal and pay them. Ideally I would’ve just had both sides of our fences done next summer over the same weekend with one company and call it good. But with them they don’t care, they just want their side done and for us to take their deal even though it would be different warranties and possibly different styles for our two side fences. AIO by making this difficult for them and not giving in to their demands?

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (100% confidence)

Top comment: “I’m sorry putting up a fence is not in my budget at this time nor are we prepared to do it now. We will let you know if/when we are ready to install and have the budget or you can go ahead and put one up yourselves. Have a nice day. NOR”

Notable comment: “NOR. Although it's common courtesy to contribute for shared fencing, it's not mandatory. As you stated at the start, you've had your own expenses of new appliances and other new homes necessities, fencing can be delayed. Them wanting a fence put up immediately, using an "iffy" contractor, should be at their expense, not yours. Also, you did your due diligence and came up with a better option. Had they gone with your option you would most likely be more open to sharing the cost of the shared portion.

When I refenced my backyard, I let my neighbor know that I was refencing, gave her the name of the contractor and the amount of our section (along with the copy of the quote, specifically for that portion). She liked it so much, she refenced her yard and helped towards the shared portion.”

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There's been enough construction and additions going up around here lately that a few of us on the neighborhood group started comparing notes on what actually works to keep builders from parking equipment under everyone's mature trees. Turns out there's a pretty consistent playbook, so here's what people are actually doing.

Get specific before the permit is even approved

The vague version of this is emailing the township and saying "please protect the trees." The version that works is naming which trees, giving trunk diameters if you have them, and asking specifically for protective fencing at the critical root zone, not just around the trunk. A few neighbors said including a photo of the tree in question with their letter got a faster response than a general complaint would have.

Show up to whatever review meeting happens

If the project needs planning or zoning board review, that meeting is the moment to ask, on the record, whether tree protection is part of the approved plan. Once it's in the meeting minutes, it's a lot easier to point back to later if the fencing quietly disappears halfway through the job.

Take your own baseline photos regardless of what the builder does

A few people mentioned wishing they'd done this from the start. Photograph the trees near the property line before anything begins. If a tree ends up declining months later, having dated photos showing its condition beforehand is the difference between "this tree just seems stressed" and "this tree was clearly healthy until construction started."

Check on the fencing yourself, periodically

This came up more than anything else. Approved plans and reality drift apart once a project is underway, especially during framing when crews need somewhere to put material. A quick walk past every week or two, just to confirm the fencing is still standing where it's supposed to be, catches problems early instead of a year later when the canopy starts thinning.

Know who to call if it's already been removed

If protection fencing that was part of an approved plan gets taken down or ignored, township code enforcement is generally the right first call, not just a conversation with the contractor. A few neighbors said mentioning that the fencing was an approved condition, not just a suggestion, got a noticeably faster response.

What actually made the difference, according to the people who tried this

I asked a couple of the more vocal folks in the group what they thought made the biggest difference in their outcomes, since not everyone who tried these steps got the same result. The consensus was pretty consistent: specificity beat everything else. Requests that named a specific tree, gave an approximate trunk diameter, and asked for fencing at a specific distance from the trunk got taken seriously in a way that general "please be careful with the trees" emails just didn't. One neighbor said she basically copied the language from a tree protection standard she found through a university extension site and used it almost word for word in her request, and thinks that specificity is exactly why it got approved as a formal condition instead of a vague suggestion.

A few people also mentioned that persistence mattered more than they expected going in. Nobody got everything right on the first try. The ones who kept checking back, both with the township and by physically walking past the site, were the ones who caught problems early enough to actually fix them, rather than discovering months later that the fencing had quietly disappeared.

A mistake more than one person admitted to making

More than one neighbor mentioned assuming that once tree protection was approved, that was the end of their involvement. A few learned the hard way that approval and actual on-site compliance are two different things, and that nobody else was going to check on their behalf. If you take one thing from all of this, it's probably that: getting the fencing approved is necessary but not sufficient. Somebody still has to verify it's actually there once the crews show up.

When damage has already happened

If a tree has already been standing on compacted soil for a while before anyone caught it, a certified arborist through the ISA directory can assess how bad it actually is and whether remediation is realistic. Both Middletown Tree Service and Hufnagel Tree are local options if you're trying to get eyes on a tree quickly, and Rutgers Cooperative Extension has good background reading on soil compaction if you want to understand what you're actually dealing with before anyone comes out.

None of this guarantees a builder does the right thing. But between documentation, showing up to meetings, and just physically checking on the fencing, the neighbors who did all three had noticeably better outcomes than the ones who assumed the approved plan would just take care of itself.

For anyone just starting this process

If you're at the very beginning, project's just been announced, nothing's approved yet, the single highest-leverage thing you can do is get your concern in front of whoever reviews the plan before it's finalized. Once a project is approved without tree protection conditions attached, adding them after the fact is a much harder conversation, if it happens at all. A five-minute email now, naming the specific trees and asking specifically about protection fencing, is worth more than a strongly worded complaint six months from now after equipment has already been parked under the canopy.

And if you're reading this after the fact, after fencing already got skipped or removed, don't assume it's too late to matter. Documenting the current state of a tree, getting a professional read on whether compaction has already set in, and raising it with the property owner or the township is still worth doing, both for that tree's sake and to make the point clearly enough that it doesn't happen again on the next project down the block.

What I'd tell myself before the first project on our street

Looking back, the biggest shift for me was realizing this isn't really about being confrontational with a builder or a neighbor. It's closer to being the person who asks a specific, reasonable question at the right moment, before a plan is finalized rather than after a tree is already stressed. Most of the frustration people in this group described came from silence, nobody asking, nobody checking, rather than from anyone acting in bad faith. A quick email, a five-minute walk past the fencing every couple of weeks, and a willingness to follow up once instead of assuming someone else already did, covers most of what actually worked for people here. None of it requires special expertise or a confrontational tone. It just requires someone to actually do it, consistently, for the length of the project, which turns out to be the part almost everyone underestimates going in.

A few other small things people mentioned in passing

A couple of details came up in the group conversation that didn't fit neatly into any of the sections above but seem worth passing along anyway. One neighbor pointed out that it helps to ask the builder directly, early and politely, where they actually plan to stage materials and park equipment, rather than assuming the site plan drawing tells the whole story. Staging areas shift once a project gets underway, and knowing the plan in advance makes it a lot easier to notice if things drift away from what was approved.

Someone else mentioned that keeping a simple shared folder, just photos with dates, made a real difference when multiple households on the same block were watching the same project. No formal software, just a shared album everyone could drop pictures into whenever they walked by. When the fencing issue eventually came up, having photos from three different neighbors on three different dates was a lot more convincing to the township than any single person's account would have been.

Why this matters beyond just the trees on your own property

Neither is a pleasant option.

But now I can’t take soup to the elderly woman across the alley, because the gate is chained and locked and I don’t have a key, and I wasn’t told. None of us were told.

So i have neighbour’s whom I have known for a long time and they have a son who is autistic. They kind of let him play outside unsupervised and the other day i was walking home and as I turn the corner i see him slapping the windshield of my car at full force and kicked my passenger door. I was obviously shocked and my first instinct was to confront him and ask why he just did what he did. I then rang the house’s doorbell and the dad came out and laughed it off/apologized and half assedly scolded him saying “get back inside”. When i told my parents they said i overreacted and shouldn’t have done anything because of his condition. They’re going through enough but I’m also going through a lot and can’t afford to get my car fixed should there have been bigger damage or cracks. He’s also not a kid anymore (15) and is strong af.

He is known to bang on his family’s car with brooms and other random shit and comes to our side of the driveway quite often just to fuck around and runs back when he sees me looking out the window (I have cameras alerting me). There’s also random scratches that have appeared since i started parking outside but can’t blame him for since my cameras weren’t up at the time. Would I be doing too much if my cameras caught him in the act and i reported him to the cops?

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (100% confidence)

Top comment: “NOR.

His autism can explain the behavior, but it doesn’t excuse your property being damaged. I’d talk to the parents first, but if they keep brushing it off and it happens again, reporting it is fair. You still have a right to protect your stuff.”

Notable comment: “NOR, as someone who worked as a support worker for adults with autism I know first hand that while autism can explain some of the reasoning behind why they don’t know that it’s wrong to cause that type of damage, it’s not an excuse. We are trained in dealing with how to prevent his behaviour and teach them that it’s wrong, and if that’s not possible due to the level of functioning/ non functioning autism, they require more support staff. This is something the parents need to learn to deal with properly and not just use “he’s autistic” as an excuse because that leads to more extreme behaviour. This isn’t an acceptable response from the parents, they need to deal with the behaviour. If an autistic individual cannot be left unattended without causing damage to people or items, they should not be left unattended at all.”

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