vincent van goggles

i haven’t been real for a few days thinking about becoming real again soon though

dino saurs were not scary monsters they were mamas with eggs and when they drank water they were like fuckk yessss waterrrr

if you’ve ever thought i’m standoffish, politely distant, or generally hard to befriend, know in your heart that i’m exactly the same in real life. my neighbours just showed up at my door drunk on Canada Day celebrations and told me how desperate they’ve been to meet me for the past few months and then tried to fix the water pump in my basement

one of the neighbours returned today with heavy machinery and gravel and fixed my driveway. i feel like a feral animal they’re trying to coax with little treats

they've told me the gossip which is that a few years back a 70 yr old man collapsed the bridge at the end of my road by driving his tractor over it, lost his tractor in the river, climbed back up the cliff unscathed, walked an hour home, and then the whole road fell into disrepair and all the campgrounds closed and the once popular waterfall down the road became obscure and secret. so like, be the change you want to see in the world. collapse a bridge to chase out the tourists. also you can lose widespread knowledge in under 10 years if one old man collapses a bridge

also i met this bridge collapsing old man on a walk a few months ago and he said to me "you should check out the river at the end of the road, there's a tractor in it!" like he wasn't the one who put it there

jobs for people who cant do or handle anything

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

reblog the cherry pie to be ok

The cherry pie worked for me and here’s to hoping it’ll work for you too

Let the cherry pie do it’s magic

age regressing to 2 years old but i was an especially erudite and articulate baby so you don't even notice