there’s an art to life’s distractions

shane and anya headcanons

anya gets into some bushes at the cottage and gets coveredddd in burrs and poor ilya is just too bereft (and too much of a baby) to get them out himself and risk hurting her. enter: shane, who spends hours silently picking them out of her fur with olive oil and tweezers so that it’s perfectly painless for his sweet girl and he has a blast doing it because it’s calm and requires precision

anya sometimes prefers to go on walks with shane because shane has read up on dog behavioural cues and knows about 3-second greetings, licking lips as a stress reliever, petting from above the head being confrontational, etc. and shane is much more strict about maintaining anya’s boundaries with other dogs and strangers on walks

shane also enlists anya in agility classes because in my head anya is a nova scotia duck tolling retriever and those retrievers are very intelligent, energetic, and great at agility

shane really becomes invested in browsing lick mats and other mentally stimulating toys/treat contraptions at stores to the point where ilya will catch him in some aisle at petsmart just zoned out and stimmaxxing by playing with the compartments and textures

ilya is such a sucker for anya that whenever they’re playing with a toy and get in a tug of war he’ll instantly let anya win, but shane? shane only child hollander has NEVER let someone else win and he gets genuinely a little pissed off like “anya you have to give it to me if you want me throw it for you again you’re being completely unreasonable fuck off”

shane makes his own completely organic dog treats for anya and ilya thinks they’re the most disgusting things ever and opts to give her treats like bacon and peanut butter, but anya prefers shane’s health nut treats and ilya starts tweaking out about it sjdjsjdj

anya will do tricks/commands for ilya one on one but when he’s in the same room as shane she’ll only do shane’s commands and ilya swears she’s doing it on purpose to make him look a fool