eli

Welcome to evil burger home of the evil burger may I take your life

*vigor, warmth, and light returning to my eyes suddenly* That’s right, I’m an irredeemable pervert…!

person (non-practicing)

wait here while my manservant fetches the anti-elf rifle

U kno what im really starting 2 get fucking tired of getting shot at all tha time

ah. rereading through my own posts and realizing that i have been deeply depressed since april 1st. surely this is god's idea of a joke.

feeling like an open wound again.

northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

southern hemisphere babes, they're stealing our fucking daylight!

Good evening followers. Today, I will lay a respectful egg

eats it

age regressing back to toddlerhood for the sole purpose of reopening my critical period and learning Arabic

Wait so you’re telling me my only options for letting people know I’m having a hard time in real life are 1) telling them (won’t happen, humiliating) or 2) public mental breakdown (also won’t happen, more humiliating)

ohhhh i get it theyre called cigarettes because for no reason