GenderFae, Queerly 30 , Lesbian , Futch

My first egg cracked in 2016. I came out as agender. changed my name to Andi and my pronouns to they/them, started wearing dresses/skirts/crop tops, and dyed my hair all sorts of funky colors. I was starting to be happier with myself in a way I'd never really been as a boy. No one. Not one single person, in real life or on the internet, ever made it seem like being a woman was an option for me. Everything pointed in the opposite direction.

I watched the election cycle that year with dread. I watched the vote totals come in at bar with some friends after my teaching gig for the night was over. We drank in silence and in misery. I cried in my truck on the way home, knowing that life was just going to get harder for people like me. I still couldn't call myself transgender. I didn't think that word was for me.

I read Tranny by Laura Jane Grace. I really identified with parts of it, but her story as a punk rocker and an addict was so dissimilar to mine that I didn't think I could be a woman, didn't think I would ever be allowed to call myself that.

I drank and smoked myself almost to the point of death over the next two years. I was working nearly 100hrs a week between bartending and teaching, and was semi-regularly driving the few blocks home from the bar slightly drunk. Not intentionally, but y'know. If something happened and my life ended? No big deal. Every relationship in my life crumbled around me. It wasn't until I hit rock FUCKING bottom that I thought to myself "what if I'm a woman?"

If anyone had told me, even once, that maybe I was a trans woman. Maybe estrogen could help. Maybe transition might make me happier. Maybe I wouldn't have been driving a 2005 F-150 with almost 200k miles on it 90mph an hour and a half to sleep with a girl who hadn't loved me in years. Maybe I wouldn't have buried myself in half a bottle of whiskey every night after work. Maybe I would've never started smoking. Maybe I'd still have any of the friends I made before the pandemic. Maybe I Wouldn't Have Been So Fucking Miserable.

So yeah. Forcefem today. Forcefem tomorrow. Forcefem every day forever until not a single girl has to go through what I did, or worse.

Me when I look at photos of myself

Some days yes

yk its really cool how if youre openly transfem online you have to lock your shit down otherwise people will come out of the woodwork to ywnbaw you on your profile or in your comments or asks or whatever

Like say what you want about "bad queer representation", but this was the song that made me openly and happily accept that I was bisexual. To see him up there Black and beautiful, making music that I love, absolutely killing it? Yeah. You couldn't tell me shit. This man made me proud to be out. "This will make them think we're evil for being gay" hey newsflash dawg-

Please don’t take her

This the original rainbow the pink and tral were dropped for mass production . Also rather use the progress flag.

Also to note Silva Rivera really had a problem with how pride was commercialized and left the movement behind.

This the original rainbow the pink and tral were dropped for mass production . Also rather use the progress flag.

Reblog if you’re polyamorous, support polyamorous people, or think polyamorous people and relationships are valid

white ppl will steal every aesthetic from black culture and then call it something so stupid like bo derek braids instead of box braids or hasbin hotel core instead of black southern dandism. yall will bend over backwards to call my culture barbaric/scary just to drool over the aesthetic the moment no actual black people are involved (21 pilots vs actual reggae). And if ur white/nonblack reading this just reblog. I dont need any comments talking about how not racist you are + speaking up over actual black people.

Please remember if you are white you have stolen your culture from somewhere else

Mainly talking about everything we have stolen from black and brown people so again and tell what great things we stole from Britain that we use in everyday language. You capping for Europe the most white centric place may be telling but go on. Tell me more.

Way I am not in engaging you clearly have no idea what you are talking about.

white ppl will steal every aesthetic from black culture and then call it something so stupid like bo derek braids instead of box braids or hasbin hotel core instead of black southern dandism. yall will bend over backwards to call my culture barbaric/scary just to drool over the aesthetic the moment no actual black people are involved (21 pilots vs actual reggae). And if ur white/nonblack reading this just reblog. I dont need any comments talking about how not racist you are + speaking up over actual black people.

Please remember if you are white you have stolen your culture from somewhere else

Mainly talking about everything we have stolen from black and brown people so again and tell what great things we stole from Britain that we use in everyday language. You capping for Europe the most white centric place may be telling but go on. Tell me more.

i haaaaate getting them-ed. i am exclusively she/her. we occasionally use we for ourselves. but never they.

Respect her pronouns. I am sorry you them-ed