me: hi! how are you today :)
customer:
This isn’t even an exaggeration
This🙄🙄🙄
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@uunsafe
me: hi! how are you today :)
customer:
This isn’t even an exaggeration
This🙄🙄🙄

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To Find Friendship In A New Area To Which You Have Moved
Spell originally by Cassandra Eason.
What you need:
Seven small yellow candles
A photo of yourself in a happy social situation
Seven yellow ribbons
Timing: Wednesday (and the following six days)
1.) Light a candle to begin a candle circle around the photo, saying “ I welcome new friends eagerly to increase my sociability, and soon I will find friends of like mind. Tie the first ribbon to the second, saying “ I create a new circle of friendship in my life.”
2.) Blow out the candle, leaving the ribbons coiled on top of the picture. For the next five days, repeat the spell, adding an extra candle to the circle, tying one extra ribbon each time.
3.) On Day 7, at the end of the spell, join the first and last ribbons to make a complete circle, saying “ I have created a new circle of friendship in my life.” Let the candles burn. Place the picture with the ribbon circle around it where natural light shines.
Angels of love and light,
Please protect me with all your might
From those who harm with all their must
May their malintentions turn to dust.
school tin
i’m still a student, and i find that there is a lot of negativity at school (from both yourself and other people). so i made a protective spell tin to help protect myself from it all✨
what you will need
- a small tin (like an altoids box. a small jar works as well, whatever is easiest for you!)
-rosemary
-fern
-salt
-cinnamon
-crystals/rocks that have properties you need, or even just your favorite. i used aveurtine, rose quartz, clear quartz, and tiger’s eye (be careful with tiger’s eye as it is a form of asbestos, and if it gets chipped, throw it away asap)
-a sigil that says “i am protected from negative energy” for this, i’d recommend making your own in order to feel more connected to it
step one - is draw the sigil on paper. charge it with your intentions. place it in the box first, creating a layer between the metal and the contents
step two - place the crystals in the tin (if you want you could cleanse them before you do this)
step three - add the herbs
step four - add the salt and cinnamon. while sprinkling them on, i visualized that they were glowing bright, white light, that would protect me from any negativity
after that, close the tin and hold it close. visualize whatever color that makes you feel safest/happiest as a light, flowing from your chest, through your arms and reaching your hands. send that colorful light into the tin, while thinking of your intentions for the tin and its contents.
i placed mine in a windowsill to charge with some moon energy as well. if you connect more with the sun, feel free charge it with sun energy🌞. and if you fancy, do both! or none! whatever feels right with you
sending positive energy your way~
Please allow this gifset of Jeff Goldblum holding a tiny sleeping puppy to bless your Dashboard.

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He loves it when we set fire to food and then sing about it. Happy Birthday, to a good old dog.
this video makes me so happy inside i can’teven describe it
He’s so happy he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
Now this is just iconic advice
Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.
I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.
*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about
*leans over and whispers back* Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst
consider the coconut
this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”
i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.
listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them
This post is a journey
1 Reblog = 1 Respect
I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.
Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!
Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous
Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.
I MEAN where’s the lie
Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.
Reblogging for that last exchange.
@shanastoryteller
me and strawberry lemonade svedka
me with patron silver tbh
tbh strawberitas
Jack Daniel's. I only stayed out of hospital because we were on campus

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I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later. And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.
There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly. Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.
RUTHLESS
I love her
I saw this in one of my sociology classes. In case you’re wondering she didn’t apologize.
white girl: *cries b/c she’s used to that working*
Jane Elliot:
We did a experiment like this when I was in the FIFTH GRADE. And this same shit happened, a lil white boy got fed up and left the classroom. Like could you prove the point any easier?
Favorite video on the internet
I got married to my best friend on Saturday.
True Blue by Weirdling Photography

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Sick Tiger Cub Gets Rescued From Circus, Makes Incredible Recovery And Finds Love