Huh?

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

for years my personal style motto has been, "before you leave the house, look in the mirror & add one more accessory, just to piss off the nazi ghost of coco chanel."

Julius Ceasar has been dead for 2064 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2065 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2066 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2067 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2068 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2069 (nice) slutty, slutty years

do me a favor and plz reblog with your five most recently used non-face, non-hand, non-heart emojis

The Color Game. “Humans can’t reliably recall colors. This is a simple game to see how good (or bad) you are at it. We’ll show you five colors, then you’ll try and recreate them.” I scored 39/50 but got a perfect score on one color.

Why would you use duct tape to hold hands ?

Wait I’m a fucking idiot

everyone line up i've got one bottle of testosterone gel and there's 17,000 of you i'm about to pull a move not seen since jesus did the bread and fish glitch 2000 years ago

people will have double-digit opinions on kink discourse and still manage to not know what BDSM stands for

big dick super mario

big dick super mario

Not superstitious and not not superstitious but a third secret thing (read a lot of fairytales as a child and doesn't believe them but also would never be rude to a mountain while still on it just in case)

our new job launched its mandatory ai transcription program designed to streamline our workflow and not only does it melt down the moment it has to transcribe non-white customers but it keeps hallucinating the existence of a mysterious boy named dorian who shows up in every third call summary

caller got into a car accident on their way to work? their nonexistant son dorian was hurt. got kicked out of a bar and broke their ankle? their son dorian was the one who broke it. i now spend more time having to de-dorian the call summary than if i had just written it myself. really funny. we're required to use this now

The Picture of Dorian GrAI