(Aggressively) Untitled

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

Okay who cares if someone’s clingy???? They fucking love and adore you??? You don’t like being adored? Loser

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

I have clothes that I have worn consistently for the past 6+ years. A few of them have small holes in them, but I switched to wearing them as pajamas or just at home.

My entire feed is 20% damn there was a shooting at the White House and 80% CHEATED??? ON MEGAN THEE STALLION????

Megan Thee Stallion listen to me. You have to cheat back. I'm free any time for you. Please

Megan Thee Stallion was dating someone?? Man I'm out of the loop on celebrity relationships. This post does make it seem like it was either Trump or the shooter who cheated on her though.

I didn't even know who Megan Thee Stallion is before this post

Hey, hey, breathe... Look at me.... This is all your fault, okay?

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

speaking from a place of privilege (good url)

some of you should not be reblogging this

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again