off his chest

When you must forget but you cannot let those thoughts trickle out and escape forever. You want to but you can't. So you keep them in, absorb the torture, live with the pain. A pain that doesn't ease no matter how hard you try and ignore it. Ignorance isn't bliss. Not like this. For it is a burden, a dropped anchor. An anchor of a ship that needs to sail but is forever stranded. A vessel that's forever still. A ship that will be forever wrecked.

Llévame ¿Me llevas a Cuba? A una playa donde la arena parece nieve. Nieve que no se derrite en esa calor que nos calentará la piel dándonos un sentido inimaginable. ¿O a Perú? El corazón de América Latina, a andar en lugares que ni un español encontró. Vamos y nos tomamos un café en un rincón de Colombia y revivimos la soledad del maestro Márquez. O si no te apetece café, pedimos un mate en la vibrante ciudad de Buenos Aires. ¿Y si nos vamos a Brasil? a bailar Samba durante carnavales, o a las preciosas playas del punto del este en Uruguay, a respirar el aire fresco del Atlántico. Quiero que me lleves a Chile, y que paseemos por las callejuelas de Valparaíso absorbiendo la atmósfera. Llévame al punto del mundo que es la capital de Bolivia y a comer arepas en Caracas. Quiero hablar con la gente Huaorani de Ecuador antes de visitar el paraíso que son las islas Galápagos. Después llévame a escuchar reggaeton en donde nació en Panamá. Y rescatar tortugas en Costa Rica. Muéstrame Paraguay, Honduras, Nicaragua y El Salvador. Guatemala y México. Puerto Rico y la República Dominicana. Quiero ver todo. Vivir todo. Sentir todo. Todo el amor y el calor de las Américas.

Yes I like to sit in a park alone. In the cold, watching the world go by. Watching my world go by. My life. Extremely quickly. As fast as the setting sun on the horizon. Too fast that solitude isn't something I think about until time actually stops every so often. Just randomly during these spurts of this accelerating existence of mine. That's when I think about it. My world suddenly stops and takes a breather and it is then, during this space in time that I realise I'm actually extremely lonely. In need of company? I don't know. In need of love? Sure.

A vulnerable timidness surrounds you and the intrigue is unreal. My admiration is forever growing, like that adolescent teen who’s constantly complimented on their physical progression. An obsession for the need to get to know somebody you don’t even know. A stranger. Their behaviour, personality, even the basics. The places they’ve been to or would like to go. What their favourite colour is or what food they dislike. Whether they prefer the sticky summer nights or the cosy winters. Whether they sit there gazing up at the stars and wonder if anybody is doing the same at that very moment. Or is that just me. Wanting to believe that my reflection deflects off a star into somebody’s heart. In another world perhaps. Another galaxy. This mysteriousness that continues to attract me starts becoming a burden. The possibility of never knowing the unknown hurts. A closed curtain that you just want to peak out of. Like a dagger to the heart to what could have been the start… looks likely that it may never even begin. Never develop. A limitless throwaway camera that stores images you’d never be able to see. A memory that hasn’t yet been made into a memory. A possibility that won’t ever be possible. A tunnel with no light at the end, no exit. Just a dark passage to nothingness.

Pasan días como el de hoy, tumbado en la cama sin hacer nada.... esperando hasta que llegue mañana. Porque ya no quiero que sea hoy. Hoy es uno de esos días que parece que se a parado el tiempo. Me arrepiento de las veces que he tenido la venda en los ojos. Esa puta venda. Convencido de que tengo los pies en el suelo pero en verdad estoy volando. Sin alas. Sin ganas de aterrizar. Quiero escapar a otro mundo. Lejos. Donde ya no existe esa maldita venda que no me deja ver. Un mundo en donde conozco lo que tengo enfrente mía. Un mundo en donde te tengo a ti.