Iâm collecting enough diagnosis to make alphabet soup and you cannot stop me
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@unlearnandthrive
Iâm collecting enough diagnosis to make alphabet soup and you cannot stop me

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this might piss some people off but I donât think some of you actually ever tried to unlearn your hatefulness. you just came out as queer and decided your new targets really truly deserve it this time.
The Grocery Store
Divider credit
I started this with a whole discussion with a friend about food and how you can use it to explain attraction / sexuality in simple terms and then ofc I had to share it here. Originally it started with just talking about broccoli as a whole and then I just kept adding onto it.
Originally Strawberry and Broccoli (now Cucumber) did not have anything outside of Broccoli = same sex attraction, Strawberry = opposite sex attraction, but as things do they gained gender presentation overtime. I blame this on the tweet that started this discussion, which ultimately got Cucumber assigned to man.
The grocery store represents society / humanity as a whole. Everyone exists within the store, but not everyone belongs to the same category, aisle, or presentation.
Food = people / gender / identities
Different sections of the store represent social categorization systems.
Strawberries = Women / Feminity
Strawberries represent women or attraction to women / femininity. But strawberries are not one singular experience:
Plain strawberries
Strawberries with sugar
Strawberry cake
Strawberry shampoo
Strawberry perfume
Strawberry tea
Strawberry ice cream
This represents:
Feminine presentation
Aesthetics
Expression
Personality
Relational dynamics
Social role
Emotional flavor
Someone can love strawberries generally while still preferring certain "presentations" of strawberries.
Cucumbers = Men / Masculinity
Originally in my sleep deprived fueled rant to a friend I used broccoli but I replaced that with cucumber due to them having more versatility and contextual expressions.
Cucumbers can be:
Plain
In salads
Cucumber water
Pickles
Cucumber sandwiches
Facials / Skincare
Shampoo
Sushi
This represents:
Masculine presentation
Aesthetics
Expression
Personality
Relational dynamics
Social role
Emotional flavor
Important note: Tajin works on cucumber. Not on broccoli. This is a foundational law of the metaphor universe brought on by my real world prefrences that adjusted this metaphor.
Cookies = Nonbinary People
Cookies are not strawberries or cucumbers.
But they are still food. Still in the grocery store. Still fully part of society / humanity.
Cookies represent identities outside the strict cucumber / strawberry binary.
Some cookies:
Contain strawberries
Contain cucumbers
Contain neither
Change recipes entirely
This represents nonbinary people having varying relationships to:
Femininity
Masculinity
Womanhood
Manhood
Androgyny
Neutrality
Cookies are not "failed strawberries" or "failed cucumber." They are their own category.
Tomatoes = Genderfluid People
Tomatoes are contextual and fluid.
They:
Shift categories depending on framework
Appear in many sections of the store
Transform forms
Remain "tomato" despite changing presentation
Examples:
Produce aisle tomato
Pasta sauce
Ketchup
Salsa
Soup
Sun-dried tomatoes
This represents:
Shifting gender expression
Contextual presentation
Fluid relationships to categorization itself
Tomatoes aren't confused. The categorization system is just context-dependent.
Sexual Orientation
Orientation is represented by which foods someone is naturally drawn toward.
Attraction vs Experience
You do NOT need to consume a food to known whether you're drawn toward it.
A lesbian does not need to date men to know she's not attracted to men. A straight woman does not need to date women to know she's not attracted to women.
Experience:
Confirms
Complicates
Refines
Contextualizes
But does not create orientation from nothing.
Preferences Within Attraction
Someone may like strawberries generally, but specifically prefer:
Strawberry cake
Strawberry shampoo
Ripe Strawberries
Strawberries with sugar
One strawberry at a time
This represents:
Presentation preferences
Aesthetics
Relationship dynamics
Monogamy / Polyamory
Emotional compatibility
Personality types
Likewise with cucumbers in different forms.
Monogamy / Polyamory
One at a time = Monogamy Multiple at a time = Polyamory This can be multiple different kinds at the same time, only introducing multiple in certain dynamics / settings, or any number of the different dynamics under the umbrella term of "non monogamy".
The food itself is not the relationship structure. The serving style is.
Asexuality and Aromanticism
Someone may not strawberries, cucumbers, tomatoes, or cookies.
They may:
Not consume food at all
Only consume food after an emotional connection
Consume food for bonding
Consume food only for reproduction
Enjoy food aesthetically without desire to eat it
^ Asexuality
Not have food on their plate at all
Only have food on their plate after an emotional connection
Have food on their plate for bonding
Enjoy food without desire to have it on their plate
^ Aromanticism
These can overlap in different ways depending on someones sexual and romantic identity.
This separates:
Attraction
Action
Intimacy
Desire
Motivation
Into distinct experiences.
Compulsory Heteorsexuality (Comphet)
Someone naturally drawn to strawberries may spend years trying cucumbers because:
Cucumbers are expected
Socially rewarded
Considered "normal"
Easier to explain
So they keep trying:
Different cucumber preparations
Different relationship styles
Different people
while insisting "Everyone struggles with cucumbers."
Then:
They meet strawberry lovers
Bisexual people confirm both foods can genuinely feel exciting
They realize attraction is supposed to feel natural rather an performative
And eventually "Oh. Maybe cucumbers just aren't my thing."
The Fundamental Rule
People are not obligated to force themselves to consume foods that consistently leave them:
Distressed
Disconnected
Emotionally unfulfilled
Performing attraction rather than feeling it
And if someone spends their entire life staring longingly at another aisle while writing essays about why their current food should theoretically satisfy them...
...It might be time to put the cucumber down.
Now like I said at the start of this post - this started from a tweet I saw and spiraled from there in the middle of the night while running on 0 sleep.
Am I covering everyone and everything? No. Grocery stores are complicated, after all.
Do I think its really funny how I tried to keep the food from being gendered in the start and then they ended up being gendered anyways? Yes
Did that expand into cookies and tomatoes? Yes
Do I find it really funny I assigned cucumbers to men? Yes, the irony isn't lost on me there LMAO
This is just a silly post, it can be expanded on in many ways, the grocery store is expansive.
It's Okay To Be Bad At Things
Hobbies are not supposed to be perfect on day one.
I don't know when we collectively decided that if you're not immediately good at something it's not worth doing, but that mindset is the fastest way to suck all the joy out of anything.
You are supposed to be bad at the beginning. That's literally the whole point of being at the beginning.
You didn't learn to walk in a day. You don't pick up a new skill and instantly do it flawlessly.
You wobble. You mess up. You get frustrated. You try again. And somewhere, within that process, you start getting better at it without even realizing it.
People act like: "If I'm not good immediately, I need better tools" "If I struggle, it means I shouldn't be doing this." "If it's not perfect, it's not worth it."
No.
Learning is the point.
You're not supposed to pick up a hobby and already know how to do it. You're supposed to figure it out. You're supposed to make the bad versions first. You're supposed to have a phase where everything is a little off, a little messy, a little "eh, this could be better."
Because that is how you build the skill.
And money does not replace that process!! You can spend hundreds of dollars on the best equipment, the best materials, the "professional" version of whatever it is that you're doing, and if you don't know how to use it, you're still going to get beginner results. Not because you failed, not because the equipment is bad, but because you are a beginner and that is okay and that is beautiful and that is worth something.
Hobbies aren't fun because you're good at them. Hobbies aren't fun because you have the best set up. Hobbies are fun because you're learning, because you get to see yourself improve, because one day something clicks and you realize you're doing better than you were before.
If you skip the learning, you skip the whole experience.
So please - be bad at things. Make the weird, imperfect, not quite right versions. Take the time to figure it out. That's not something to be embarrassed about, that is literally the hobby.
We don't shame toddlers for being bad at walking because they're new to it. So why are we shaming ourselves for being new to something?
Fellow white people did you know there's this cool youtube hack where you go out of your way to watch videos made by Black people. And suddenly your video recommendations will have loads of cool new channels. And then you realise youtube was literally hiding videos made by Black people from you because they assumed you wouldn't be interested
Reblogging this to recommend some creators I like! This is across various genres, but please just check them out!
Kat Blaque
Jade Fox
MacDoesIt
Diamond Stylz
Thee Mademoiselle
Kelly Stamps
Khadija Mbowe
May In Bloom

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call me crazy but i think public transportation should explicitly also be for actively drunk/high people. so they donât, you know, drive under the influence.
Fellow white people did you know there's this cool youtube hack where you go out of your way to watch videos made by Black people. And suddenly your video recommendations will have loads of cool new channels. And then you realise youtube was literally hiding videos made by Black people from you because they assumed you wouldn't be interested
I donât know if this is an obvious take or a hot take, but I think people need to start re-framing feminism as the fight for body autonomy as opposed to whatever this second wave revival gender essentialist bullshit we have going on right now. Once you reframe it in this way, itâs easier to understand intersectionality and why cis women are not the only people who need feminism. The lack of body autonomy effects cis women, trans people, intersex people, disabled people, poc, homeless people, sex workers, etc. and your feminism needs to include and prioritise all of these groups of people (which will include men btw) because feminism is about autonomy, not about establishing a matriarchy. Body autonomy is the biggest threat to the patriarchy, both with reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and even the right to not be drafted into military services. Once body autonomy is established for everyone, the patriarchy no longer has a leg to stand on.
And body autonomy does include things that you donât personally like either. I was prompted to write this post after a series of bad takes from progressives, but one of them was re-hashing the Sabrina Carpenter album cover drama with âI donât think itâs conservative of me to think that the album cover is a bad look when weâve seen images of women being abused in this wayâ because I do actually think youâve failed to understand feminism by projecting your morals onto a woman who was consensually expressing her own autonomy just because she expressed it in a way that you didnât like or that made you uncomfortable.
Body autonomy also means unhealthy choices. Body autonomy also means regret rates. Body autonomy also means freedom of sexuality. Body autonomy also means mutilation. If you believe body autonomy has limitations and exceptions, then your feminism is most likely surface level.
TERFs are some of the biggest opponents to body autonomy, and if you find yourself thinking âoh people can do whatever they want with their bodies as long as it doesnât harm them or make others uncomfortableâ then you are far more susceptible to TERF propaganda than you think.
My womenâs gender and sexuality teacher made this announcement today, and it caused two things to come up inside of me.
First? That fear Im sure a lot of fellow autistic people get that their personal writing is being mistaken for AI generated content, especially when youâre using things like oxford commas and em dashes within papers.
But secondly, and most importantly:
The idea that people are using AI for their school work already sucks, but especially for a humanities class like this where the whole deal is that you are using your personal knowledge and experiences to break down your biases and reflect on the way that the world either reinforces or helps to break down those biases.
I understand that not every class is going to be interesting. I understand that not every class is going to be something youâre good at, or something that youâre passionate about. I understand that sometimes itâs just a class youâre taking because⌠you need the credit.
I also understand that maybe because itâs something I am passionate about and interested in and itâs the single class Iâve taken thatâs revitalized my interest in college and stopped me from dropping out when I was burned out.
But
Maybe we can all just⌠try?
âOh but I feed AI my ideas and they make it better!â
Darling if the idea is already there⌠just write it poorly. Because at least itâs yours.
coworker handed me something with a closed hand and said âthe cat dropped thisâ
and i just, immediately took it before asking âwhat is it?â because⌠well, i am not someone grossed out by (most) bugs or anything like that
and then i looked down and
â¨FORGâ¨

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people talk about euthanasia like itâs the worst thing that can happen to an animal. working in a shelter will change how you define "worst."
âworstâ isnât a peaceful end.
âworstâ is a dog living in a constant state of stress. pacing, spinning, barking until their voice is gone. shutting down completely or escalating because nothing they do is being understood.
âworstâ is untreated pain. medical issues that donât get addressed in time, or at all. bodies breaking down while people argue over whether itâs ârightâ to intervene.
âworstâ is being returned over and over again. different home, same confusion. new people, new rules, same outcome.
âworstâ is fear becoming your baseline. flinching at hands. not knowing whatâs expected of you. having to escalate just to get space.
people like to believe euthanasia is something cold and careless. that itâs done by people who donât care enough to try.
thatâs not the reality i live in.
the reality is holding an animal still and gently. making sure theyâre not alone. talking to them, even if they donât understand the words. making sure the last thing they feel isnât fear.
the reality is making a decision when there arenât good options. when space is limited, resources are limited, and time is limited.
you cannot save every animal. you can only decide how much suffering youâre willing to let happen in the name of âtrying.â
there are fates worse than euthanasia. and pretending otherwise doesnât protect animalsâit just makes those fates more common.
the goal isnât to save every animal. the goal is to reduce suffering.
sometimes those are the same thing. sometimes they arenât.
i donât believe in god i believe in controlled introductions and leash pressure
how tf does the patriarchy impact men? that's a system they benefit from. stop shoving men into spaces they dont belong. feminism isnt for them its for women and girls who are have been hurt by them
this is an old ask lol
I'll answer the last half of it before answering the first:
Feminism isn't just for women. There are subsects of feminism that are more centered on women - radical and separationist feminism comes to mind when I think about that - but feminism as a whole is about dismantling patriarchy and gender-based oppression.
That system doesn't only affect women. It was built to privilege men as a class, yes, but it also enforces rigids roles on them, such as what they're allowed to feel, how they're supposed to act, what makes them "real" men etc. Feminism challenges those expectations too.
Saying feminism "isn't for men" misunderstands what it's actually trying to do. It's not about creating a space that excludes men, it's about addressing a system that harms people in different ways depending on how they're positioned within it.
Women and girls are absolutely the primary targets of patriarchal harm, especially trough violence and systemic inequality. That focus matters. However, that doesn't mean men are outside of the conversation entirely, or that they can't benefit from dismantling the same system.
Now to answer how patriarchy impacts men:
It punishes emotional expression. Men are taught (implicitly or otherwise) that vulnerability = weakness, which contributes to isolation and higher rates of untreated mental health issues
It normalizes anger as the only acceptable emotion, which can escalate conflict and harm their relationships.
It pressures men into rigid roles (provider, dominant, stoic, etc) even when those roles don't fit them or actively hurt them.
It discourages seeking help, whether that's therpay, medical care, or even basic support from friends.
It reinforces harmful ideas about masculinity that can push men toward risky behavior or violence to "prove" themselves.
It limits how men can experience closeness. Affection between men is often stigmatized, leading to loneliness.
It contributes to higher suicide rates among men
The stigma around male victims of abuse or assault - especially when the perpetrator is a woman.
It devalues caregiving roles, making it harder for men who want to be nurturing, involved parents or partners.
None of this erases the harm patriarchy does to women. It just shows that dismantling it benefits everyone.
this is wrong
largest spoon Iâve ever seen in my life ďżźďżź
For my people w/ body hair
esp underarm hair
I donât shave. I find it ultimately useless, and figure if we werenât meant to have it, not every single person would have it.
However that being said -
Sometimes! It is not enough for you to just hit your underarms with some body wash, and just call it a day.
Especially if youâre a depressed goblin like myself and the only energy you had was to put some deodorant on and move on with your day for two weeks straight.
When youre finally in that shower - take some shampoo and wash the hair on your pits like you would the hair on your head. You gotta get the buildup off before you add more on, so the deodorant can do its job better and so that the hair can do its job better, because yes it does have a job as well.
You donât even have to get more shampoo out, just use whatâs still on your hands after shampooing your head, and give your armpits a quick scrub with it. Like actually get in there, between the hairs, sometimes iâll even just grab little sections and rub it. You can even use a washcloth if thats better, just rub your soapy hands on the washcloth first then your underarms.
This helps to break up any buildup of the deodorant a lot better than your body wash will, but also it helps to break down the oils that stick to the hair better than your body wash will.
This doesnât have to be every shower, just when you notice some buildup or smells sticking around.

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just gonna turn this blog into a personal one bc
fuck it itâs tumblr who gives a shit
Someone whoâs never seen me have an â¨ARFID moment⨠got to see one last night lol
He made me a bowl of ramen, at my request because I was hungry and ramen is like, my main safe food. He makes it whenever iâm at his house because i donât like cooking in kitchens in houses i donât live in - even for something as simple as a 90¢ ramen pack lol
He comes back into the room, and I immediately notice the egg in the ramen. That one was fine, I love a good soft boiled egg.
Then he handed me the bowl and the smell hit me. He had added fritos to the ramen (something he apparently will do for himself? iâve never heard of this before lol) and it just absolutely wasnât working for me.
I started crying - hard. We had to have a whole conversation where i was apologizing for crying, thanking him for the food, but telling him âyou need to ask me before you add something like this.â
He offered to make me a new bowl, apologized, told me it was okay, told me i didnât have to eat it.
But I did.
I did eat it. And it took fucking FOREVER because I couldnât be actively breathing or have the bowl in my hand while I was, but I did eat it. I was also crying the entire time.
All except for three bites because thatâs when the nausea hit and I just couldnât do it anymore once that happened.
And yeah, it sucked. I donât like that I was brought to tears and nausea because of some fritos in a bowl of ramen - but i still ate it. I tried. I had the option not to, but I still did, and once i physically couldnât anymore I stopped.
Iâm not going to sit here and pretend that it was a cute, wholesome moment during any part of it. It wasnât. I was crying. I was nauseous. I finished eating and curled up on the bed and cried into a pillow.
ButâŚ
He never judged me. He apologized. He said he wouldnât do that again.
And I also ate something I never normally wouldâve.
He told me, âYou donât have to keep eating, itâs okay. Iâll make you a new bowl.â
I told him, âHow will I ever get better if I donât try?â
ARFID isnât fun, but itâs something Iâm trying to not let absolutely control my eating.
Anyways I just wanted to share that, lol