Go Home Samwise, You're Drunk

can you believe it? sping has spung

WHERE ARE MY GTA 5/GTA GIRLIES....AT

And re-read the same sentence because yeah it was THAT good. And I felt like I wasn't 1000% committed when I read it the first time.

they should allow you to report posts for being gauche or passé

the TSA's dick detector is the epitome of security theater. how many times have you ACTUALLY caught a woman trying to smuggle a small bomb in her panties

i mean average sized bomb

you can't come to my birthday party? aw dang, (remembers it's bad to guilt trip people) this doesn't matter to me at all (remembers to demonstrate that i am affected by you to affirm your positive presence in my life) but while you're away i will die (remembers not to guilt trip again) unpreventably. unrelated to you. don't worry about it. (remembers to express care through actions and not just words) you're in the will.

*sends out email I've been putting off* ah finally :). ah that's a weight off my shoulders :). ah I can relax an-- *receives response to email* what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuckkkk

went to a michael's only michael meeting thought it might be nice to convene with my fellow michaels but guess what WRONG I got kicked out because my full name is 'michael hunter' and it was 'scaring some of the michaels what if i am a michael hunter' ???? they clearly just don't like me??? fuming right now. i'll show them a michael hunter. i'll show them all

Are you doing okay? We missed you at the devil's sacrament. He mentioned you by name. Everyone was looking around and cheering until we realized you weren't there. If you need to talk I'm always here. At the aforementioned devil's sacrament.