Im not okay jumpscare

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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art blog(derogatory)
noise dept.
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trying on a metaphor

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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@unflavoredtruffles
Im not okay jumpscare

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let's develop a perfect plan
1. get cozy in bed
"nothing's stopping you from getting a flip phone again just do it" <- I Get the sentiment but the world has become more and more (esp since the COVID) smartphone dependent.
last month my brother, a life long touchscreen hater, had to get his first smartphone because he couldn't pay his rent without one since his bank website no longer allows him to use his personal card reader (given by his bank) to make payments. most public transports outside the main city Require that you use the App to get tickets. the other day I went to a brunch place that wouldn't let me order food without going through the App.
I personally think smartphones have ups and downs, and I won't lie I really like having Small Games in my pocket at all times but the way smartphones have become a necessity/requirement to live in society is so fucking annoying and honestly fucked up.
i can’t listen to misery business because i hate businesses
misery commune
i’m in the co op of misery let’s take it from the top
she got a body fuelled sustainably by all organic crops
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
A couple things I gotta add from the tags
1)
@futchbambi and @meneatyoghurt, add to that literally having an actual psychosis to contend with lmao. I did actually wander the mall just in case they moved it or I was somehow in the wrong area, deadass wasn't 100% sure that I was awake for a minute there
2)
@elamarth-calmagol
A WHOLEASS OIL RIG?????

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"Why must we Madonna/whore the vegetables?" is a phrase I just felt super glue itself in my lexicon immediately
like. not to harp upon about this but apparently challenge mode Impossible for any conversation about identity or representation: talk about a nonbinary person without mentioning the gender they were assigned at birth. go on. talk about them as nonbinary without implicitly or explicitly positioning them within a binary. try it
Writing Tip
because I see this everywhere and most people don’t know about it. The hyphen(-), the en-dash(–) and the em-dash(—) are three completely different things with completely different uses. If you write fanfiction, it’s likely that your readers won’t care, but if you want to submit a manuscript for publishing, you need to know the difference.
The hyphen (-) is the basic symbol you find on your keyboard, and it’s meant to only be used for hyphenated words (well-being, two-thirds).
The en-dash (–) is a slightly longer dash. It’s usually the width of an uppercase N, hence the name. You can find it by looking through the ‘insert symbol’ option in MS word or many word processors, and it is meant to be used to show a particular distance, or for intervals (May–August, 1900–1916, pages 12–22)
The em-dash (—) is what people most commonly use, but they refer to it as a hyphen. It’s the longest dash, about the size of an uppercase letter M, and you can either find it through the list of symbols in your word processor, or some word processors actually automatically transform two hyphens (–) into an em-dash (—). It is meant to be used as a break in the sentence, in a place where a comma, semicolon or colon would normally be used or as a break in dialogue. (Her niece—the daughter of her oldest sister—is the one over there.)
*All three types of dashes are normally meant to be used without any spaces on either side of the dash.
every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway
@kropotkindersurprise said:
it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there
beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
there is so much to learn about everything
how am I supposed to tell people that this is my favorite color specifically because of the funny hex code?
New idea for the Irish flag
Irish tricolour with #69b00b and #fa6607
the 69 boob faggot Irish flag 🫡
Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell
the only site in which it is normal and even encouraged to show your followers 10 flawless transparent pngs of delicious chinese food in a vertical line (every website should have a button that posts this)
i need combination noodles to live

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies
I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.
Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.
As a professional guard who always lies, don't worry about it, you're doing great.
Wilted Leaves Of Cabbage