11 Thoughts From A âConservative Christianâ About Marriage and Sexuality
1) Iâm for âtraditional marriage,â which doesnât automatically mean that Iâm against anything else. The bottom line is that I want a healthy marriage with my wife.
2) I donât believe the church has the right to write government laws, just as much as the government cannot write the churchâs laws. The church can inform policy, but we cannot impose a point of view on the individual choices of others. That would be an abusive, theocratic tyranny.
3) When it comes to marriage, the mission of the church is called to look at ourselves first. Before I even look at someone elseâs marriage (which is an odd thing to do), Iâm supposed to care about my own family and relationships to the best of my ability.Â
4) The church was meant to show that marriage between a man and a woman can be awesome. It is. But as it stands, the church is preoccupied with blame-shifting by inclusive, tribalistic language instead of examining where we have fallen short â and more importantly, where we could improve in our own homes.
5) I believe what the Bible says. The good stuff, the tough stuff, the weird stuff. If I only pick and choose what I like, then I donât really have a relationship with God, but a robot who answers to me. I trust that Godâs Word is good and glorious.
6) But itâs not my job to persuade you that the Bible is âlaw.â How would that even work? It would be the same as going to your house and ordering around you and your kids. My job is to testify to the goodness of Scripture by the degree I can live a Christ-empowered faith, however imperfectly, by His grace.
7) If youâre gay, I love you. If youâre divorced, I love you. If youâre transgender, I love you. If youâre asexual, I love you. Yet none of these labels are less or more important than the totality of who you are as a whole person. You are not your sexuality nor beholden to your relational past. I donât love you despite, because, for, or around these things. I love you because youâre made in the image of God, accorded dignity and worth and value simply because you were breathed into existence. It doesnât matter that we believe different things or have made different choices. What matters is that youâre a human being with the same hopes, insecurities, and quirks, like me. And as much as Iâm a mess, I hope youâll love me, too.
9) When a Christian says âI love you regardless,â that falsely presumes youâre somehow disadvantaged or devalued, and it makes me a âhero-saviorâ as if I get points for being near you. Itâs pretentious and inadvertently turns you into a project. I want to love you just because. I want to love you whether itâs popular or not. This is what Jesus did, and Iâm going where he would.
10) Every issue eventually terminates upon itself. Politics, sex, race, money, society â theyâre all very crucial matters, but parts to a whole. Theyâre pieces of a bigger picture. Every marriage will end: and so it has a place and a priority. What ultimately matters is how we will face God at the edge of eternity.
11) A last thing. I want you to know that the so-called âtraditional marriageâ is a beautiful union. Thatâs not to brag or hold it over you or to claim superiority. Itâs to say: Iâm sorry the church has only told you what weâre against instead of what weâre for. Iâm sorry weâve stood on the anti-ground of moral opposition. We have hardly offered you anything but âStop it.â I want to be a champion for the good. And dear friend, God is very, very good.
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