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i was born in the right generation i love lexapro and vibrators

My dear friend Johnathan Harker has begun his lovely food blog as he travels through the countryside of Transylvania. Hope his journey is smooth and his business concludes swiftly!

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

tiramisu

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."

tomorrow i fix my life #fixmylife #tomorrow

The most intuitive, most versatile, most adaptive, and greatest artists of our time are using their skills to create discomforting, high-concept abstractions of analog horror characters and Pack Of 500 Cigarettes in Tomodachi Life

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

Fuck the haters. I believe in you

ever since i was a little girl i knew i was tired