Robert Zombert

theres a pink blue and white flower at rhe grocery store i have to make. a joke

Grabbing an elf by the ears like handlebars and riding them but not like in a sexual way i just crash into a wall killing us both

the mercedes clr incident at le mans is one of the only racing crashes i feel comfortable laughing at because a) nobody was seriously injured and b) it is a little funny that mercedes watched their car do That and were like "okay. uh. you know what we're just never doing le mans ever again"

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror

A crucial part of the bookstore experience is saying hi to all the books you’ve already read

a CRITTER? Carrying a BERRY?? Across a BRAMBLE VINE?????