Robert Zombert

a CRITTER? Carrying a BERRY?? Across a BRAMBLE VINE?????

Call my pussy charlie kirk the way it’s gushing and squirting

we can’t let henry ford win

the literal devil. and i really believe that

from like 9 to 12 i would try to fall asleep by ‘making’ a new seinfeld episode in my head. i would open with a jerry seinfeld standup bit that was almost nonsense (its not like i can write standup like he can at 10 years old) and then it would be jerry and george arguing about a girlfriend i made up with some kind of pointless issue (”she wears bigger pants than me, jerry! everyones gonna know, who wears the pants!”) and then kramer would walk in. by that time id be almost out

I should also say i was ‘typing’ out the dialogue with my hands as if they were on a keyboard, but my hands were across my chest like a vampire

my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor