Priest of Salvation

But whipped cream makes me break out.

Did you also cry at that point 10 minutes into Up?

Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to use those kinds of words?

Do you know what some female spiders do after sex?

Does this mean we’re married now?

Don’t worry, my cat likes to watch.

HASHTAG CLIMAXING.

Have you ever considered coming in second so someone else can come first for once?

Hi ho, hi ho! It’s off to sleep I go!

I don’t know where you learned that from but please don’t go there looking for new ideas again.

I think you have some mashed potatoes on your upper lip. Let me get it for you.

I’ll tell you who I’m fantasizing about if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about.

Is it in yet?

Is it OK if I tell my friends about this?

It’s nice being in bed with someone I don’t have to inflate!

Just use your finger, its bigger.

Maybe sex ed classes should tell people how to last longer.

No, I’m not going to play you the flute while you’re going down on me.

Okay, you be Mermaid Man and I’ll be Barnacle Boy.

On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.

Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!

So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

The safe word is ‘Michael Cera’.

Wait, do I call you daddy or are you calling me daddy?

What the hell kind of noise was that?!

Wow, I never saw that in sex ed.

Yeah my pets come in and out of this room all the time. Don’t worry about it.

Yeah, I do. … sei irritante … you know what that means? That means you’re annoying.