Surprise, It's Anxiety

needless to say I am hopelessly dependent on The Character

i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c

thank you for putting a random white boy on my post i guess

OP NO. ADDING A WHITE BOY TO A VAT OF ACID CREATES A "THE JOKER.:

fuck.

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

A CENTURY AGO

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

just because you havent seen me post about The Character in a while doesn't mean i'm any less insane about them in private

BABY DOES NOT NEED SMOKO

World Heritage Post

My body is already an inhospitable environment, there’s no way a friggin baby would be able to survive in it

Also babies can’t even fight, how would they fare in battle against my inner demons?

sand tiger sharks

on it, boss lady