An exhausted soul

I’m horrified at myself because I randomly decided on 4:12AM for an obscure and horrible hour in the morning, but after I posted I glanced down at the clock and 

There are two things I love about this post: 

i really wish people would remember that like… being a woman is 100% a damned-if-you-do damned-if-you-dont scenario, always. like, as a basic example: women who do not adhere to cultural markers of femininity wrt to their physical appearance are socially punished for it, women who adhere to cultural markers of femininity are socially rewarded for it but adhering to cultural markers of femininity is not some sort of easy walk in the park either. because they are oppressive and time-consuming and at times physically damaging (eg high healed shoes). and while it is understandable as a response to the dumb “femmephobia” “red lipstick is empowering me” shit and also just the personal and often painful experiences of gnc women being scorned and ostracized by feminine women, it’s sort of essential if youre gonna do real feminist analysis not write these women off as vapid handmaiden enforcers of the patriarchy and to understand that the woman who is scared to leave her house without wearing makeup is suffering the same forced and systemic oppression as the woman who loses out on a job because she didnt wear makeup to the interview (which is an actual documented phenomenon, in case you were wondering)

I plant roots so deeply in the people I love that I always lose a piece of myself when they go.

“I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms? Or would you leave the snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? And if you would, would you notice how that tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind. Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel. See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds.”

#ancient college student proverb

Daredevil: I cannot  reveal my powers to anyone. Not even to my loved ones. My secret must remain hidden at any cost