ftm guide and resource centre

It’s not okay to have your child be scared of you. That isn’t respect. That’s control. 

It’s not okay to have your child obey you at all times in order for you to love them. That isn’t high standards. That’s manipulation.

It’s not okay to force your child become what you wanted to become. That isn’t wanting the best for them. That’s living vicariously through them.

It’s not okay to take away your child’s basic needs as a punishment. That isn’t teaching them. That’s hindering them. 

It’s not okay to dictate your child’s sexuality or gender. That isn’t normalizing them. That’s repressing them.

It’s not okay to berate your child’s appearance or intelligence for being what you think is sub-par. That isn’t toughening them. That’s bullying them.

It’s not okay to take out your stress on your child. That isn’t parenting. That is abusing.

I work at a greeting card shop, a mom-and-pop (but really single mom shop) kind of place and I have to add to this! 

Companies have just started to make wedding cards featuring same-sex couples in the last two years. This year for the first time a major distributor made same sex Valentines Day cards! I was over the moon!  

This is from Papyrus! They are a great card company that you can get at loads of stores like Target. 

BUT THEIR WEDDING ONES ARE BRAND NEW AND AWESOME. 

See that matching set of ties? That was our best selling wedding card about four to six months after marriage equality became legal in our state! Do you know how many nervous old women I had to help pick out a same-sex card? LIKE SO MANY. 

I had a man in his 90′s who was super nervous even ask me (quote), “I don’t mean to be offensive I just don’t know the word for a girl who likes girls and I don’t know what card to get my great niece.” And I was like, “The word is lesbian, you aren’t being at all offensive, and this card here will be perfect.” BEST DAY OF MY WORKING LIFE OKAY. 

Meri-Meri cards also have great same sex cards!! The Mr. and Mr. banner is also one of our best selling wedding cards! 

BUT HOLD THE FUCK UP.

BECAUSE LET’S TALK ABOUT ANOTHER CUSTOM CARD SHOP LESS THAN A BLOCK AWAY FROM US.

Ladyfingers Letterpress!! Run by a woke as fuck lesbian couple!! 

You want a card for a transgender family member? FUCK YEAH YOU DO. 

You want a polygamous/bisexual inclusive card? HELL YES. 

You want to remind your family that you are the GAY COUSIN??? 

DON’T SUBSCRIBE TO ANY GENDER? ANY SEXUALITY? STILL QUESTIONING? LOOK AT THIS. 

FUCK YEAH INCLUSIVE GREETING CARDS.

This is the sign that broke my heart.

Trans kids are not a threat.

“We both are in the middle, and nobody teases us for it.”

       The journey to and through testosterone is one of the most challenging, exhausting, and rewarding adventures I have taken thus far in my life. Personally, I’ve had kind of a love/hate or hit/miss relationship with my hormones. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change going on them, but I would change how I treated my body during the beginning stages. I am currently on 5 cc of testosterone that I inject weekly. I am terrified of needles, but more terrified of the patches (thanks that one House episode where the man nearly killed his family). *Warning: I’m going to be telling products I looked for that kind of info when I started my transition, so sorry for the whole infomercial vibe*

      Pro Tip #1: Exercise. Work out. Get your body moving. I was lazy and only fed my body fried foods or take out. That is extremely unhealthy regardless of your hormone status, but especially when you’re on testosterone. I learned that the hard way. When I wasn’t working out consistently, I found myself to be more moody and irritable than the T already made me. I became even more dysphoric because I was gaining fat in all the places I’m self-conscious of. This may not be the case for everyone, but it certainly was for me. 

       I don’t have a lot of time to dedicate to the gym since I’m in my last semester of college and these capstone projects and work are taking up all of my time. Plus getting up at 6 am to go reminds me of the military, which makes me feel depressed. I found the Insanity Max30 videos, and they only take 30 mins out of your day, so it was perfect for me. Find your muse. Get moving.

       Pro Tip #2: Shower more regularly. If you’re one of those people who are able to be one with nature and smell good, then ignore this one. If you’re like me and sasquatch himself couldn’t compete with you on how bad you smell then please read on. About a week after I had my first shot of T, I woke up and was like what the hell is that smell? Yep, it was me. I realized that the smallest of tasks made me smell terrible. I don’t sweat heavily either, so this really came as a shock for me. 

       Turns out I apparently have the gene for extreme hair growth (even though that was NOT the case before), so soap became an issue. Nothing would really make me feel clean. I started using Dr. Squatch soaps about 2 months into T. It has masculine smell options and suds up well. I know a company called Mack Soaps is run by a fellow member of the trans* community, but I haven’t tried them yet. 

        Pro Tip #3: DON’T SKIP SHOTS OR BLOOD WORK. I never thought I would miss a shot. Testosterone is the one thing I had always wanted, and so there is no way I’d skip one right? Wrong. I did. A lot. I would be anxious about the needle or just forget. It really gave me bad mood swings, and eventually I could feel my ovaries trying to kick back into action (maybe that was just in my head, but it terrified me). I also recently had a scare with blood work. My clinic shut down that I had been going to, and was too scared to go somewhere else. I started to have pains in upper abdomen. Turns out my spleen was enlarged because of my T. I got it regulated, but don’t ignore blood work. It’s so important.

       Pro Tip #4: Alright. This isn’t really a tip, but I get asked a lot about hair products, so here ya go: I am stuck on Dirty by Lush right now. It’s one of the few I’ve used that washes out really easy, but also holds well. It also has an earthy smell, so bonus! I like the Uppercut Featherweight (white can) as well, but I’m not a huge fan of the smell of that one.