Unpicking the tangles and untangling the pickles

Literally no one who follows me is going to know what this means, but HBomberguy, a Youtuber known for Video Essays about pop culture and gaming made a promise that he would live stream himself playing Donkey Kong 64, in its entirety (including picking up every single banana) and all money would go to a UK charity for trans youth (Mermaids) and his initial goal was $3,000 and now it’s been 26 hours into the stream and he’s already over $51k. I just need people to know about this https://m.twitch.tv/hbomberguy

so the national lottery here in the uk donates a bit of their money to a few designated charities, so basically every time you buy a lottery ticket some of that £2 or £3 goes towards charity. mermaids just so happens to be one of those charities and of course, a lot of people are not happy about that. more on that later

for those who don’t know already mermaids are a brilliant bunch. it was founded by a woman with a trans daughter (she made a ted talk about it here) and it helps trans kids who are looking to transition, trans kids who have unsupportive parents or may have even been kicked out, and has resources for the parents of trans kids and places like schools on how they can support a trans student/worker

enter graham linehan. he wrote a few shows like father ted and the it crowd. he’s also notorious for being incredibly transphobic and never shutting up about his hatred for trans people on his twitter.

so, what did he do? well, with his army of mumsnet dwellers, he got them all to spam the lottery with about a fuckton of emails telling them to stop funding Mermaids. not because they want them to think of the children, but rather they want them to stop thinking about the children. and in all their can-i-speak-to-the-manager-hair glory, they got the lottery to reconsider their grant.

mr hbomberguy (you may know him as the man behind hits such as Sherlock Is Garbage (and here’s why), and Fallout 3 Is Garbage (and here’s why)) sees this, thinks “graham what the everliving fuck” and also thinks “oh yeah i never finished donkey kong 64” which is where we are now.

so his goal is to 101% donkey kong 64. which, to my knowledge, takes around 33-36 hours to do. at the time of writing this he has had one sleep break and has just started another

may i also note the 10k goal was to erase graham linehan from existence

in short, fuck graham linehan

LMAO yessss, kate harrison!!!

Someone: What are you sorry for?

Me:

“The following is a list of people who can suck it. Number One: The Joker. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Number Two: Cluemaster. Fuck you, you stole my bit, and I will be like a plague unto your house. Number Three: King Tut. You also stole my bit, but did it while killing people and got me arrested for murder. Also, I’m, like, 93% sure you’re a white guy and your costume is racist.

“Number Four: The Scarecrow. I know you ate my leftover Chinese, Jon, even though I wrote my name on it. I was saving that for lunch. I had to eat a goddamn peanut butter and jelly sandwich like a five-year-old. It was all you had in the hideout. For fuck’s sake, go shopping, not all of us can live like a bridge troll.

“Number Five: The Penguin. You- No, no, wait, wait… That one should be crossed out. He replaced that and apologized. Never mind, Oswald, you’re fine. Drinks at 7:00 tomorrow, right?

“Anyway, where was…? Ah, yes. Number Six: The Mad Hatter. You carded me and left me like that for six hours because I, and I quote, ‘would not stop talking about Mythbusters.’ Well, excuse me for trying to make intellectually stimulating conversation on a level you could understand. I suppose every time you prattle on about mome raths and borogoves it’s goddamn Shakespeare? Well… Well, it’s Carroll, but… Oh, you know what I mean!

“Number Seven: Catwoman. You left me hanging by one hand from a ledge five stories up and holding a twenty-pound bag of jewels and very pointy  objets d'art while you ‘distracted’ the Dark Knight. I know you were making out with him, Selina. You were gone for fifteen minutes. My shoulder almost dislocated. Very unprofessional.

“Number Eight: Kite Man.”

Here the Riddler pauses, lifting his narrowed gaze to glare at the camera, voice dropping to an ominous tone.

“You know what you did…”

His demeanor shifts quickly, and he’s back to reading from his list almost cheerfully.

“Number Nine! Th-”

He’s interrupted by a crashing noise in the background and looks over his shoulder just an instant before a deep voice angrily growls, “Riddler!”

“Oh, for the love of-” He turns to glare at the camera, speaking quickly. “Number Nine: Batman! Interrupting me while I’m on television making very important- Hm-mmph!”

Batman: Riddler, you’ve hijacked the TV airwaves and you know that’s wrong but I think this is actually theraputic. So I’m giving you five minutes, and then I’m taking you to Arkham

This starts a dialogue with a number of other youtube users who both attempt to answer his riddles and pose their own riddles in return.

“Riddle me this… who’s the biggest asshole in games development this side of Ubisoft? It’s Daniel Mockridge who screwed the dev team, myself included, out of our royalties for Riddle of the Minotaur-”

Two days later Jim Sterling is calling Mockridge out, there’s a gofundme for the other people on the dev team, and Nigma’s halfway to funding the spiritual sequel on Kickstarter.

May I allow add that BTAS Riddler invented Wifi for fun? In the comics, he invented the smart phone before we had them here in reality.