uhmlexis

might fuck around and cry myself to sleep later due to my unhealthy self-loathing mindset

Nothing can match this energy

I have to reblog this every time I see it, because there has never been a more iconic moment ever.

I still get goosebumps

I’m physically not capable of scrolling past this without reblogging

neither am i so here you go

my whole body shook

could u imagine inventing butter, and you take a big spoonful and ur like 😏 then that shit hit your tongue and….. 😰….. 😨 ….. ur done! 😱🤢 soooooo nasty! ugh! ohhh it’s repulsive! but then ur thinking 🤔i spent 16 hours making this little bowl of this filth, not gonna just toss it! no way! 😑 so u grab some of your leftover bread that you grew yourself on a bread tree. spread some of that Gunk on that bad boy. 😧 bottoms up!!! …….😳❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️ it’s amazing! it’s so delicious! how can something so horrendous by itself, make this bread so much better❓❗️❓❗️ you losing your damn mind

i need to learn how to play this

I want the rest 😩😩

Okay but when will girls be praised for cleaning the whole house and cooking for the whole family and being organized and taking care of younger siblings/children the same way families praise their boys when they wash their own fucking dishes.

This is the only day you can reblog this. Do it for Weed Moon.

if teenagers are ever being mean to you just pull out any miscellaneous item you have on you at the moment and make up some bullshit term to scare them

teenagers: we are going to punch you me *pulling out spoon*: have you lot ever been Uncle Jimmied

teenagers: we are going to kick you me *pulling out an electric toothbrush*: have you all ever experienced a Norwegian Christmas…

teenagers: we are going to unlawfully take your money me *taking car keys out of my pocket*: say, have any of you ever had a Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch…….

teenagers: we are going to call you mean names me *taking Costco brand pair of socks out of my purse*: it’s been a while since i gave someone a Tropic Of Capricorn………….

teenagers: we’re violent just for the fun of it ! me *microwaving a hard-boiled egg*: you’re all about to get a Matthew Broderick Jr.

teenagers: we are going to spread rumors about you me *getting out my tube of rash cream*: don’t force me to give you a Chinese Whistling Garden

teenagers: we are about to physically assault you me *pulling out cantaloupe*: seems like you rapscallions have never heard of the Screaming Astronaut

teenagers: we are going to commit felonies me *pulling out handfuls of spaghetti*: I’m sorry you all have to experience the Kansas Turnpike …

teenagers: i am preparing to steal an automotive vehicle me *taking out a roll of dental floss*: keep this sort of behavior up and you’re going to get the Rick Astley’s Crochet

teenagers: i plan to do acts of physical hooliganism! me *takes a Bop It out of my pocket*: I don’t normally do this but I’ll enjoy giving you a North Carolina Senator G.K. Butterfield

if theres a day i dont reblog this assume i died

when bae tells you to quit clowning around

when you try to read a text on the landline 

when you write boobies on the calculator in math class and you must show everyone in your immediate vicinity

thats a wrap. great job everyone.thanks for your. help

The only one of these things worth reblogging

Can I be adopted by this father?

YOU???? YOU. YOU STOLE MY JUMPER.

i DROVE you HOME in my OWN CAR because i LOVE you and THIS is the thanks i get

wtf this is so cute

why does this have this many notes

Brb I’m learning this.

I love haim

who is she? does she have a contract? she got bars

Whoa, I didn’t realize that it was so deliberate, I honestly thought it was unconscious

Scary, scary.