*DEACTIVATED*

Hai everyone, just like the title says- I’m leaving this account behind. There’s a couple of reasons I’m leaving this account behind, and most of it is just because I felt so much pressure to write/post, and was getting a few insistent messages that didn’t much to help my mental health. 

Another reason is that when I do write, feedback was scarce- people were reading but not commenting, and I had no idea what people liked/disliked. I know this is a huge issue in the fanfiction community, and it’s one of the things I hope would change. I like to think I’m pretty low-maintenance, I just post when I write, and answer asks, but when all the comments are just “write more” and all the asks are “we need part 2″- it gets really discouraging. 

I also wanted this account to be as profesh as possible so I limited myself in what I could reblog, and it was difficult bc this is not my primary account so I couldn’t reply to comments on my fics. 

It sucks bc I was just gearing up to post another series (Lost & Found), but I just felt discouraged with my writing so I ended up deleting the first part I posted. I’m making another account where I’m going to be more myself, and post future writings there. I haven’t decided if I wanna delete the account, but if I do, I’ll move all my fics to my new account. 

I love and appreciate all of you. Thank you again for such a great time here. Also I make it sound like I’m leaving forever (I’m not I’m just trying to be more myself). I’ll be at captaincvans from now on. 

Characters- John Winchester,Sam Winchester,Dean Winchester, Sister Winchester

Warnings- Angst,Death,Swearing 

Y/N’s POV

The alarm clock rang with a shrill noise and in a classical conditioned way my hand automatically went  to smother the clock. I closed my eyes for 5 minutes more and then got out of bed with a groan. I was just in the process of getting my things when I heard Sam groan from the other bed. I walked over to his side and shook his leg.

“Dude, wake up! John wants us to be there in the car in 10.”

Sam opened his eyes as best as he could and nodded at me. I looked over at the bed where my eldest brother was snoring away to glory, with a mischievous smile I went to his side and jumped on him.

“Aaaaaahhhhh! Y/N!” Dean screamed at the top of his voice.

Sam was already on the floor, laughing his butt off. I looked at Dean innocently and said “Hey you told me to wake you up in any way possible since you don’t want your ass handed to you on platter by Dad.”

“And this was the best way possible!” Dean shouted.

“Yeah it is very effective, you are awake and your ass is still attached with the rest of your body. I think it is a win-win situation, what do you say Sam?”

“Oh I do agree, she saved you ass Dean. High-five!” Sam raised his hand to me and I high fived him with a loud noise.

Dean got out of bed and started grumbling in monotonous tone. “I hate both of you.” He picked up his bag and went to the bathroom to take his leisurely shower.

John chose that very moment to enter the room. Whenever he came in front of me I could feel the temperature drop in the room. It is not even this cold when we are hunting a ghost.

“What is going on in here?” His voice boomed across the small room and it sent shudders down my spine.

Sam took a deep breath and chose to confront the sergeant in front of him “We were just getting ready Sir.”

“It doesn’t look that way to me and I am sure the culprit of this indiscipline is you girl.”

I shook my head and hid behind Sam in fear and embarrassment. But Sam seemed to be as confident as ever. “Dad, Dean is in the bathroom already, we will get ready in 5 minutes and come out, it won’t take a lot of time.”

“No, after Dean you go and get ready. Y/n will pack the car.”

“Dad let her fresh-”

“Its okay Sammy.” I interrupted him. “Its extremely cold as it is, I don’t really want to take a bath.” Saying this I picked up a few bags and walked out of the room. I wasn’t fully out of earshot so I eavesdropped on Sam and John’s conversation.

“Dad What the hel-”

“Sam enough! Drop this topic of conversation right this minute.”

“Why do you always treat her in such a ridiculous manner! She is your daughter for god sake!”

“She is not my daughter and she is not your sister!” John said with a ferocious tone and immediately tear pricked the sides of my eyes and threatened to fall down on my cheeks.

I refused to listen anymore and walked out into the parking lot where the Impala was parked. I had always known that I was not a Winchester since my biological family died at the hands of a pack of vampires. I was five at the time and John was investigating the case, he couldn’t protect my family but he took me in and raised me as his daughter. Dean and Sam have always treated me like their little sister and I have always looked up to them as my big brothers but I am not a Winchester and john doesn’t give two hoots about me . I have no idea why has he kept me with him if he doesn’t love me. He never did.

DEAN’S POV

There was a slight tension in the car. I could taste it . I looked in the backseat and saw my two siblings sleeping on their respective windows. I smiled at them fondly and remembered this morning’s shenanigans. Bloody idiots.

I saw Dad look at the backseat through the rear view mirror and suddenly he shouted”Y/N!”

This caused both Y/n and Sam to wake up simultaneously.

“Sir?” Y/n spoke in a timid and groggy voice.

“This is not a holiday that we are on. Stay awake and be alert. We have a hunt tonight.”

I looked at my father with sheer astonishment. Sam was sleeping right next to her and Dad had not said a word to him.Not to mention even I dozed off for a few hours.  

“Dad she has been battling a cold and has not been able to slee-”

“I don’t care Dean.” He Interrupted me. “She needs to grow up.”

I looked at her and saw her red rimmed glassy eyes and gave her a sympathetic smile. I also noticed Sam was looking at Dad with anger in his eyes. He then turned his attention towards y/n,reached out and held her small hand in his and kissed it.

After an hour we stopped for gas at the roadside. Y/n excused herself to go to the washroom. Dad started filing up baby while Sam and I went to the local mart to get a few items. I noticed Sam was still fuming.

“What’s wrong Sammy?”

Sam took a deep breathe before answering. “Okay but don’t freak out okay. I think the three of us should separate from dad for a while. For Y/n. He is treating her like crap and it’s really taking a toll on her.”

“Yeah I saw what happened in the car. He doesn’t treat her properly, but walking away from Dad is that a good idea?”

“Dean, in the morning he said that Y/n is not his daughter and she is not our sister.”

I looked at him with wide eyes and a jolt of anger suddenly rose in me. “He did what?!”

“I can’t even look at him Dean. This is too much. And this is too much for Y/N/N. Please let’s go somewhere for her sake.”

“I think you are right Sammy. I think its time we prioritize her.”

We walked back towards the car and resumed our earlier seats. I cannot believe that Dad would say something like that about someone who is so sweet. Its true Y/n has always been sarcastic but sweet. She is unbelievably loyal and I love her more than my own life. If she is hurt, I will make sure that the one who caused her this hurt gets demolished. She might not be blood but she is family and more importantly she is my little sister.The one who takes care of us and loves us with her inch she has got. I can’t let Dad beat her down.

Y/N’S POV

We reached the motel in the evening. All of us were exhausted but we somehow did research for another 2 hours. I even got to have a bath, a privilege I had been denied in the morning. We collected our facts and were ready for the hunt at night. I was still a little sick so I decided to bunk with Dean and close my eyes for a bit. I was still hurting over the words John had said earlier this morning but now was not the town for me throw myself a pity party.

I lied down next to dean and closed my eyes. I suddenly felt him shift as he lifted his arms and gathered me in it. I snuggled further into his chest and felt him kiss the top of my head.

Somehow and I still don’t know how I started crying in his chest. Hot tears burned my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. My breath hitched and I was full on sobbing in my brother’s chest. Dean looked down at me with concern but did not seem shocked.

“You heard what Dad said about you didn’t you?” he asked gently.

i nodded at him. Not able to trust my voice. He shoved my face is his chest and kissed my hair while stroking it gently,

“Y/N, I want you to listen to me very carefully. You are my little sister. You will always be my little sister. Me and Sam love you very much and I don’t even for a moment want you to think that you are not loved by us. You are family kiddo.”

I cried further in his chest while he stroked my back.

“And after the hunt is over. Men, you and Sasquatch are going on a holiday. Just the three of us.”

I looked up at him with pleasant surprised expression etched on my face. “Really?”

Dean smiled at me sadly and said”Yes really. We need a holiday. Now come on go to sleep we have a few vampires to kill.”

Thinking about our holiday I drifted to sleep.

GENERAL POV

The night was eerie quiet. The four Winchesters were ready with their machetes, ready to chop off the heads of any fanged thing they saw. Each of them had taken their stance as was decided prior to the hunt.

“Ok everybody be very careful,these vampires are difficult to kill. Stay sharp stay focused. Dean you are with me. Sam and Y/n you will go the other direction. Y/n do not loose focus.” John ordered the three and the plan was set to unfold.

Sam and Y/n went their own way while John stayed with Dean. An hour had gone and Dean had not seen any vampire, John was also losing patience and was quite confused.  

“Dad where the hell are the bloodsuckers?”

“I honestly don’t know.” John replied

Suddenly a loud shriek came from the side Y/n and Sam had ventured into. Both the elder Winchesters ran to that side only to meet Sam and Y/n halfway. Sam’s arm was bleeding rapidly and Y/n had a slight head wound. Both of them were panting hard. Dean’s big brother mode came and he immediately went to check on his siblings. But john started the interrogation right away.

“What the hell happened and how did you get hurt so badly Sam?”

Dean was now checking Y/n’s head wound and was cradling her head in his hand.

“Dad the pack somehow knew where we were going to be, they were already waiting for us. They attacked straight away and we killed as many as we could. We barely got out of there.”

Suddenly he turned his attention towards Y/n. “What about you miss? Why on earth is my son bleeding like this while you are still intact?”

“DAD!” Both the sons screamed at their father in fury.

“Shut up both of you! You have mollycoddled her enough. Because of you my son could have died. You are really ungrateful and a ridiculous hunter. I cannot believe I took you in as my daughter.”

“OK dad that is enough!” shouted Sam. Y/n was full on crying now. She seemed to have glued her eyes to the ground.

“It’s because of her I am alive, she literally was a superhero out there. She killed 5 vamps alone and then dragged me out of there. Had it not been for her,I would have died.

Dean rose to his full height and looked at his dad straight in the eye“You have always treated her unfairly and I am fed up of this attitude of yours! She is my little sister and I swear I will hit you if you say a word against her.”

Y/n walked towards John and looked at him with teary eyes “Do I really mean that little to you?

John was contemplating on what to say. He knew he was harsh on her.

What happened next was totally unexpected out of nowhere a vampire jumped at John and another one jumped behind Sam and Dean. Y/n took out her machete and was ready to attack the vampire in front of her. After an intense fight when both the vampires had fallen dead. Y/n was still on the ground.

The machete that she had been holding during the fight the vamp had somehow stabbed her with it in the stomach.

DEAN’S POV

I saw my sister on the ground grasping for air. I knelt beside her and gently spoke to her.

“Y/n/n what’s wrong?”

Y/n smiled tightly at us and showed us the wound on her stomach.

“Oh god. Sweetheart look at me!”

Sam knelt down next to her on the other side and took off his flannel.

“Here Dean wrap her wound with this, it will stop the bleeding. Sweetie listen we need to get you to hospital. The three of us will carry you.”

Me and Sam were just about to pick her up, when she said in a timid voice.”Stop I am not going to make it.”

Tears which were pricking my eyes rolled down my cheeks and I saw my own grief mirrored on Sam’s face. “Don’t you dare say that. You are a Winchester. You will survive.”

I noticed that Dad was frozen behind us but I couldn’t care less.

She put her hand on my cheek and wiped a few of my tears. “I love you both very much. Thank you for keeping me. I was really luck to have you two as my elder brothers.

And then I broke down right there. Sam was sobbing too while holding’s Y/n’s upper body.

“Sweetheart,you can’t go yet. Who will wake me up in the morning? Who will nerd out with Sam over books. You know I can’t listen to him talk about books and we have to go on our holiday. You can’t leave us. I love you too much. We have so much to do!” and I sobbed my heart out

Y/n smiled at us and with a shaky breath she asked me to lean forward. I did as she asked and felt her lips peck my cheek and she did the same with Sam. She looked at John and said “Thank you for keeping me, I know I am not family. But you still raised me.”

With this she closed her eyes. I felt my heart break right there. Just a few hours before we were planning our holiday and now she was dead in my little brother’s arms. My little brother who was cradling her body and whispering things to her while crying fully. He paid no attention to his arm as he cried his heart out. After all I lost my little sister and he lost his best friend.

I turned around to find John still frozen in the spot. I lounged at him and punched him in the face. “It was because of you Dad, it because of you she felt like she is not family. I hate you!”

I then turned around and sat next to my little brother with my little sister who was not here anymore. My sarcastic sweet sister had died and I had no idea how I was going to live.

Tags-

@u-snavi​ @winchesters-favorite-girl​ @dreamin-of-somewhere-else​ @bellero​ @spnsisimagines​ @supernotnaturalcas​ @supernatural-jackles​ @mersuperwholocked-lowlife​

Rules: We’re snooping on your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs then choose 10 people.

Choke by Hybrid

Genocidal Crush by Beastmilk

Higher Love by Steve Winwood

Lost Boys by The 69 Eyes

Desire (GW Childs Mix) by Gene Loves Jezebel

Wait by NoMBe

Reptile by The Church

Spökstad by Kent

Blind Hearts by Clan of Xymox

Driver’s Seat by Sniff ‘n the Tears

@transilvanian-hangover @spitch0 @ghospice @1997cosmo @sewer-clown-hype @ill-skillsgard @whiskehorange @whovian45810 @decaying-loving-livingzombie @kiss-me-fat-boi

Potions - Puscifer

Hooker with a Penis - Tool

Goodbye - Slipknot

Third Eye - Tool

Buttercup - Jack Stauber

Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

Swamp Song - Tool

Man Overboard - Puscifer

Chaos and Earthquakes - Nonpoint

Eat the Elephant - A Perfect Circle

As I’ve said before, I love Tool and Maynard James Keenan and this just provs it 😂

My playlist is…interesting to say the least lol.

1. Bad Girls by M.I.A. 2. Spooky Scary Skeletons by Andrew Gold 3. Machete Remix by Daddy Yankee 4. Chains Remix by Nick Jonas 5. Underneath the Stars by The Cure 6. Duel of the Fates by John Williams 7. Love You Like A Love Song by Selena Gomez & The Scene 8. Pray (Empty Gun) by Bishop Briggs 9. Shape of You by Ed Sheeran 10. do re mi by Blackbear

I’ll tag @slasher-piss @8amaranth8 @twistednightshade @tinydonutsblog @yummy-guts @forging-towards-the-sunset @scary-hoe 

1. Jealous by nick Jonas

2. Sad song by Mike posner

3. Sweet but psycho by Ava marx

4. Scream (Casey’s death)

5. Careless whisper by George Michaels

6. Bad Liar by imagine dragons

7. Friday the 13th playlist

8. Dance with me

9. I like em big

10. Unchained melody by righteous brothers

1. Wasteland, baby by hozier

2. Side to Side by ariana grande

3. Warriors by imagine dragons

4. Trampoline by shaed

5. Dinner & Diatribes by hozier

6. Join is for a bite by JT music

7. Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels by todrick hall

8. This is Halloween by the citizens of Halloween

9. Better now by post malone

10. Cant go to hell by sin shake sin

1. Look what you made me do (Taylor Swift)

2. Seal Lullaby (Eric Whitacre)

3. Bad Boy (Cascada)

4. Trouble Maker (Olly Murs)

5. Gasoline (Halsey)

6. Disturbia (Rhianna)

7. Gives You Hell (All American Rejects)

8. Natural (Imagine Dragons)

9. Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing (Set It Off)

10. High Hopes (P!ATD)

1. Picture (Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow)

2. Dead Girl Walking Reprise (Cast of Heathers) 

3. Teenage Dream (Katy Perry)

4. Whoa Mama (Cast of Bright Star) 

5. Ex-Old Man (Kristen Kelly) 

6. Want Me (Jasmine Rae) 

7. Lets Fight (Julie Roberts) 

8. A Little Wicked (Valerie Broussard) 

9. Little Smirk (Theory Of A Deadman) 

10. Your Love Is My Drug (Kesha) 

Tags: 

Human race (Three Days Grace)

Dou (Tinyghost)

6:00 (Grandson)

Soap (melanie martinez)

Natural (imagine dragons)

Centuries (fall out boy)

Stigmata (grandson)

Stressed out (Twenty One Pilots)

Let it bleed (unlike pluto, feat. cristina gatti)

Lovely (billie Eilish, with Khalid)

2. We are the Champions (Queen)

3. Meet Me Inside (Hamilton)

4. Time to dance (Panic! At the Disco)

5. Famous Last Words (MCR)

6. What’d I Miss (Hamilton)

7. The Pitiful Children (Be More Chill)

8. Collar Full (Panic! At the Disco)

9. Judgement (TryHardNinja)

10. The Resistance (Skillet)

2. The Bidding (Tally Hall.)

3. Brave as a Noun (AJJ)

4. Happy Pills (Weathers)

5. Advice (Cavetown)

6. Evelyn Evelyn (Evelyn Evelyn)

7. Brain Stew (Green Day)

8. Now (Little Shop of Horrors Cast)

9. xanny (Billie Eilish)

10. Mr. Blue Sky (Electric Light Orchestra)

2. M.O.N.E.Y (The 1975)

3. Pink (No Rome)

4. Antichrist (The 1975)

5. Gold Medal Ribbon (Pierce the Veil)

6. Disappear (BeaBadooBee)

7. Cha Cha (Freddie Dredd)

8.Everybody Hates Me (The Japanese House)

9.She Way Out (The 1975)

10. Black (Pale Waves)

I clearly have a limited taste in music (I recommend all of these songs and bands)

1. Sweet Home Alabama // Lynyrd Skynyrd 2. Mamma Mia // Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again (I have the original too, tho) 3. Alejandro // Lady Gaga 4. Hellfire // The Hunchback of Notre Dame Musical 5. I Just Can’t Wait To Be King // The Lion King Movie 6. The Death of Gavroche // Les Miserables (slow tear) 7. Faithfully // Journey 8. A Year Without Rain // Selena Gomez (it was a phASE, MOM) 9. A Cautionary Tale // Mean Girls Musical 10. Breakeven // The Script

I swear I have a better taste in music than this gives away. Pls believe me.

Tagging:

Very Nice - Seventeen

Dumb & Dumber - iKON

8 - Billie Eilish

Serious (Reprise) - Legally Blonde the Musical

Only Look at Me - Taeyang

Satisfied - Hamilton

Just Give Me a Reason - P!nk

Run - EXO

Never Be Alone - Shawn Mendes 

One Thing Right - Marshmello & Kane Brown 

really @thejemersoninferno only 6??

(THEY COUNT AS ONE)

^^They count as one, ok…FIGHT ME 😂

@spnhollis @naaladareia @captstefanbrandt @stacie-marie-bloom @zazasblogxx

This actually took a while because I don’t have very many celebrity crushes… but here’s what I came up with

Series Masterlist // My Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Feral!Omega!Reader 

Sypnosis: She’s never been your typical omega. She’s never fit the stereotypical soft spoken and submissive role. Instead, she’s hot-headed and aggressive, leading people to believe her to be an alpha. “Borderline feral,” she’s called, and she can’t help but wonder if that’s what she’s been battling against her whole life. Being disowned by her own father and looked down upon by society for her biology kept her from allowing people to know she’s an omega. But when she meets her true mate, her secret is revealed, and she no longer feels safe inside her own home. Fast forward a year, Y/N Y/L/N is living peacefully with her alpha and his brother. Her temper had been kept at bay since being mated, and Dean Winchester never expected her to be the omega most alphas saw them to be. But when he breaks her trust, and her heart, she snaps, and the inner ferocity she fought so hard against for years comes to light, and the only thing that can save her from herself is her alpha, the one who betrayed her in the first place.

Warnings: Language, A/B/O dynamics, graphic violence, Feral!Reader, harassment, attempted physical assault, cheating, graphic murder, age-gap, more warnings TBD

Chapter Warnings: Angst. Language. Cheating. A/B/O dynamics. Insecurities and self doubt.

A/N: @spnonewordbingo- Wild

Surprise:)

He swallowed, taking a deep breath before he looked away. I licked my lips, waiting for an answer. He took a few moments to reply, and when he did, it shattered my heart even more.

“It was a mistake, Y/N. I know that,” he said.

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // My Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Dean x Feral!Reader (eventually)

Sypnosis: She’s never been your typical omega. She’s never fit the stereotypical soft spoken and submissive role. Instead, she’s hot-headed and aggressive, leading people to believe her to be an alpha. “Borderline feral,” she’s called, and she can’t help but wonder if that’s what she’s been battling against her whole life. Being disowned by her own father and looked down upon by society for her biology kept her from allowing people to know she’s an omega. But when she meets her true mate, her secret is revealed, and she no longer feels safe inside her own home. Fast forward a year, Y/N Y/L/N is living peacefully with her alpha and his brother. Her temper had been kept at bay since being mated, and Dean Winchester never expected her to be the omega most alphas saw them to be. But when he breaks her trust, and her heart, she snaps, and the inner ferocity she fought so hard against for years comes to light, and the only thing that can save her from herself is her alpha, the one who betrayed her in the first place.

Warnings: Language, A/B/O dynamics, graphic violence, Feral!Reader, harassment, attempted physical assault, cheating, graphic murder, age-gap, more warnings TBD

Chapter Warnings: Angst, language, A/B/O, cheating, violence, murder, graphic violence, self deprecation, guilt

Today, my blog turned one! Although I didn’t start posting fanfiction until January, I’ve had this blog for 365 days, which seems so crazy since it feels like I started it a month ago.

On top of that, my favorite time of year is coming up: Halloween. So in order to celebrate my all time favorite holiday and time of year and my blog’s birthday, I’m hosting a little challenge.

The challenge will be an angst challenge (surprising, right?). Prompts will be below the cut and rules will be listed below. I’m super stoked for this challenge and I hope y’all are too. Thanks for those of you who have been with me on this crazy ass journey from day one (or month one, two, or twelve. I don’t care) and sticking around. Love y’all!

Without further ado, here are the rules:

1. The fic must be angst. Smut is allowed as long as it’s not graphic and fluff is allowed as long as there’s not a lot and angst is the main focus.

2. Anything over 300 words must have the “Keep Reading” option.

3. It must be SPN based. Canon fics, AU, and RPF fics are allowed.

4. Warn accordingly!! Anything goes, no matter how dark. It’s an angst challenge so everything and anything is welcomed really. But warn, warn, warn!!

5. No ships. Only reader inserts. No hate against them, I just don’t like ship fics that much.

6. If you decide to write smut, keep it light and no kinks allowed. Sorry.

7. Fics will be reblogged as posted and will be added to the masterlist at the end of the challenge.

8. Fics are due October 31st. Extensions will be allowed as long as you message me and let me know you need one.

9. Tag me in the A/N and use the tag #Rose’sHalloweenAngst in the first five tags.

10. You don’t have to be following me but it’d be greatly appreciated.

11. Send me an ask with your top two choices and have fun with it!

12. There can be two people per prompt.

13. Any pairing is fine. I’m personally a Dean girl but I’ll read anything.

Prompts will be half angst/dark, half Halloween themed. Halloween themed prompts may take a bit more thinking to make it angsty, but y’all are smart.

Choose wisely:)