Why is every problem is three to ten far larger problems in a clown car absolutely giddy to make my life the joke

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@typophilosopher
Why is every problem is three to ten far larger problems in a clown car absolutely giddy to make my life the joke

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just saw Guad post about having to consiosly choose to take tomance seriously when talking with peers and it trigger something in me. cause i have to consiously choose to love someone. like this whole "falling" in love thing is where the disconect is for me.
like i cant love on accident. now i cant just stop on command but starting is for sure a thing that takes time and effort. how teeneagers be stumbling into it ass first is beyond me.
anyway im probably some cross between aromantic and polyamorous. cause my ideal relationship is three to five people living in duplex that have regular cuddle puddles, rant about their special intrests(including nsfw ones), and are eachothers emergency contacts. actual sex would be fun but is not required.
Even if I didnβt have a solid plan, in the back of my head, I always assumed Iβd kill myself.
Now Iβm an adult and people my age have their lives in order and Iβm stuck here, confused, because I never planned to be alive and Iβm so far behind.
I feel like Iβll never catch up.
Hey all.
I want to make an addition to this. I made this post a long time ago.
Iβm currently back in university, and Iβve made so much progress with my trauma. Iβm in a loving relationship.
Things can and will get better. Itβs not too late.
Nothing is perfect by any means. But Iβm happy Iβm still here and didnβt kill myself. I hope you get to that point, too π
The addition is important! I see the original post circulating a lot, but the addition is important!
New addition two years later. Iβm still going strong!
Iβm getting married. Iβm still in that loving relationship.
Iβve learned that thereβs no real timeline. Itβs okay. And while it sucks that I lost time, thereβs still so much for me to experience and enjoy.
Newest addition. 7 years after the original post!
I got married last month! My dog is laying on me snoring. Iβve learned to have healthy friendships and relationships. Iβve learned that Iβm not alone and that even when things are hard, Iβm going to be okay.
This showed up in my notes again. And here we are. 2026.
Iβve been married a little over two years. I just got home from friendships that feel like home and family. My husband and I have our own place. I have a full ass book ready to be published.
I donβt know. Iβm still in a good place and I canβt believe how far Iβve come from my original post.
for those unaware today india experienced one of its biggest protests in half a decade. there were protests all over the nation for various causes but the major one was in delhi. all we asked for was the resignation of the education minister because he's failed the students of this nation time & time again. but we were met with brutality, the police had barricaded the main site of protest (jantar mantar). metro stations were shutdown, the public was restrained from reaching the protest site and all the adjoining areas had signal jammers to make sure the crowd had no access to constant updates. they had us blocked from all the sides. they were lathi (baton) charging students from one side & releasing tear gas from the other. you couldn't walk 100 m on streets without having a tear gas shell thrown at you. there were many students, women & kids bleeding β some from their head. some couldn't walk anymore. the police had removed their nameplates & acted with full impunity to resort to unprecedented levels of violence. they were pelting stones at us, beating up people for no reason, forcefully detaining them and attacking us constantly with tear gas & rubber bullets. they wouldn't let you exit either. the crowd was peaceful & looking out for each other yet they were met with violence. i made a friend who was all alone & she asked to join me & my friend because a policeman wouldn't leave her alone. he constantly prodded her for personal info, invited her back to the jeep saying they have food there, wouldn't stop following her around. you couldn't call or ask anyone for help, we were left to fend for ourselves & be on a constant lookout if you did not want to be beaten up to death by police. all for what? asking a resignation? shame on this country.
Youth-led movement calls on education minister to quit in one of Indiaβs largest anti-government rallies in years
More than 10,000 protesters braved tear gas and baton charges in their largest challenge yet to PM Modi's government.
AI has really been pissing me off lately!
cause it could have been good it could have been fun. If it wasnt robbing people. if it wasnt destroying tge planetif it wasnt actively making people dumber. if it wasnt just another tool for the rich to opress us with

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I've been listening to the wayward children series theough libby and i notices the name of the narrator kept changing but the voice seemed to stay the same. I think it might be AI voiced and im devastated.
i had a dream last night that the entire world used a currency (?) called angrypennies which as the name implies are obtained by experiencing anger. the stronger and more intense your anger was, the more angrypennies you'd gain. an all-consuming rage would earn you more than a slight irritation, etc. so people were always searching for ways to fuel their anger and purposefully keeping themselves angry all the time because they wanted to earn angrypennies. unclear if angrypennies could be exchanged for goods and services, or if they were just a collectible.
anyway, as if this wasn't heavy-handed enough, at one point british comedian greg davies appeared and explained that angrypennies couldn't be worth feeling angry all the time. this was a real revelation to dream-me and i was finally able to break free of the angrypenny grind and allow myself to experience emotions other than anger.
it goes without saying that i will be using the word angrypenny as if it was part of the common vernacular instead of a term that my dreaming brain conjured up i.e. "he's all about the angrypennies" (derogatory way to refer to a guy who searches for reasons to be angry and possibly lacks introspection)
Item: Angrypennies
YOU hates terfs
rb if u hates terfs
Official βterfs get out of my houseβ Post
wtf....
false alarm its just down
wtf....

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so i was thinking about my shows soecifically some i most proggresive youtubers and such. and i realized that on of my long time faves has been lagging behind.
let me be clear Drawfee is not racist at all. bot in any kinda way! they have had several black people on the show and on the stream. they've never said or joked about the n-worsd as far as i know.
however they arent exactly anti-racist. it kinda for goodish reasons. Drawfee for the most part is a bunch of funny artsy white people yapping. and its because of that they are very careful when talking about race stuff. they stay in in their wheel house. And Karina is kinda the only one who spent significant time with non white people especially when she started streaming with onsta. and it shows. Its why karina got so much more hate than everyone else. she's not just a woman she half philapino. and even the few years younger she's significant more cultured, in the sense that knows more about different opressed cultures that the others hosts and refences those cultures regularly.
And while drawfee condemened these haters as misogynist, usually when prompted by karina herself, none of them really talked about the racism involved on the show ( I dont watch all the streams so idk about that)
because its a comedy show and the no one is comfortable (or knowledgeable) joking about race and racism. they dont really have the means to be anti-racist.
they could learn but that would take research, time and effort that they may not have to spare right now.
they could also hire a black host but thats still alot of time and effort.
ps im being really lenient and basically apolgizing for drawfee faults as i point them out but fuck it im attached to these white people on my screen and this feels really bad to talk about.
Is this anything
I propose an addition
Been thinking about this graph a little (actually been thinking about it a lot)
OH THIS IS BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
from left to right the game screenshots are In Stars And Time, Minecraft, Night in the Woods, and Outer Wilds
May I add:
true romance
Just so y'all know, thereβs more lol
yall a big part of me being bad at socializing is the autism we qll know this its obvious. but another large part might be that i simply cant hear what yall be saying.
like three times today i straight up missed a key parts of the conversation and just went yup. cause im always missing things and am to anxious to ask people to repeat themselvs. snd it usually works out ok ish but i feel like i not connecting with people because of it.
im just out here making friendly noises cause i got no idea what else to do
there is a particular kind of lesbian t4c pornographic art that is common among, like, "sapphic" "spicy" patreon artists on twitter/bluesky that i don't think is deliberately or malevolently chasery per se but kind of stumbles assbackwards into it. what happens in my assessment is that the artist (not a trans woman) projects onto the submissive cis bottom characters, which is fine, but then the artist tries to project all of her other kinks onto the other character all at the same time -- which is also not necessarily bad, except, well, when those kinks are "size difference" and "muscles" and "breeding" and "PIV" and "lots of cum" and "getting cummed inside of for real," and the lesbian artist wants to put them all together simultaneously, and especially if the artist may genuinely but naively want to be inclusive of trans women in lesbian art, you end up with very sleek but offputting trans woman top fetish pornography that i can really only describe as "pronouns futanari"
everybody saying they know what artist i'm vagueing here is almost definitely all thinking of different people, anybody wondering how to avoid falling into this pitfall ought to consider trans women who don't use their dick and trans women who don't even have dicks at all (but my theory is that in addition to tasteless and kneejerk aversion to neopussy, a lot of artists would very genuinely have no idea how to signpost that a character is trans otherwise because their imagination just straight up does not extend that far - but IMO, that's exactly what this is about! you're telling me that for one reason or another, this artist seems to have a lot less interest in "trans women" and everything that could possibly entail, and a lot more interest in an almost fantastically rendered category of "women who just so happen to have [working!] penises" that you can't help but feel is treated as something distinct from the former? nihil novi sub sole, even if there's maybe a little more lip service)
now i have not seen K-Pop Demon Hunters but what I have seen, as the perfect example of this, is score upon score of artists drawing the half-demon one fucking the other ones (but usually the smallest one) with the penis that the artist implies that she would simply and obviously and naturally have on account of being half-demon. i have tried and failed to look it up but there is another post floating around somewhere about how common it is for sapphic teratophiles to treat every even slightly monstrous woman as ultimately just a phallus and it's a very similar, overlapping concept

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watching mya dad parent his step kid like " Damn i knew this was your fault but didnt realize you were this bad". like this man just berated a three year old for having emotion. specifically emotions that are negative or inconvienent. just told her to stop being rude. honestly its all very dont do that dont do this stop that cryin. with very little comfort or emotional regulation given or being modled. just supression.
So tetrophilia. monster fucking but i'm the monster. humans can be pretty monsterous. and im autistic so im already a little uncanny. just turn that up to 11. then then my "human" is just some guy. a really calm short dude whose a like a barista, or a copy editor, or middle school librarian. And helps me out of a hunting trap. tends to my wounds and hides me from the government. best of all he doesnt think im hot. just strange creature that nice to hug and makes fun sounds.