now im imagining what pride events in ankh morpork are like
there will EXCLUSIVELY be kink at the ankh morpork pride parade
(via @takiki16)
(Tags via @romanceyourdemons)
Extremely correct response, leaving out the inevitable debacle over citizens declaring counterfeit genders in order to have rarer pronoun pins to sell to collectors in the underground pronoun market.
Dibbler, only mildly discouraged, eventually realizes he can sell embellishments for your pronoun pin, which he claims will upgrade your gender.
Also of note is that there are no cops present at Ankh-Morpork Pride. This is not because they aren't welcome (everyone knows Nobby is as kinky as they come), but because the festivities include throwing bricks at the City Watch building and they are busy trying to make sure they still have a place to work the next day. The Night Watch prepares each year with a barricade, and pre-marriage Vimes always collects the good bricks so he can save for a house. Nobody is really sure where the tradition came from, but it's good fun and usually nobody gets hurt too badly.
The bricks are provided by Vetinari, who considers it a good test of city infrastructure and training for the Watch.
Cheery would 100% march in the parade. She'd get Nobby to go with her, but Nobby would be completely oblivious as to why (he assumed she just wants company).
Moist von lipwig would have pride-themed stamps made; these would inevitably have some kind of issue, which would create some outrage and ultimately make the stamps more valuable as collectors' items.
I don't get the impression that Ankh Morpork ever had anti-sodomy or crossdressing laws, so I don't think the queer community's history with the police would be the same as it is in the real world. Especially because Cheery Littlebottom literally started the Dwarf trans/feminism movement as an officer of the Watch, with the Watch's support.
Dibbler would totally sell pride flags with the wrong colors (and then insist it was the "new, updated version" if anyone questioned him)
The nobility are all scandalized, meanwhile the Seamstresses Guild has a float in the parade
Adora Belle Dearheart is deeply involved with at least one queer organization and is one of the main organizers of the Pride festival, but refuses to answer any questions about why
Ridcully decides the wizards should be involved, and Ponder Stibbons should make a float and organize the refreshments for them to eat while riding on the float. Ridcully's concept of allyship is loudly saying, "Well done, that man!" and pointing at anyone he thinks is exhibiting particularly queer behavior.
Madam Sharn and Pepe release a whole new line of Pride-themed chainmail
Bengo Macarona is embraced as a gay icon
Reg Shoe decides the main pride event is too corporate, and organizes an alternative pride parade for the same time and place; this immediately gets subsumed by the main pride event. Some Omnians show up to Pride to protest and Reg is delighted to have someone to fight with.
More from the tags, I love all of you
The Assasins Guild have a float for queer youth dealing with unsupportive parents that has a banner that reads "Over their dead body? WE CAN HELP"
Nobby is voted Most Genderful for the ninth year in a row.
This thread has gotten seriously better since I saw it last. :)
Suddenly being smacked in the middle of this by the fact Vetinari was disappointed Vimes didn't properly handcuff him and made a note to get some proper shackles for next time
Β 'You're not going to handcuff me?' Vimes's mouth dropped open. 'Why should I do that?' 'Treason is very nearly the ultimate crime, Sir Samuel. I think I shouldΒ demandΒ handcuffs.' 'All right, if you insist.' Vimes nodded at Dorfl. 'Cuff him, then.' 'You haven't got any shackles, by any chance?' said Lord Vetinari, as Dorfly produced a pair of handcuffs. 'We may as well do this thing properly -' 'No. WeΒ don'tΒ have any shackles.' 'I was only trying to help, Sir Samuel. Shall we be going?'Β - Jingo
Dibbler pitches his mismatched flags by swearing up and down that each flag represents one of the lesser known genders and can be verified, absolutely verified, by the kind hardworking ladies/gents/et cetera of the Ankh Morpork Bureau of Gender.
Just reach your hand into the pile and pull out the flag that resonates with your unique gender!
Absolutely disgusting that no-one in this series of reblogs has talked about all those well-built and handsome men at the Young Men's Reformed Cultists of the Ichor God Bel-Shamharoth Association and what they'd be doing on their parade float. There's a popular song about how much fun it is to stay there, but of course it's a smidge difficult to do the dance properly if you don't have twice-four boneless limbs.
