:/

this morning i got a spam call that just played clown waiting music for a few seconds and then hung up on me. which really pissed me off a lot

I pawned your chastity key for drug money sorry

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.

ⓘ Tip You can skip part of the day by taking a nap.

First test flight of a flying car by Mazda partially a success

I feel like the Arizona license plate should take some place in our analysis of whatever in the goddam fuck we’re looking at here

you gotta start rambling in those tags bestie how else are you going to get that blogger to follow you back and your mutuals to fall in love with you #GetYapping

this is hands down my single favorite post ive ever made that got notes

I sincerely hope that the OP realizes that gramma was very likely quoting that cartoon.

the cartoon that was drawn and posted based on my post? probably not, but i guess we can never know

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

i don't really think it's like that at all

that 0 note post is your mutual dying in a hot car alone no water no ac

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

This is the Pride Month that It will happen. I feel it in my gay bones