Twilight Teardrops

You reach out your emotions and people say they'll help, only to go to the other side or hesitate cuz they no longer understand. That's my feel atm

My resolution. Not new years but year end. Fix everything that's wrong with me List of said things : Intellect, I don't know as much for my age as I should Body, it's out of shape, disgusting and unhealthy. Im too sickly to function sometimes. I need to care more for my self and not stick out like a sore thumb compared to other beautiful girls around me. Mind, pills, shock tests, counseling. I don't care at this point I need to fix my mind or I will lose everyone around me. Relationship, I don't ever know if I was really meant to be in one. But I shouldn't be tumor to the person I'm dating. It's not a mask on my face if I'm training myself to better my relationship. And I shouldn't listen to leave because a boy doesn't listen to me. Each human is there own and my partner and I can't be as close or as open so quickly. It was a mistake. I have to start over. Life goals, no more easily laughed at goals. I may even take the UN out of my sights. I should just be focused on getting a salary. These things I must change by December 31st. If I don't i have ti find a permanent reminder to punish myself I did not achieve what I should by this year. And do complete it by the next year. If I can't even do something for myself then what's the point of all this shit I'm in now? It's a waste of life and time.

All of you have Have I changed I don't know I feel far behind because I'm No longer understood Everyone's going away again