bella is angry when she leaves arizona. angry that she has to leave. angry at phil for flipping her life upside down. but mostly she’s angry at renee for forcing her to grow up way too soon. for making her take on the mothering role bc renee could never just take some fucking responsibility.
but bella leaves anyway. because who is bella if a not a people pleaser
(but she’s still so angry. festering with the type of rage you can taste on your tongue. the type of rage that never really washes clean)
forks is dull and awful and rainy and cold and smells like it’s rotting from the inside out.
and charlie tries but he’s absent. just like renee. he’s always working. he’s never home. she eats dinner and breakfast alone most of the time. and she starts to wonder if part of this rage is coming from loneliness. because when she eats her dinner that night in a kitchen lit only by a single flickering light bulb and all she can hear is the endless drumming of the rain on the roof she feels inexplicably lonely.
but hasn’t she always been alone?
but soon the feeling is swallowed up by her rage. and she’s thankful for it.
rage, bella decides, is far easier to deal with than loneliness.
bella does not like the cullens she decides rather quickly. but she supposes hates them less than most of the others.
mostly because she saw that look in edwards eyes when she first walked into that classroom. that shock quickly covered up by a confused rage.
and oh bella knows that well.
he’s gone for a long while after that and when he finally returns she can feel his fury wafting off of him like calming ocean waves.
she smiles for the first time in months.
she figures out relatively quickly that edwards a vampire. him and his family are not very good at acting like normal people.
when she tells edward as much he stiffens up and stumbles over his words for the first time since she’s met him
‘we don’t hurt humans. i promise.’
but she wants to say how boring.
the baseball game edward drags her to is the most exciting to thing to happen to her in years.
not because of the sport itself, even with vampires she can’t help but find the game dull. and it doesn’t help that it reminds of her of phil and renee. which only works to make her rage spike.
no. its exciting because of the reheaded vampire with the wicked curveball.
is how she introduces herself. her voice is deceptively soft.
but bella recognizes that look in her ruby red eyes.
it’s like looking in a mirror.
oh, bella thinks, this should be so much fun.
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